Every year on Valentine's, I think of my friend Susan who saw me wearing black Junior year and asked why.

"Did someone die?" she questioned me.

"St. Valentine," I sighed wanly.

Susan snorted, and I explained that I was wearing black to contravene our Student Association's "Go Red for Valentine's!" nonsense. By second period, Susan had gone back to her room to change, and every year after, all through college, she and I wore Ironic Black on Valentine's day, and mourned the death of saints.

Not being one of those people who can get over the sneering, I have never had The Valentine's Experience. I also still wear black on Valentine's - not because it's the death of saints, which was funny at the time, but because it's a crap holiday, promoted by marketing corporations, and I hate being manipulated about emotions - on any day of the year. I have three emails per day from FTD this time of year, I'm told what kind of woman gets gifts, and how to be that person, I'm told how to react about gifts - or not the right gift -- and oy, the messages to men this time of year!

To be certain: I think you have a healthy and centered response, which is to appreciate others, and I have, in my life, tried for that. When I was teaching, I insisted that each of my students chose sort of a Secret Valentine and did something kind for them, as well as writing a compliment to every single member of their class. ALL MONTH. I was a Love Facist in February, let me tell you. We were all going to LOVE ONE ANOTHER, gosh darn it, and learn some presidential history and African American history that month, too. It was all-inclusive, yo.

This year, I'm making cookies for my entire chorus - all one hundred and fifty-five of us - and special cookies for friends and my section. I'm sending chocolate flowers to a medical student who is beginning her finals on the 13th - what a woeful week to be locked down until March 7 on fifty hours or oral and practical exams and papers. I'm TRYING to examine my karma and polish it up. I'm TRYING to be nice.

But I still think it's a crap holiday.

Maybe it's time to look at juice boxes again. Up here in Ontario I can get a number of different brands of juice box without sugar and just juice. That way Lucia can fit in more. I also wouldn't doubt that it's the truth about her lunch. I homeschool my daughter, but I hear from my friends what goes into school lunches these days. Junk food is just so much cheaper than real food and the mom's are sure the kids will eat it.

Tanita: I used to wear black on V-D, too! I appreciate your Love Facism. It rocks.

Fletchingtonfarms: Hello, and thanks for visiting! It's nice to see you.

My concern about juice is that, while 100% juice is preferable to not, juice (as opposed to the whole fruit with its fiber) is sugar + water. That by itself is not such a problem, except that when it's served with cookies, cupcakes, and chips, it's still a sugar overload. Fortunately, Lucia saying no to the juice pouch doesn't call attention to herself, as the grownups in the room are busy trying to corral the all kids, whose behavior has suddenly changed from lively to frenetic. Hmmmm.....

"I was a Love Facist in February, let me tell you. We were all going to LOVE ONE ANOTHER, gosh darn it, and learn some presidential history and African American history that month, too. It was all-inclusive, yo."

That made me laugh SO HARD.

Farida, I like the sound of your gifts to yourself, and that doll for Lucia is as cute as she can be. I have never gotten the hang of Valentine's Day or any holiday, really. I'm not very good at anything that has to happen on a particular day, which is at least 90% because I just don't pay enough attention the calendar. Also, it just feels like a lot of pressure.

I'm not the kind of girl who longs for flowers or jewelry, either.

Anyway, this year, my best friend and I decided that we are going out to dinner together to celebrate Valentine's Day, so we have reservations at one of our favorite restaurants. I am very much looking forward to that.