I've received a ton of praise from people who have come across my website, and a ton of rejection letters from agents. It does get frustrating - the book seems to be well-received, and no one wants to touch the thing professionally!

The frustration has - thus far - spurred me into greater efforts to promote and sell the book on my own. I've put it into Kindle and Smashwords, and am looking for ways to advertise it elsewhere.

Honestly, I don't know if the feeling of continually butting my head against a wall will eventually sour me on the whole thing. But so far, well, all I can see is that if I want to be a success it's up to me.

A last thought - long time back I read Alexander Sozhynitzyn's 'Gulag Archipelago', and was struck by his description of a cellmate - a military officer who kept up a positive attitude both mentally, in his speech and thought, and physically, by maintaining a fitness regimen in a five-by-eight cell.

And this gentleman was scheduled to be executed.

Whether it's publishing or prison camp, life is what we make it.

I struggle with attitude all the time. It's just not in the publishing world. :) I'll paraphrase Abraham Lincoln (I think) - a man is about as happy as he makes up his mind to be.

It's different - when someone reads (and rejects) something I've written than what makes me struggle in my career in the real world. In my paying job, assault is the norm. I have a much harder time being rationally detached when I'm being kicked, punched, spit upon, cursed etc., than I do when an agent passes on a manuscript. Is it disappointing? Sure. Do I have nightmares about it? No. Does my real job give me nightmares? You bet it does sometimes. Bitterness creeps in without much fanfare. I imagine everyone can feel it no matter what they're doing with a career or any other aspect of life that can cause frustration. The best things for me personally that I've found to combat it from becoming a permanent part of my affect is to use humor and do things I love every moment that I can in life. It tends to make the bad feelings float away.

Negativity directed at others has always baffled me. I suppose it's because I'm an internaliser so I've always suffered from the exact opposite problem! Every rejection and knock-back was like a blow to my self-esteem, and felt like someone telling me my writing wasn't good enough and that I might never be good enough. I never got angry at the people rejecting my work, or felt they were missing a great opportunity - instead I'd spend a few days feeling really down about my work not being up to scratch.

But then I'd pick myself up and do an edit or write something else. I kept working at it, and started placing in competitions and selling short stories, and my self confidence grew. This year I signed with my delightful agent who does wonders for my self-esteem. Getting my first book contract also helped :)

I sometimes wish I wasn't so hard on myself in the early stages when there were lots of rejections, but I certainly know it helped me to learn and grow, and made me the writer I am.

Katherine

I've never understood the negativity. Agents are, as I understand it, looking for things they can get behind and sell. Not everyone's manuscript is going to be a good fit for every agent.

My only real interaction with an agent (other than rejection letters) was an agent who liked my writing and the idea I was pitching, but didn't believe he was the right person to represent it. He took the time to call and give me some tips to improve my query and some thoughts about the partial he'd looked at. I always keep him in mind because it reminds me that writers needn't be negative about agents or the industry. Sometimes things don't work out. Nothing personal. Move on and keep writing, keep submitting, and do those things because you love the written word.

Rachelle, you have said this so well as have many of the above posters who elaborated from their own experience. And this advice applies to all aspects of life. I hear friends and people I encounter who are in other fields than writing ranting with negativity about the reasons for their failures and shortcomings and it never has anything to do with them. They turn me off so much that I understand why pros in their fields would decline to be involved with them.
With extreme negativity I think the only other relationships you are going to tend to attract are other negativists and neither side will be working for the benefit of the other.
Personally, I'd be happy for an agent publisher relationship that had initial shortcomings. There is always the future.

As Rachelle well knows, the biggest temptation for me is to get whiney about how long the publishing process takes. My first book comes out in June, nearly two years after I signed the contract.

There have been times of great excitement and hard work followed by seemingly endless lulls in activity. I’m slowly learning to embrace this pattern, plowing through the busy times and taking advantage of the downtimes to build my platform, make some extra money, and catch up on reading.

The truth is, you can choose to be miserable at nearly every stage of the process. You can be miserable while you pitch your book to agents and publishers. You can be miserable when you get a book deal. You can be miserable when you publish. Heck, you can even be miserable after you sell a gazillion copies!

My husband likes to say, “Wherever you go, there you are.” No matter how successful or unsuccessful you are, contentment is a choice at every stage of the journey.

I’m convinced that part of the problem is the fact that, especially in this industry, it’s really easy to create idols out of our dreams. Idols are the greatest source of discontentment, for we look to them to have power that they do not have. They continually disappoint.

When I catch myself getting entitled and impatient, I remember the HIV-positive widows I met in India who (by most standards) had absolutely nothing to celebrate. And yet, they were by far the most content, worshipful, kind, and giving people I have ever met. They didn’t have a lot of idols, so they enjoyed a powerful connection to the true God…who never disappoints.

I was at SiWC a few weeks ago, and Bob Mayer said something very interesting.

He said when someone says something, and you get angry at them, pay attention to that moment because it might be they've just said something you know (deep-down) is true but desperately don't want to admit is.

In other words, knee-jerk negativity--if you can catch yourself, turn off your anger and examine it--is an opportunity to see into your own blind spots. That's a very valuable thing.

Although years ago I had a negative experience with an agent, I have never painted agents with a broad brush. I would be honored to be picked up by an agent. I'm just more careful who I query. I make sure and do my research ahead of time, should the opportunity arise, I know I'll be in a wonderful position. It's pretty hard to get me down. I've already got my biggest hearts desire, eternity with Jesus.

It all boils down to being professional. In an 8-5 job, you can't trash talk your boss in the middle of the hallway where everyone is standing...including your boss. Not and keep that job. That's not smart.

Trash talking people who hold your potential career in their hands on the internet for everyone to "hear" is the same thing and equally not smart.

Be professional. Treat this as a job. You don't have to like everyone and you don't have to like everything about the system. But if you want to be a part of it, you have to respect it.

Frankly, with all the "bad news" we hear re: the publishing biz, writers DO have a lot to feel negative about--and now we're expected to be Pollyannas too? Sure, most of us know better than to complain in front of an AGENT, but very few will even get that chance. For every nice agent, it seems there are dozens who don't even acknowledge you exist. We may try to keep it in stride, but after months of being ignored by agents who request your ms., then refuse to read it, it does get old.

Any suggestions on how to stay "positive" when we're constantly faced with criticism and rejection?

Well said, one thing the internet does not have is partitions. I am continually surprised to run into the level of entitlement from people surrounding their proposals and search for publication. My two cents: a little humility and understanding that humans are involved in the whole process goes a long way.

Bitter Pill and Anonymous 9:00--Publishing is no different than any other sphere of life: businesses, families, churches, communities. They're all populated with with very human people, and they all give us ample opportunity to be frustrated, dejected, and angry at various times. Learning to deal with that in a productive way is one of the major spiritual, emotional and psychological goals of our lives, wouldn't you say?

The three ways I deal with negative emotions are prayer, writing in my journal, and talking to my wife. All three work so well, in fact, that any negativity I may be feeling is usually short-lived (a grudge is a heavy thing to carry). The serenity prayer is good, too. So much in the publishing world, as in life, is beyond one's control. "...and the wisdom to know the difference." Amen.

I know someone who lost an agent because of this very thing.

The agent had expressed interest in this person's writing and the contract was being written up. But the author wrote a blog post expressing doubt over whether this was the best agent for them. (The agent was new as an agent but with lots of publishing experience.) The agent emailed a short time later to say, "I'm probably not the best agent for you. Sorry." The blogger, of course, was kicking themself and this wasn't even a whole lot of negativity. Just an expression of a little doubt.

Be careful what you put on the internet, people. Be very careful!

This is a really important post for anyone on submission to agents or editors.

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU POST!

Everyone has moments of frustration where they need to just let off some steam, but here's a thougt: How about you do that in the privacy of you own home to a parnter/friend/cat instead of in the most public place there is--the internet.

I've recently read agent and editor posts (one by an agent in my agent's agency) that said they had just passed on an author because of what was posted on their blog/website. When you rant publicly, every agent that read it is going to know, A) That you've been rejected and, depending on what you post, B) How many times and why. My heart breaks for that author, but you can't blame the agent.

Good life advice, really. Not just re: publishing. I guess I assume it is going to be super, horribly difficult and anything to the contrary will be a lovely surprise.

But then, my father has been in the book industry since I was born, nearly forty years ago and he has filled me with cynicism about it from toddlerhood.

Having no expectations is also a great strategy.

I was mightily convicted this week--not about my publisher, of whom I've been a staunch cheerleader, but about waiting in general. I was reading Bible verses about patience after looking them up in my Bible's topical index. It includes the definition of patience, too, and I read it, expecting to see my picture there, you know? :-) But here's what I read: Patience--the ability to bear trials (yeah, I'm all about that, where's my picture?) *without grumbling.* I mean, I literally gasped. Upon painful self-scrutiny, I concluded that I'd never waited patiently for anything in my life. When I discussed this definition with my daughter, she came to the same conclusion about herself. This, though patience is a fruit of the Spirit! So my prayer is that the Lord will do some heavy pruning, cutting away all the deadwood grumbling that is choking out the patience fruit. So as from now, I have no grumbles about the CBA, editors, or agents. Snip, snip.

I have found that befriending other writers and agents through facebook/twitter/blogging gives a sense of kinship with them - as people - so it's actually exciting when something good happens to them. I feel like celebrating, almost like it's a victory for "one of us," even if it isn't my own ms being requested or published. Good things are happening, and it gives me hope.

"Take some time to get yourself back in a good place."

Ah, yes. The 'good place'. The happy place. The soundproofed room with padded walls and a well-stocked refrigerator. This is where I do my best work. :))

Another piece of good advice, thanks Rachelle.
Readers can soon be put off too. I have read rants of others and it has put me off going back for another visit, therefore the author has lost a potential customer for their book.
An upbeat blog/website will draw the audience, a gentle moan is okay, but bad mouthing agents is not a wise move for the reasons outlined.
As those before me have stated; whinge at home.

This is about professionalism, but it does go beyond that. Rachelle answered Bitter Pill with the thoughts I also had: you will deal with human nature living and working among humans. People will help or hinder you, that's the way it is. Your response to what comes is as important as what you're aiming to do. You can keep focusing the flaws and unfairness of the pubbing world but to do so would be to rob yourself of the chance to grow. Work on that log in your own eye, etc. The measure of grace that you give is the measure you will be given. We all need grace.

Rachelle asked how we deal with frustration - for me, with others, I find praying for them helps a lot. It may never change them or the situation, but it helps change my attitude toward them. Fosters compassion and allows me to want better for them. A little more grace never hurts.

And one other note: a lesson I keep learning the hard way---making assumptions is dangerous. We need to be slow to assume, even if the evidence seems crystal clear we are right in what we assume. We may actually find we are completely wrong, but if we react before knowing that, oh the damage we can do with our tongues.

I've been a book publicist for over thirty years. I am trying to recall the very few authors who have never complained about a publisher. Authors complain about publishers because they have unrealistic expectations, or because their publisher let them down or both. Are they allowed to ever mention this again? Yes. They are. Should they make it their daily mantra? No. They should not. The publishing industry is in dire straits, just like most other industries. So, hello, it just got HARDER. It's harder for publishers. It's harder for authors. It's harder for publicists. It's harder for journalists. It's just harder. It just is. So, yes, you need to arm yourself with whatever tools you can master to wend your way through the mire. Or as I told my daughter, "Get on the Miracle Train, Honey. It's the only one arriving at the station."

GREAT post. I don't struggle with bitterness because, as you said, why would I want to be part of an industry that I disdain. I believe in the whole crazy system and want to be a part of it. My time will come.

In the meantime I cheer for my writer friends' successes.

I def agree that ranting should be done in private, not in public forums. But I do think publishing is a very unique biz where we're constantly judged and critiqued, unlike jobs that may have an annual performance review--then it's over. So now you know why we often post ANONYMOUS comments. Thanks for the chance to vent!

The sheer difficulty of even getting an agent to read my manuscript brings up feelings of bitterness and resentment.

If I'm honest about it.

I'm working on overcoming that and being humble though!

No offence, Rachelle, but I struggle with the attitude of...guess what? Agents. At least, agents on the internet. I don't see much agent bashing on the net - all I see is endless writer bashing. We are constantly being told by anonymous agents and publishers via blogs & twitter (at least you give your identity on this site - credit to you) what we should be doing, how our manuscripts aren't up to scratch and that we're not trying hard enough. I'm sure some of you are actually trying to help writers out and, if you genuinely are, then good for you. But many of us writers work pretty damn hard, actually - a lot harder than the pompous, lazy, fairweather agents I've been unlucky enough to do business with - and we put up with a lot of grief. Lousy money, lousy contracts, poor PR, you name it. It's time that we were given a little credit for all the energy and hours we put in and the hope we try to keep alive despite the rejection letters we get. I've published a few books and had some awful publishing experiences but by some miracle I'm not bitter - I still keep an open mind and believe that I'll meet a decent agent one day. But don't forget that if there were no writers to put food on your table, all you agents would be standing in the dole queue right now.

Not bitter??!!

I haven't struggled with bitterness against the publishing industry, at least not yet :P I have, though, struggled with it in other aspects of my life.

It's true--even if you think you're bitter in private, it does eventually make its way to the surface. Best thing to do, for me is lay it in front of God and ask Him to help you. It's the only way I've ever been able to overcome bitterness and there's a lot of times I still struggle with it in other aspects of life.

How would a bitter romance writer get through their day? A bitter travel writer?

Aiming the bitter 'gun' toward the right target makes for better writing if you have a scene with bitter people. Aim the bitter gun at the industry, pull the trigger, and you might find yourself hopping around from shooting yourself in the foot.


We play the game; we don't make the rules. One rejection came back calling my writing weak, so I took my writing to the gym. Take the good with the bad and make each one better, then spread the goodwill.

The closet genius who never comes out doesn't get bent out of shape. The light of day usually shows at least one flaw too many. Working with it is the challenge unless you like the closet life.

To more light,

David Gillaspie

Another great reason to remain positive.

I say: Don't take it personally. Know that there will ALWAYS be room for growth--even if you are a Nora Roberts, Stephen King or Margaret Atwood.

That's what I do, and I'm aspiring to be published.

Not So Much Bitter, As Disappointed:

I understand well the concept that you shouldn't bite the hand that feeds you, and a little bit of professionalism goes a long, long way. I am always courteous to publishers and agents, and have never stooped to back talk or posturing--Likewise, I've been careful to keep my posts on the internet well away from my opinion on the publishing industry and where it is going as a whole.

But I can't help but think this kind of whitewashing of self is a denial of what a writer really is. I'm not saying that it's okay to be rude and ignornant--I just find it oddly Orwellian that writer's aren't allowed to express their overall general opinions of the publishing industry out of fear of ruffling some corporate feathers.

Not all brilliant writers are good people. Frankly, many of those we study in classrooms were downright assholes. Somehow, however, their work is what mattered most, and their personalities is what took a back seat to the message being conveyed. And perhaps, sometimes, these writers had very valid reasons for being the jerks they were.

There is a grave danger in dictating to others that they have to have 'marketable' personalities in order to succeed. In this respect, only one personality type gets to be heard, and I can't help but wonder at how unequivocally narrow that view is.

There are nice, polite writers. There are writers who are jerks. There are writers who are extroverts and there are writers who are hermits. There is always the possibility that one of them has something very important and valid to say. Pigeon-holing that talent dependent solely upon the cult of personality is done at the industry's peril.

Just my opinion, though.

And not one I'm signing with my real name.

Great post, and I'd also like to say that the same goes true for agents as well!

My first thought was, wow, I may be googled by an agent? How cool is that?

Then, because I'm a sci-fi/fantasy buff, the next thought was, it's like being watched from outer space! (insert spooky music)

hahahahahaha!!!

Still, bitterness and disappointment go both ways. I supposed if an agent were to carry on and on about authors, never saying anything good, we wouldn't want to query them ... and then where would their business come from?

Good morning Rachelle,

Bitterness is often made up of one part anger, one part resentment, and one part envy shaken together and swallowed quickly. Once a person soaks in this pioson it is hard to counter.

The best antidote I have found is on Joyce K. Ellis' web site. Link here and scroll down to The Ten Commandments for Aspiring Writers. Read daily and pray for help.

Be blessed,

Lynnda

The thing that bothers me (and why I'm not using my name here!) is that I have a name doppelganger on the web who also writes and is the first person who comes up in Google. I Googled myself and thought "When did I make a website??" and then realised it was my doppelganger! So please don't automatically think that the person you found is the same person that queries you - cos they're really not :-).

The link didn't work, so copy and paste, instead: http://www.joycekellis.com/teaching.asp .

Lynnda

So, if the manuscript is a guaranteed bestseller (bear with me), but the writer is negative, agents and publishers will pass it by, right?

Sure.

Seems to me today's agent staring at dollar signs would rather play the abused lover who says to his colleagues, "But you don't him like I know him."

Once I decided I was getting to a level where it was very possible that I would get signed, I started to close down all the negativity, and try to work with it, and through it. Yeah, I've been VERY frustrated at times, however, once I decided that this was my profession, I started to treat it professionally. I do agree that some writers don't get it that it's above all else, a profession.

I'm a newbie to the publishing life, first ebook just came out, it's doing really well I've been told but I spent some time trying to get there. What I've learned is this. Editors who I heard were 'hard asses' actually took the time to personally write to me when they rejected me to encourage me to keep writing, told me the ways I could improve, and KUDDOS to them because I appreciated it, took it to heart, and got a contract using their advice. It kept me going and thank GOD for them.
The agents that rejected me... I appreciated the time they took to look at my stuff, looking back I see why they rejected it, and if you think about all the people sending them stuff... WOW are they busy. Everyone is human and I always remember that, always. I've never gotten angry or bitter. It's like friendships with books. You either hit it off with someone and they love it or they don't. No one's fault. I don't like bashing. I am a really mellow, easy person, and I would never bash who published me because they gave me a shot, I'm grateful for it to the depths of my soul, and if there ever were a problem... I remember everyone is human, I get over it, and I have met a lot of other authors who tear down their editors and publishers and all I can think of is... 6 months ago I could only dream about EVER getting a book out and at one time... all they could do was dream about getting a book out... and now that they have that... appeciate it and stop expecting too much (some of them really do expect too much) and remember that everyone is human and nobody is perfect, self included.

Great Post! Great debate!

I've battled with negativity and bitterness, but not about the publishing industry. Still, I've learned how bitterness can eat you up inside and have been trying to let it go. Also, there is a positive way to deal with frustration: make changes. You can't change anybody else or the way things are, necessarily, but you can change yourself and what you do. It seems very simple advice and not worth paying attention to. It is; trust me! I know from experience.

I really enjoyed this post. Sometimes I think authors have an idea of what being published will look like, and when it doesn't live up to their fantasy, they can't get past it. We all need to keep our eyes focused on the present and future--not on our perceptions of what should be.

I work in an industry that breeds cynicism. As I sat at my desk one day, I heard a couple of guys complaining because they company wasn’t paying them enough. These are guys that I would guess are getting paid three times the national median wage. That just isn’t enough money to make ends meet. Walk down the hall a ways and you’ll hear someone talking about how his boss’s boss just doesn’t get it. They’re cutting money from important projects again and giving it to the unimportant ones. Most of the time, it comes down to a matter of perspective. Yeah, occasionally you find some guy who really is an idiot, but usually it’s just a matter of the guys looking at the bigger picture having different priorities than the guys looking at the details.

But I’ve never known of anyone getting fired because of cynicism. Guys can go to a staff meeting and pretty much run their mouth as much as they want (within reason) and they won’t get fired for it. Cynicism exists. In my industry at least, most people realize that the guy running his mouth but putting out good work is better than the guy who suffers in silence. At the very least, if people are voicing their complaints, we have an opportunity to rectify the problem, but if they say nothing then we don’t know we have a problem until it is a big problem.

I was a waitress at one time in my life and discovered that people become quite angry and rude when they are hungry. When I came across an especially distasteful customer, I would smile and the worse they behaved the wider I smiled. Just the act of smiling made me feel better, so I smile everytime I get frustrated, even if it means walking around like an idiot with a grin on my face.

Rachelle - Thanks for sharing these thoughts. I haven't started putting myself out there in the publishing world, but I'm prepared to face discouraging moments when I do. You mentioned a key word - gossip - and I think that's what can turn discouragement into bitterness. Whenever we rehash our frustrations with people outside the situation, it only heightens our discontentment.

I'm happy to see more agents and publishers putting the word out there that they are googling- that how we present ourselves to the public impacts their choices to represent us.

I know I struggle sometimes with tempering what I say, but I do it.

Honestly, all I want to do is sell. If I'm not happy with someone's treatment of me or my work, I just want to move on to the next option and open doors instead of close them.

My mother (and countless others) always said "Don't say anything if you can't say something nice." In moments of frustration, it's good to have a friend or fellow writer for venting, but keep those thoughts offline. My mother also always told me never to write anything down that could get me in trouble. Funny, since I'm a writer.

I agree with this post. But I'll go a litte further. Nobody (writers, agents, editors) benefits from a bitter attitude. It's damaging to the soul and certainly can hurt a career. But agents should also be very, very careful about their posts on the internet as well.

I'm happily agented but if that relationship should ever go awry, there are very few blogging agents I'd approach because of their undisguised distain and lack of respect for writers. (Present company excepted.)

All writer begin as unpublished writers. Once we become published
we still identify with the unpublished and bristle when blogging agents call writers names or treat them in a patronizing manner.

When will agents remember that there is no publishing business without writers? Please treat them with respect and dignity. Yes, there are some blowhards out there but they're generally in the minority. Don't chide an entire group for the actions of a few.

Rachelle, I, too, am baffled by those who are trying to open a door, but are pulling the door closed even while trying to yank it open. It makes no sense. We should always conduct ourselves as professionally as possible online, even if it's just through a comment on a blog. I don't think that means we can't express our opinions. It's okay to be real and express who we are and what we're about. In fact, I think we should do this. But it's also important to know that Google can bring anyone to us at anytime, and to be discerning. You're right, too, that even if we do all this but are harboring bitterness, it will show through. I try to keep a steady check on my attitude. I'm not perfect, but I've come quite a ways in my "old" age of 41. I guess years can bring about wisdom.

I think the attitude occurs when writers start taking rejections/feedback personally. I know I get defensive when I think someone doesn't like my writing, and I'd imagine others respond in a similar fashion. For many, the best defense is a good offense, hence the negativity. It's good to remember that it isn't personal (unless we make it so). Thanks for the post.

I'm new to this business but it sounds like people become bitter when they get rejections. Instead of looking at what their work might need, it sounds like they whine like a small child. Who would want to work with someone like that anyway? Seriously, if you tell them to change the title they'll try to murder you. Best just leave them be and move on. There are far better stories, writers, and ideas out in the world begging for some love and guidance.

This is a wonderful post, Rachelle. Your ability to crank these out five days a week for...what, almost two years now?...astounds me.

As for negativity--I don't struggle with bitterness, but self-doubt. The result is the same: frustration.

I think the cure is gratitude. If I remain grateful that I have the health, resources and fortitude to write books, frustration can't take hold.

So I remember my blessings. I'm amazed at the gift of writing. I'm amazed at what putting words on paper has given me. This probably sounds Pollyanna, but it's true: even if I were told I must stop writing today, it would have all been worth it. Do I want to be published? My goodness, yes. But if I never am, I have no regrets. The hours I spent writing is where I loved God best, understood Him more fully, and met my real self. When I'm agonizing over my lack of ability and my tenuous future as a writer, I remember that. It puts things in perspective.

Pollyanna, over and out. :)

Rachelle, after being involved with the #allaboutagents chat on Twitter as well as #askagent, that was the biggest thing I took away. Everything I write on Facebook, on my blog and on Twitter is in the public eye. I even wrote a blog post about the job interview I don't even know I'm having prompted by my thoughts on the process.

Australian super-model Megan Gale was asked in a magazine interview why she had such longevity in an industry that was known for chewing up pretty girls and spitting them out as soon as they reached puberty (OK, a little dramatic, but you get my point :) Megan responded by saying she new she wasn't the most beautiful or the most talented model, but early in her career she made the decision to be the easiest person to work with in the industry and to work the hardest of anyone. I read that last year and have since adopted it as my personal motto.

Thanks so much for your blog.

Karen Collum

Rachelle, after being involved with the #allaboutagents chat on Twitter as well as #askagent, that was the biggest thing I took away. Everything I write on Facebook, on my blog and on Twitter is in the public eye. I even wrote a blog post about the job interview I don't even know I'm having prompted by my thoughts on the process.

Australian super-model Megan Gale was asked in a magazine interview why she had such longevity in an industry that was known for chewing up pretty girls and spitting them out as soon as they reached puberty (OK, a little dramatic, but you get my point :) Megan responded by saying she new she wasn't the most beautiful or the most talented model, but early in her career she made the decision to be the easiest person to work with in the industry and to work the hardest of anyone. I read that last year and have since adopted it as my personal motto.

Thanks so much for your blog.

Karen Collum

Ah! Typo alert! Knew, not new!!

Great post! Bitterness is so dangerous. I actually did a post on it a while back because I've read so many comments/posts from authors who're overwhelmed, disappointed, and on the verge of bitterness. I don't want to ever get to that place, and I'm thankful that so far in my writing I haven't felt bitter at all.
Actually, I've felt really, super thankful that all of my dealings with publishing professionals have been positive. I hope if I did meet someone and they were having a bad day, that I'd be graceful about it.
This is such a good post that writers need to hear. There's a ton of negativity out on the net. One anonymous said that there doesn't seem to be much negativity towards agents (and that it's all agent toward writer) but I disagree. Maybe I haven't seen a lot of name dropping, but I have read scary agent stories and angry comments.... Bitterness gets pretty nasty.

Hard to stay positive when agents continue to "help" writers with queryfail and blogs that constantly point out their mistakes. (Not you and Nathan--you're actually two of the few who really do help!) Most agent blogs seem to be only bragging: about their sales, their clients, and how many queries they must reject. Brag, brag, brag. Gimme a break!

Great post! Negativity is so unappealing... although I'm sure we all have our not-so-stellar moments where we vent.

I prefer to think that I'm professional enough to vent to, say, my husband, vs a perspective agent though!!

Wow! Excellent advice. I suppose it really does pay to be positive. Negativity gets you nowhere, Nova

Hmm...let's see...if I see someone being negative and I complain about them being negative, does that make me positive? If it makes me positive, then wouldn't that mean that if they complain about my negativity to their negativity then they are now positive? But if it makes me also negative, then wouldn't that mean that since they are the opposite of me that they are now positive? That being the case, does that not prove that the only way to be positive is to be negative?

I don't struggle with bitterness; like Gwen, I struggle with self-doubt. [aside] What about all those anonymous posters? Made it hard to follow the thread.

I totally agree. I was searching for fellow writers to follow and ended up on a writer's blog who did nothing but bash all the people that writer was querying. I was shocked and a little surprised. Doesn't that writer think the agents are looking at his/her blog? Wow.

Rachelle,

At the risk of being dismissed as "negative", I nonetheless feel I must speak my mind.

I find the underlying point of your post deeply disturbing.

Now, first of all, let me start with some qualifications. I would certainly agree that it is pointless and even a bit stupid to gratuitously "vent" about some person ot institution you have dealt with, even if that person or institution did in fact behave badly. That being said, I think in general there are more good reasons to speak out than to remain silent.

First, I think it is useful and necessary for a writer who has been victimized by a dishonest. lazy or incompetent agent or publisher to let others know. If nobody speaks out, those people will just go on to victimize others.

As to the publishing industry as a whole, I think that anybody who believes that it is in fine health and beyond criticism is simply not paying attention. I am very new as an aspiring writer, but I have been trying to remedy my ignorance by reading publishing industry related blogs, such as yours. The picture I get is not a pretty one.

We see an industry driven increasingly by purely economic imperatives. We see an industry that is less and less able to publish a substantial fraction of the quality work submitted to it. I'm not talking about crud-lit. I'm talking about what I hear repeatedly on agent blogs, in which an agent recounts that they personally love a piece of work but feel they cannot offer representation because "it would not sell".

This is not any semblance of a healthy industry. This is madness pure and simple. (Although to be fair, this would seem to reflect a larger malaise in contemporary culture. It is certainly not unique to publishing).

What then should one do? Remain silent in the face of this - or proclaim boldly "what's wrong with this picture"?

You ask an interesting question, that I'll attempt to answer. Why then, if that is my attitude, seek to be part of the game? It is somewhat of an oversimplification to say "it's the only game in town", but that is close to it.

I work professionally with computers. I am highly critical of Microsoft, because their operating systems are poorly designed and do not work well. But because of their market dominance, they are the proverbial 900 pound gorilla. Only a tiny minority of computer professionals - those fortunate enough to have a secure crreer in the (small) non-Microsoft segments of the industry - can hope to avoid the necessity of dealing with this company and its products.

Mainstream publishing is like this.
For better or worse, its position is dominant. If a writer hopes to find a large audience, it will be difficult not to deal with that industry.

And, I have to say, that I think the decision not to offer representation to an otherwise talented author with salable work because of "negativity" is shortsighted. Sure, if the individual is just being an ass, you may surely not wish to deal with them. But I hope I've shown convincingly that the issues at stake are larger and more complex than that.

Thanks for listening,
-Steve

Rachelle, it's rare for me to disagree with you, but to some extent, I do here.

I agree that a bitter, resentful and negative attitude is not only off-putting, but is inappropriate in business relationships.

However, the writer's job on the internet, and everywhere else, is more than self-promotion. The job of the writer is to question. That's always been the job of the writer and other artists.

It seems as though the publishing industry, however, wants to take a pass on this. They don't want writers to question, to critique, to advocate for improvements. All of that honest discourse is labled 'unprofessional.'

That's wrong. It's oppressive. But worse than that, it's self-destructive. The publishing industry is dying. It should be reading critiques and suggestions with strong attentiveness. It should welcome feedback and new ideas.

That isn't the same thing as someone who has a bad attitude, but it seems as though those two things are lumped together, and not just one, but both are heavily discouraged.

Since I'm still revising my first novel and starting my second, I haven't even begun to be involved with agents or publishers. But I recognize a word of warning when I read it. Point taken.

I can understand you criticising anonymous commentators on your site, but I prefer to remain so because my name is all over the internet. I write on the net professionally and - as you point out in your blog entry - whether or not you agree with the fact, it's true that you have to maintain a reputation just in case that decent agent ever does come your way. I agree with you that first impressions count. I also had a nasty experience with a previous agent and want to avoid getting sued by them - another reason to remain anonymous. I just want to speak up for all those hardworking writers out there who, despite all the flack and discouragement they meet with, refuse to give up. I think that deserves some credit. If they're a bit bitter about their experiences, then so what? I think it's a miracle if they not.

When I started out as a writer I was told that getting an agent was virtually impossible and that I should be humbly grateful to attract the interests of any agent, regardless of whether they were honest or professional. Soon I realised that this rosetinted view was not only ridiculous but dangerous. There are sharks in every industry (I think publishing is particularly bad for this - journalism is a much more professional industry) and the writer needs to be on his or her guard. Join an association if you can to safeguard your interests and get advice. In the UK the Society of Authors is a brilliant institution and cheap to join.

I think somebody else here made an excellent point about googling. I will definitely be googling any agents I approach and, if they show any interest, getting several references about them from other writers before I take the plunge and sign up with them. And, just like the agents googling authors, if I find that they have been writing mean, patronising blogs belittling unpublished writers, I will take my business elsewhere.

Who doesn't want to be on an agent's 'brag list' of sales? If anyone wrote a book that was included on an agent's blog we'd send that link to our mother.

The game is still in progress. If you don't follow the rules, you lose. Of course you can follow the rules and still lose, but who thinks that way? Losers? Only if they quit.

The reality I see is I'm not an agent. I don't know publishers. If I have an agent who knows publishers, and they accept my work, then I'm dancing on the roof.

In the meantime I'm going to keep grinding and thank every agent and publisher who passes on my proposals, because I'm sending them another one in good time.

Let's see . . .

My only comment I ever made about an editor (no name - just 'editor) was that she passed on a story of mine with a rather pretentious air.

That same story went on to be published and it appeared right above . . . have you guessed it yet? A story written by that same editor.

Not regret, certainly not bashing . . . but I think a taste of delightful irony.

You've said it! When I worked as a Career Counsellor, I always gave this same advice to interviewees. It does them no good to talk negatively about past employers, employees, the state of the economy etc.

Rachelle says it does no good to go negative on the publishing industry. Kimberley the former career counselor says it does no good to go negative on former employers, employees, or the economy. Every marriage counselor I've met says it does no good to go negative on marriage. They are all correct.

Where can we park the negative car before we get run over? Park it on the page; write it out; make fun of it.

I was my father in laws caregiver for years. Parkinson's had a stong grip on him. Going negative then would have added to the downward spin. Instead we made fun of Parkinson's and worked with it. It helped. Finding a way to succeed might feel like banging your head against a wall, but as long as you can take a few headaches, keep banging.

I agree with you. There is such thing called respect. There is such thing as looking at a situation in ways that are more than one sided. After all, an agent is trying to make a living by representing a book worthy of reading. And they have the right to be selective.

I know there's frustration, dialed up to high volume, felt by writers. We all want to be published, whether we deserved to or not.

Keep doing the good job. I learn a lot from reading your blogs.

Great post! Thanks for sharing :)