Complete text of incoming query:
Pasted below are the first five pages of TITLE, a romance and political satire.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Outgoing reply:
Any questions?
Complete text of incoming query:
Pasted below are the first five pages of TITLE, a romance and political satire.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Outgoing reply:
Prolific and brilliant Kate Messner has a new installment of the delightful Silver Jaguar Society series out today. These books are total romps -- actiony, fast-paced, often funny mysteries for fans of "National Treasure" and the like. I love them, and middle grade readers do, too!

Your name and agency came up as the result of extensive, rigorous search on the Internet, utilizing advanced heuristic criteria such as: “professionalism, exceptional reputation, quick turnaround, outstanding ethics and extraordinary rate of responsiveness”. A lot more agents
and agencies were discarded in the process for failing to meet one or several stringent selection requirements.
My latest novel, ‘Southerly Breeze’ affords an exclusive, insider’s look at some of the true crimes of the comrades, a Darwinian tale of survival of the ‘meanest’, where assets become liabilities on the spur of the moment and none is spared. I am uniquely qualified to write it,
as I have ‘been there, saw, it, done it’ as the adage goes. Additionally, a lot more literary savvy authors than me have pointed out, that we are just barely beginning to grasp the historical and literary implications of the Civil War, so the time to publish this historical thriller is now.
Next follows the complete text of my submission as a universally accepted Adobe PDF file:
The recent spate of queries produced a couple things that really just made me want to weep salty shark tears:
1. (C)Copyright (date). You don't need to include a copyright notice in your email query. Not now, not ever. Your work is protected without the notice and if you think I'm going to steal it, why are you querying me at all?
(2) Your comp titles are movies. This is almost never the right choice. The purpose of a comp title is to show me which readers will be attracted to your book. Thus, you need to compare your book to books.
(3) "This novel is intended for adults." You'd be surprised how unhelpful that statement is. Adults read all sorts of books from picture books to YA to academic tomes. Be specific. People who read "MAN IN THE EMPTY SUIT" by Sean Ferrell will be likely readers for this book.
Speaking of things that make my hyperventilate with desire:
I’ve been shopping my mystery around to agents. But just recently, I revisited another novel I wrote a while back and have decided it’s actually a pretty fine book. Therefore, I’m thinking of launching a parallel agent search for that book as well. But it’s not a mystery, falling instead in the women’s fiction/general literature category. My thinking was that I would see which book found a home first, and decide from there which genre to pursue. First question: Is this a wise thing to do, or will I somehow shoot myself in the foot by not focusing on one genre?
Ideally I’d like to find an agent who handles both genres, and I have in fact identified one agent who would be my dream agent in that regard (as well as several other regards). I’m currently waiting for a response from her on my query for my mystery. So second question: Is submitting a query for a second book, in a different genre, breaking some type of querying protocol? Would Ms. Dream Agent find it strange and/or annoying, or would she be impressed with how versatile an author I am?
The ‘CAT Artists’ are wishing you all a most springlike and sweet Easter Weekend…. ENJOY!
1. Your email address is someone else's name.
If you plan to pursue a career in publishing, you need your own email address. Here are some recent examples of people who look like they're doing this just for a lark:
Jim Smothers
SusanSmothers@nitwit.com
Jim Smothers
Susan@JimSmothers.com
(this one just cracked me up)
Jim Smothers
HerbertHoover@nitwit.com
2. You name someone as my client...who isn't.
I write about a lot of good authors who aren't my clients. My clients are listed on the right side of the blog, AND if you click "clients" in the post category on the left side, you'll see the posts about clients. Yes, it takes some research to get it right. That's EXACTLY the kind of thing I look for in a client.
3. You mistake my non-fiction interests, with what I want to read about in novels. My website lists specific categories or areas of interest for non-fiction. The death penalty, justice issues, contemporary music, contemporary art. Sending me a query for a novel about music because "that's one of my areas of interest" makes me wonder if you're paying attention.
4. You reference meeting me in a place I've never been.
When you tell me you met me in a place I've never been, and I expressed interest in seeing your novel it really does make me wonder about you. Honestly, I do know where I've been these past too-many years.
I'm not sure whether to laugh, rage or whack you all with a cluestick. Maybe all three.
Honestly, you'd think one of the basic things about sending a query would be to include your name, right?
Yea, I thought so too.
I've gotten enough queries recently that did NOT have a name that I though maybe y'all needed a refresher course.
Your name goes under the closing. The closing is the last sentence of your query.
Here's how it looks:
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Barbara Poelle
Now, should you be writing under a pseudonym or wish to conceal your identity at the query stage (a VERY bad idea, but what the hell) here's how you do that:
Thank you for your time and consideration,
La Slitherina
(pseudonym for Barbara Poelle)
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Inga VonPeepenskeeven
(pseudonym)
How do you know if you have it right?
Answer: Can I reply with Dear NAME: after reading your email?
If I can, you're good.
If I can't, try again.
And do NOT get me started on people who query with an email address that is someone else's name.
There's a wonderful post at Crimespree by Steve Ulfelder on Five Albums That Changed My Life. I always like getting a peek into my clients lives this way, but the real revelation was the last album.
Here's what Steve says:
Joe Ely – Satisfied at Last
"This is art by a full-grown man examining his life with, by turns, bemusement and sadness and pride. Ely lists his regrets great and small; he considers God and the afterlife; he tells stories with economy and heart. Every number is perfect.
Here’s the highest compliment I can pay: If Conway Sax, my series protagonist, were one hell of a talented musician, this is the record he would write. In fact, I hereby declare “I’m a Man Now,” the album’s next-to-last song, Conway’s theme:
Here's the text of a recent email to an editor friend of mine:
I'm just writing to confirm that you've received (title.) Our records show we sent you the manuscript on (month date) 2011.Editors prioritize how they read just like everyone else.
Five Writing Tips from Blake Bailey is a really good list.
I have a novel out with several agents, in partials and fulls. Recently, a small press offered on a different novel of mine. Would it be appropriate to email these agents and tell them that another novel of mine has an offer, even if it's a small press. I'm not looking for them to represent that novel.
Also, I know that low numbers on a self-published book can hurt an author's traditionally published book's first print run and sell through expectations. Is the same true for a previous book published by a small press?
When it comes to most things in my life, I enjoy order and high gloss. Unblemished, ripe fruit; ironed blouses; shopping lists; fresh manicures. But when it comes to fiction, give me grit and vulgarity. Give me characters who are bruised, bleeding, and broken. Show me everything that, with my combs and ball point pens, I rally to keep out of my own patch of reality.
When I read The Man Who Noticed Everything, I felt like I’d been hit in the heart bone. Over and over again, page after page, Adrian Van Young delivered the kind of fiction that I crave. It’s the kind of fiction that wakes you from a deep sleep—with a slap, not a caress—and says, “Get your fucking boots on, there’s something awful outside that you need to see.”
“The Sub-Leaser,” is more quietly disturbing than the rest of the collection and serves well as a gentle introduction. Begin with this, but when you purchase the book, be prepared for much thicker gnarls of despair, unsolvable dark riddles, and delicious agony.
I spoke last week at my local middle school for their career day. Part of my talk was given over to explaining what the heck a Literary Agent even does. And the issue of subsidiary rights came up. Now I know some of you are experts on this stuff already... but just in case you are unfamiliar, I thought I'd use the analogy I used on the kids. It's simple, and it makes sense (I hope!) and it is important.
You might think of your book as being a bunch of words in a document or on paper.
I think of your book as a rubber band ball.
The ball itself is your intellectual property. It is a real thing - it belongs to you. And it is made up of a bundle of rights.*
Each rubber band that makes up the ball is its own right. Right to publish the book in the USA? That's a rubber band. Right to publish in paperback? That's a rubber band. Right to make a calendar or an audiobook or a TV show or put excerpts in Vanity Fair or anything else? All rubber bands... that is, rights. Take SHREK for example. Publishing it in the US was a rubber band. Publishing in each country in the world, all their own rubber bands. The movie was another, the musical yet another, and lunchboxes another.
These rubber bands/rights can be sold separately, or in a bundle. Most US publishers for kids books at least consider publication of hardback, paperback, ebook, in English, in the USA, to be primary rights. It is pretty much a given that the publisher will ask for these (along with large print, book club editions, and other editions of the same book.)
All other rights are "subsidiary" rights, also known as "subrights." We can often negotiate to keep audio, film/tv, merchandise/commercial, and (hopefully) world English and foreign rights. EVERY book theoretically has all these rubber bands, though of course, some books are more likely to USE them than others ... "Guns Germs and Steel" is probably not going to make it to the lunchbox aisle at Target anytime soon. ;-)
And as for foreign rights, while it is TOTALLY COOL to sell them, not every book, quite frankly, is suitable for foreign tastes. Some books are deemed "too American" -- books about school, or specific types of pop culture, can be losers for other countries -- and of course every country has their own trends and preferences. The economy plays a part too; many territories are very choosy about what they bring on and only want topics or authors they know will be sure-fire hits, so they stick to big names.
Point is: It is the publishers job to get as many of the rights as they can, for the least amount of money they can. It is your AGENT'S job to keep as many rubber bands as possible, and get the best deal possible for the ones they do sell. If the agent keeps the rights, they then can sell the rights themselves and the client keeps all the profit (less agency commission of course). If the publisher keeps the rights, then THEY sell them, and split profits with the author (it goes straight to earning out your advance, though, until you've earned out at which point you get that percentage.)
The Bologna Book Fair is coming up next week, and that is where many hardworking foreign rights specialists will be pitching their books like mad, hoping their author's books will make it onto bookshelves in other countries and languages! It is an extremely interesting and rewarding fair, and I hope to have updates and fun news from it on twitter.
Hope this was a bit useful! Let me know if you have questions, I may or may not have answers.
* ETA: The obvious conclusion, which I should have stated in the first place: The ball itself is worth something. And each rubber band is worth something, too. Be sure you know what you're throwing when you throw it.
Here's the confidentialy notice on an email from CuriosityQuills, a small publisher.
CURIOSITY QUILLS SECRECY NOTICE: This e-mail message, including any attachments, is top secret. Any unauthorized viewing, use, peeking or telling is prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient, SWAT teams are already on the way to cart you off to a detention center. Or, perhaps, a salt mine.
I’ve noticed that FUN is contagious! One of my artists is a real wiz at doing constant and adorable ‘little ditties’…. little “moments” in a single image that tell a bigger story. She can not stop herself…they jump out of her head at any time, and require her to draw them. Or so she tells me!
Well I wish all of my artists did this…and it’s a wonderful promotional idea for all artists, thus my sharing this phenomena. In fact, I was prompted because she has been offered a couple of book jobs lately (and other publishing interest as well) due to one or more of these ‘little ditties.’ And that pleases us no end! The artist is Priscilla Burris and many of you know her…. if not through SCBWI, then through her blog and well, her ‘ditties!’ And yes, she is just like her loveable characters. Priscilla hasn’t always done this, but in recent times she has been taken over it would seem….and it’s a good thing! Think about it all…. let those characters and their stories OUT! it’s spring…let them bloom.
During the process of polishing my novel to query agents, I employed a professional editor. Should I include this information in my query? If so, to what extent?
I loved this post by Marcy Campbell. It reminded me that we all start at the same place with this whole word thing.
ChumBucket is one of my favorite things. I love the option of talking to writers directly, maybe giving them some help on their queries or some insight on why their novels aren't for me.
We had 25 rounds where every person who replied adhered to our social contract not to reply with something insulting.
That ended Saturday night.
I had kind of hoped it could go forever. I know it was unrealistic, I did. But I work in publishing. I'm all about unreality.
The reply wasn't vituperative but it's the kind of thing that makes me cranky:
And I'm sorry to say you sort of confirms my impression of literary agents. You're never satisfied and nothing seems to be good enough for you.
I don't mean to be rude and I'm not saying this to hurt your feelings.
My options for writing now are either to stop altogether or to self-publish my book/s.
Elegantly plotted and exquisitely written, Safe From Harm is the second in Stephanie Jaye Evans’ Sugar Land Mystery series. It’s the first thing by Evans that I’ve read, but the prologue alone was enough to earn her a spot on my list of must-read authors. Safe From Harm is a devastating tale of jealousy, greed, vengeance, and betrayal, and the havoc these sins can wreak when they’re unleashed on an unsuspecting suburban town.
to pry me out of New York, but I'm absolutely in love with a project by my friend Ed Champion. He's going to WALK across America. Really!
This idea appeals to me on so many levels. I love the idea of walking...the earliest, most humble mode of transportation known to us humans. I love the idea that he'll really see what's out there in so many different places.
I've driven across the country four times and each time found new things to admire and enjoy, but America at 75mph is much different than what Ed will be doing.
I have one, non-related question
How come Query Shark entry #242 shons only a blank page?
Was it an April Fool's Joke?
It shows for me. You might try refreshing your browser, or pasting in this link: http://queryshark.blogspot.com/2013/03/242.html
If anyone else has problems, let me know, ON THE QUERYSHARK blog of course.
I did not understand the picture, but the query is concise, to the point, and does not waste your time with a lot of yaddayadda about plot and character.
Does that mean the picture is a "yes, send the whole MS?"
One question: Is the dog female? (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)
No questions. I completely get the pimp slap. That query is an epic fail on multiple levels. Except for thanking you for your time.
Nope, no questions. Only a *snort* of laughter.
I think TITLE is a funny name for a book, don't you ?
You did NOT really send just that, did you?
Hilarious!
Though I am mildly curious as to what a romantic political satire might look like. (MILDLY.)
I almost just peed because I laughed so hard. Thank you.
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Can't. Stop. Laughing. Best blog post of the day.