Children's Publishing Blog: StoryMonster

2. Peach Tree Parable

By: Heather Dixon, on 2/25/2013
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My buddy Chad told me a story the other day, which I thought was pretty good & wanted to share.

Chad's neighbor is an older fella, and he has a giant peach tree on the side of his yard. One of the branches hangs over the fence into Chad's yard.

Mostly the peaches from the overhanging branch fell into Chad's yard or his kids would sometimes eat them.

The old neighbor didn't really like this and so one day when Chad was getting home from work, the old guy was like, "Where are my peaches?"

And Chad was like:

And the old neighbor was like, "You've been here nearly three years and you've never brought me a basket of peaches from my tree. So what have you been doing with the peaches that hang over your yard?"

An Chad was like, "Oh. I didn't realize we were supposed to be picking them. They just fall onto the lawn or my kids eat them

or whatever."

And the old guy was like,

"That's called STEALING!"

And Chad was like,

"Ok."

So he promised to let his kids know and they wouldn't be taking the peaches anymore.

Unfortunately one day when Chad was away, the kids decided to eat the peaches. The old neighbor saw them and kind of had a fit.

In fact he was so mad, he had the branch hanging over Chad's yard cut down.

So it looked like this:

And when the peaches grew, the tree kind of overbalanced, since the other branch wasn't there

And it broke

And it died

And to this day, the old neighbor still blames Chad for killing his tree.

Bad luck old boy.

I feel I ought to apologize for letting this blog get dust on it. I've sort of overbooked myself by working two jobs and rewriting a book(s?) and I miss the old thing. But never fear, I'll soon be back to my regularly scheduled shenanigans!

16 Comments on Peach Tree Parable, last added: 3/5/2013

Emily said, on 2/25/2013 7:57:00 AM

This is a GREAT story. And I love Chad's face(s).

Heather said, on 2/25/2013 8:41:00 AM

Hooray for karma! (And for a new blog post!)

Drew said, on 2/25/2013 9:26:00 AM

Ooooold peeeeeoplllle... I would have been like, did you know that your tree is taking up my property space? That's called STEEAALLIIINNGGG! Ha ha ha, but I'm glad to see another storyboard story from you!

WASPart said, on 2/25/2013 1:23:00 PM

OH YEAH!! Coolio . . . I totally dig it.

Jenilyn Collings said, on 2/25/2013 3:36:00 PM

Heather, you have the best blog posts! I love it. :)

Anonymous said, on 2/25/2013 6:28:00 PM

That sounds like something my grandmother would do, only more passive-aggressive than the old man was.

LinWash said, on 2/26/2013 5:12:00 AM

I'm always glad to see you back. But I'm especially glad if you're rewriting a book, because I would love another book by you! Great story! Poor Chad having to put up with that man! He was so gracious.

Rose Green said, on 2/26/2013 7:34:00 AM

That's sad. My in-laws live on a street where everyone's fruit hangs over everyone's fence. So the neighbors on one side get my in-laws' apricots and my in-laws get grapes growing over the fence from the other neighbors. It goes all the way up and down the street, and everyone gets along. Poor Chad. Poor tree! And poor old guy for not realizing what he's missing.

But ooooh--excited to hear of book progress!!

Aaron Ludwig said, on 2/26/2013 12:32:00 PM

Good story, Sister Dixon! :D

Lilliasaid said, on 2/26/2013 1:14:00 PM

And thus an important lesson was learned about the consequences of being a stingy old meany....by everyone except said meany. Sheesh.

Cindy Garber Iverson said, on 2/26/2013 1:50:00 PM

What a great story with an important moral to it. I love your multiple blank stare frames of Chad's face. Awesome!

Chad Hutchings said, on 2/27/2013 8:08:00 AM

HA! This is great Heather. I hope my neighbor never stumbles upon this post...or I'm really in for it.

Anonymous said, on 2/28/2013 8:03:00 PM

That exact same thing happened to me once! Except the guy was young... and it was an apricot tree.
Poor Chad! Yet, it is still oddly amusing.

AinaMoraiwe said, on 3/2/2013 8:31:00 PM

Poor peach tree, you were just caught in the middle!

Brooke said, on 3/4/2013 2:43:00 PM

NEW BOOOOOOOOK?!?!? Can't wait!

Johanna said, on 3/4/2013 7:06:00 PM

This is true, isn't it. Wow.

3. Grapefruit Juice

By: Heather Dixon, on 12/30/2012
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Last week my sister invited me over to her apt for dinner and since I love food I said yes and came over and sat on her sofa and watched her youtube.

Anyway while I was sitting there secretly eating her chocolate orange and she was in the kitchen cutting up vegetables I heard her say:

Sure enough they did look kind of fuzzy.

I told her to just cut off the fuzzy bits. (That's what I do.)

And it tasted great!

...until 2 am that morning...

dun dun duuuuun!

I took a 2 am bubble bath where I could sit in a confined space and think about nothing except how bad my tummy hurts. Sometimes that helps.

I also poured myself some grapefruit juice to drink because a cupful of acid is great thing to drink when you feel nauseated.

For some reason I didn't drink it, and went back to bed and forgot about it.

And so it stayed.

Thru' rain and shine

It didn't move

That cup of mine.

...3 days later...

FOOOD!!!!!

And here is what I drank, from my pov:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!

New Years Resolution: Don't leave food out for days on end, and then try to eat it. This should be easy for me, since I'm never going to eat anything ever again.

15 Comments on Grapefruit Juice, last added: 1/25/2013

Faunice said, on 12/30/2012 9:02:00 PM

This is disturbing on so many levels, but I still love your ability to tell a story.

dixon.mary said, on 12/31/2012 2:20:00 AM

I'm feeling sick now...

LinWash said, on 12/31/2012 5:40:00 AM

Shouldn't laugh at your misfortune. But I did, because of your ability to set the scene. Oh my. I feel like sending you a gift card to a good restaurant!

Amber Sarno said, on 12/31/2012 11:37:00 AM

But the poor starving children in Africa! Don't waste food!

Lol joking, of course. Great story. Love the scene with just your eyes peeking out of all the bubbles.

Cindy Garber Iverson said, on 1/1/2013 2:41:00 PM

I'd say that a fantastic New Year's resolution right after "I will not eat something once it's sat on the floor for over 5 seconds".

Keisha O. said, on 1/2/2013 11:59:00 AM

Hahaha!!!! This is hilarious!!!! This was a great story. I would have done the same except I probably would have broken the cup XD

Johanna said, on 1/2/2013 7:05:00 PM

Shut up and drink it. It's just some extra protein...

Peter said, on 1/8/2013 9:33:00 AM

Fun Fact: The average American eats about 11 lbs of chocolate per year. That equates to about 3 cockroaches a year.

CUPCAKES4EVER said, on 1/8/2013 4:09:00 PM

This is hilarious! I love your pictures too.

raych said, on 1/16/2013 6:42:00 PM

So, like, a year ago I read Entwined and was all, Grrrrr, Heather Dixon should have written more things so that I had a backlist to pillage. But I have just discovered your blog RIGHT NOW, so, you know, carry on doing this sort of thing.

(But also rite moar books. Por favor.)

estetik said, on 1/17/2013 8:49:00 PM

Really got great experience & knowledge from your blog.. thanks for sharing..
Estetik

Yüz Germe said, on 1/18/2013 9:55:00 PM

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You are a Great while writing in the blogs it is awesome I liked it too much good and informative thanks for the sharing.
Yüz Germe

Burun Estetiği said, on 1/19/2013 12:38:00 AM

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Crystal Smith said, on 1/23/2013 8:33:00 PM

I laughed so hard I cried and then mascara got in my eyes and it hurt so I cried some more. Oh my heck, so funny. Don't even know why, but SPIDER. lol

Writing Junkie said, on 1/24/2013 3:59:00 AM

do you draw all this stuff yourself? :O

It's adorable!!
This looks like it will be a cute read!! I'll try to get my hands on it! :D

https://www.facebook.com/amabaduofficial
and
http://the-writing-junkie.blogspot.com/

I review books and try to promote writers :) Why? Because it's fun!

4. New header

By: Heather Dixon, on 12/25/2012
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...because it's about time!

detail

17 Comments on New header, last added: 1/23/2013

5. Pain meds

By: Heather Dixon, on 11/11/2012
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A couple of weeks ago I had surgery, which is why I haven't posted in a while. I'm doing much better now, though, thanks to my mom--she's been nursing me back to health.

I haven't really been aware of everything she's done, because I've been here:

Pain meds. I could kiss them on the mouth.

I've come up with some really neat dreams, which I'm going to share with you right now. For example, I've thought up a new Disney Channel pilot!

Let's sing a bauble song!

Also, puppies falling down elevator shafts.

Why do I hate puppies so much? Why??

The most recurring dream is taking a road trip through the Yukon. And I mean, the Yukon Yukon. Like, the North Pole Yukon.

I always seem to be driving a big, ugly white van with a bad transmissions.

There's got to be something deeper to these dreams. I'll figure it out soon...right after I figure out where Mom put all my hoodies.

* * * * * * * *

In other news...

here's what I dressed up as for at Halloween!

neat-o :D I have to say though I'm kind of disappointed by how many people didn't know who I was. I mean, I thought this guy was canon. o_o Oh well.

Luckily my nieces and nephews are a well-versed in 60s musicals and I freaked them out :D :D The lollipops, though...man, they really wanted those lollipops.

Good thing we don't live in Vulgaria.

10 Comments on Pain meds, last added: 12/2/2012

6. Auntie Maude Lin

By: Heather Dixon, on 10/17/2012
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Have I told you I love Halloween?

10 Comments on Auntie Maude Lin, last added: 11/4/2012

7. Fishing

By: Heather Dixon, on 10/7/2012
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I kind of have a weakness for giant stores like Costco and IKEA and Home Depot. There's really nothing wrong with the world if you can buy pringles in cans the size of grain silos.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I went to one of those home improvement stores. Like always, I had to ask for help...

ME: So, I'm looking for a tool box. Or actually a tackle box maybe. You know, like something with small adjustable compartments for sorting, you know, little tiny things that you want organized. Um, you know?

I must have let my Girl show, because he was like:

"Hobby Lobby has bead organizers next door."

And I was like:

ME: So does this mean I can't use the forklift?

I left broken-hearted and empty-handed. (Apparently you need a license to run a forklift? WTHeck?)

As I was leaving, I was stopped at the entrance by a couple of eager boy scouts...

I couldn't say no. They were too cute.

Ok, they weren't that cute.

...but their reaction was priceless.

They were still scuffing the ground when I left the parking lot. All I can say is, I envy the scout leader who's taking them fishing. He's going to be majorly entertained.

7 Comments on Fishing, last added: 10/26/2012

8. Speedpaints & a link

By: Heather Dixon, on 9/3/2012
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They're good practice.

On an unrelated note, I was digging through my stuff this weekend and found a class handout. It was tips on how to be creative, <--which you can read there. It was an interesting read, if you sometimes get depressed with creative stuffs you might enjoy it.

Unrelated; along with the handout I found some of my old college transcripts. They aren't my complete transcripts though, I know this because on finals week of my very last semester, I parked in a G lot instead of a Y lot so I could make the test on time and "forgot" about parking enforcement.

Note: They do ticket on finals week.

I tried to pay the ticket online several times, but the site kept on giving me an error sign. Eventually I gave up, moved away, ~~changed my name~~ and forgot about it.

Wouldn't you know it, a month or two later I got two letters from the school in the mail.

The first one was from parking services and it was written in blood.

The second one was...you guessed it.

The diploma.

And so it goes. Technically, since I still owe it, I can't get my full transcripts. This has been a real problem since all my employers have been really concerned with my GPA. Eventually I may have to pay it or the evil monster of compound interest will rear it's gooey head in 50 years and tell me I owe $3,450,000...which actually will only be about $35 in today's money so...ok.

11 Comments on Speedpaints & a link, last added: 9/19/2012

9. Not to OD you...

By: Heather Dixon, on 8/29/2012
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Another one :)

I've been doing a bunch of freelance illustrations in this style, so I decided to try it on my favorite persons. D'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw.

9 Comments on Not to OD you..., last added: 9/14/2012

10. Our Favorite Person

By: Heather Dixon, on 8/21/2012
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What do you know...she's mine too!

10 Comments on Our Favorite Person, last added: 9/8/2012

We all know how I feel about "fun" runs, darn it!

11. 4th of July 5k

By: Heather Dixon, on 8/8/2012
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A couple of weeks before the 4th,

my mom gave me a call.

MOM: Our city is having a 5k on the 4th and I'm doing it but I'm sort of worried I might come in last and I really don't want that to happen. Will you do it with me?

ME: Sure. You bet.

MOM: Really?!?

ME: Sure.

ME: What's a Fivekay?

MOM: (explains what a 5k is)

ME: WHAT?

MOM:

Not to mention, my schedule's been like this:

I haven't been outside in months!

But mother birthed me and all, so I woke up at 4 am and dressed all cute

and did my hair all cute and drove to my old home town, West Point.

The starting line was packed.

Luckily I found my mom.

The horn sounded, and we were off in a cloud of dust!

Pretty soon everyone had run ahead.

Pretty soon my own mother had run ahead.

Pretty soon I reached the half mile mark and

I realized I wasn't going to make it.

Fortuitously enough, the race route was just passing a road...

...that just happened to lead to my parents' house...

SNEAKY

Luckily I had a key :)

I used the bathroom...

...checked my phone messages...

...ate some watermelon in the big bowl on the counter...

It wasn't too long before I saw the runners making their

way back to the park.

I figured it was time to skedaddle.

Admittedly, I didn't exactly burn the rubber

off the soles of my shoes.

When I finally turned the corner to the finish line,

I was met with this:

Well that didn't make me feel guilty at all.

I ended the race at a run, leaving behind

a great big steaming wake of CHEAT.

30 minutes later, my mom found me.

Apparently she'd discovered me missing in the middle of the race.

What do you know. She won 2nd place.

(She owes it all to me)

Afterwards there was a raffle where I won a Striders

t-shirt, ballcap, and decal.

So now everyone can know just how much I love to run!

THE END.

PS If you haven't seen a West Point parade, here is a taste of the joy

(watch it 45x for the full parade experience):

It has the two best t's in the world: Tractors and Taffy. Yesss baby!

0 Comments on 4th of July 5k as of 1/1/1900

Anonymous said, on 8/9/2012 4:53:00 AM

Congrats for doing an event I will never do!! (Not really that athletic, haha) Illustrations were perfect! (as usual!)

LinWash said, on 8/9/2012 5:25:00 AM

I am DYING laughing!!!! I will have to look back at this post a few times at work, where I always need a good laugh.

Aaron Ludwig said, on 8/9/2012 5:47:00 AM

They should change the official course to include a stop at your parents' house (for a bathroom break and watermelon eating contest). Now THAT would be a fun run!

dixon.mary said, on 8/9/2012 7:43:00 AM

Love it.

You looked great running, btw.

I wonder what Mom has to say about this post...

Jules said, on 8/9/2012 8:43:00 AM

Hahahaaaaa...I love all these illustrations.

Elizabeth Struk said, on 8/9/2012 10:18:00 AM

I was having such a rough night...
It was a real treat to find your blog post!! GREAT STUFF!!

On a side note, I ate a turkey sandwich today and thought of you! :)

Missy Dixon said, on 8/9/2012 11:03:00 AM

Once again I am getting weird looks at the library for laughing out loud! This was great! I'm still shaking with laughter although quieter now.
You are a genius!

Kate said, on 8/9/2012 11:10:00 AM

Heather, seriously, your blog makes me so ridiculously happy. I can't stop laughing and I want to frame the drawing of you and the watermelon.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Thank you

Amanda said, on 8/9/2012 11:14:00 AM

Love it, as usual! (Don't know if you're a Back to the Future fan, but I totally thought of this clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6SEXp3-lo8 )

Em said, on 8/9/2012 11:22:00 AM

Love love LOVE this blog! Thanks for sharing! It made me laugh so hard!

Drew said, on 8/9/2012 12:23:00 PM

And wouldn't you know it, just this morning I was thinking you hadn't posted in a while, and how your presence on Facebook is noted and missed. YAY for a new post!

LLOL! I love these stories so much. Mom vacuuming the mansion and you working through the night are genius.

As an avid runner, this post amuses me, especially since I certainly did NOT used to be a runner, avid or otherwise. But seriously Heather, if this ever happens again... don't wear your flip-flops. The right footwear makes all the difference in the world. :)

The Andimator said, on 8/9/2012 8:15:00 PM

Hilarious, so funny I posted it on Facebook!

Also, my family and I attempted to watch "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" the other night, and didn't make it any further than "Toot Sweets." Guess it's not the right movie for the Petersons.

Ann Dee said, on 8/9/2012 9:14:00 PM

You are hilarious, Heather.

Nasan Hardcastle said, on 8/10/2012 9:05:00 AM

Haha! Your storyboards always make me laugh. I look forward to every one.

Eric and Jill said, on 8/10/2012 1:24:00 PM

That's such an awesome story. I had a friend who was in the army in WWII and he told me a story similar with him hiding in a bush throughout the rest of the laps. Its great to know people have fun and congrats to your mom for second! That's awesome!

Nathan Lindsay said, on 8/10/2012 3:12:00 PM

hilarious. great story and fantastic drawings Heather.

perkyhandmaiden said, on 8/11/2012 1:37:00 PM

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
HAHAHAHAH! Bahaha! Haha! ha!

Keisha O. said, on 8/11/2012 2:20:00 PM

This is hilarious!! Thanks for telling this story!

Alisa Selene said, on 8/12/2012 6:25:00 AM

I loved this..I think it is my second favorite with the 'Turkey Sandwich'..so funny..and totally what I would have done!

12. MeRpigram

By: Heather Dixon, on 7/24/2012
Blog: StoryMonster (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
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* * * * * * *

I remember an internship mentor once telling me that when a character wants an object, they turn their eyes first, then their head, then they reach out and grab it. I thought that was interesting.

5 Comments on MeRpigram, last added: 7/27/2012

9 Comments on Family Fotos, last added: 7/11/2012

13. Family Fotos

By: Heather Dixon, on 7/7/2012
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Family photos are...weird, right? You have .002 seconds to act relaxed, stare at the camera and smile before you all dive in and try to murder each other. Your chances of getting a good family photo are less than winning the lottery. My gosh, how did we live without Photoshop??

Lately I've had a fling with Pinterest and've noticed all the helpful photo tips. I took a picture, once, so I thought...why not? Behold!

6 FABULOUS FAMILY FOTO TIPS

And all for free!

#1: Never underestimate cardboard cutouts.

My goodness! Look at all those well-behave and well-dressed children! You are amazing!!

#2: Try for different camera angles, like staring down at it.

You can tape it above the baby's crib so he will never be lonely!

This works especially well if you all dress like Satan.

14. Eyvind Earle speedy, & an excellent short

By: Heather Dixon, on 6/29/2012
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Because, why not.

* * * * * * *

If you haven't seen it, this is very, very good.

"The Invention of Love," by Andrey Shushkov.

Gosh, this is good. Especially thematically. Did you notice:

2 Comments on Eyvind Earle speedy, & an excellent short, last added: 6/30/2012

15. Grownup

By: Heather Dixon, on 6/20/2012
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Being a grownup is like a month full of Fridays, oreos, and crustless sandwiches. Yesssss baby

7 Comments on Grownup, last added: 6/22/2012

16. Speedpaints

By: Heather Dixon, on 6/17/2012
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A screencap recording I did, for the speedpaint blog:

Sometimes I feel so lucky to be living in the world right now...the internet has so many resources to pull from, and I've learned so much from digital mediums like photoshop and painter...I'm reminded of one of my favorite songs, Beautiful Things, by Leslie Bricusse--

The world is full of beautiful things, butterfly wings, fairy tale kings

And each new day undoubtedly brings still more beautiful things

The world is dipped in delicate dreams, sparkling streams, lullaby themes

Where every flight of fantasy seems filled with beautiful things

ya...I'm a lucky kid.

here are some speedpaints :)

5 Comments on Speedpaints, last added: 6/20/2012

17. Merida and the Three Bears

By: Heather Dixon, on 5/29/2012
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Some shameless Brave fanart.

(I'm looking forward to the movie.)

Triplet boys? That mom is SO LUCKY

8 Comments on Merida and the Three Bears, last added: 6/2/2012

18. SPIdEream

By: Heather Dixon, on 5/20/2012
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6 Comments on SPIdEream, last added: 5/21/2012

19. ¡Norteamericanos Frívolos!

By: Heather Dixon, on 3/25/2012
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I ran into this reality show the other day

and even though I've only seen 2 episodes, I already know it's up there with this

and this.

I HAVE NEVER SEEN SO MANY POOFY DRESSES IN MY WHOLE LIFE!!!!

It's very addicting. Here's a taste why:

A bride-to-be is looking for the perfect dress for her wedding. She goes to a famous dress store and meets the consultant, who's going to help her pick out the dress.

Lucky for the consultant, the bride has brought some people to help. Her mom, dad, fiance, siblings, fiance's siblings, cousins, bridesmaids, bridesmaid's cousin...

Who all look like this.

Without fail.

And the bride is like, "and I won't be happy unless they aaaaaaaaall love my dress every single one!"

So they go into the dressing room and try on the dresses. (This is my favorite part.) (It's just like Barbie!!)

19 Comments on ¡Norteamericanos Frívolos!, last added: 3/28/2012

Siiri said, on 3/25/2012 11:37:00 AM

You just made me laugh out loud. :D

Leah Cypess said, on 3/25/2012 1:02:00 PM

I am HIGHLY OFFENDED by the implication that ability to find one's car keys is in any way related to IQ. Failure to make car keys that emit beeping sounds when you call the manufacturer to let them know you've lost them? THAT is an IQ issue.

That said, I eagerly await Part 2.

Claire said, on 3/25/2012 1:10:00 PM

ahh you're posts make me happy. this is all TOO TRUE! I look forward to part two... ;)

Brooke said, on 3/25/2012 1:34:00 PM

Is "Dresses Dresses Dresses" the real name of that show? 'Cause I wanna SEE IT NOW.

Heather Dixon said, on 3/25/2012 3:40:00 PM

@Brooke - The show's real name is actually "Say Yes to the Dress"...which rhymes, which is why I love it SO MUCH

@Leah - I have this crazy idea to invent car keys that shock a person if they're not found within 5 minutes. I'm pretty sure it would make ME more careful about where I put my keys. For realz.

Linnzy said, on 3/25/2012 4:48:00 PM

Hahahaha sound like it's that show that runs on TLC, my mom watches it sometimes, I glance at it and just want to strangle the brides....and their relatives.....

Heather said, on 3/25/2012 5:30:00 PM

Oh wow! Please tell me there's tons of crying and bridezilla meltdowns! It sounds as awesome as this other girly show I just discovered: Super Best Friends Forever. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7ging4Nqww

Eagerly anticipating parte dos de Norteamericanos Frivolos...

Gabby Zapata said, on 3/25/2012 6:39:00 PM

Hahahaha oh man. I am very guilty of watching several seasons in a row >_> I can't help myself!.. *there's a whole bunch of episodes of Say Yes to the Dress on netflix streaming!* This made me laugh.

Keisha O. said, on 3/25/2012 7:28:00 PM

Haha! This is hilarious! The suspense has got me so I want to start watching that show!

Debbie Barr said, on 3/25/2012 7:31:00 PM

Believe it or not I have been watching many episodes of this show lately, as it is on Netflix and I have been making a lot of earrings lately.

Loved your pictures. SO TRUE.

Just don't forget the quaint moral at the end about finding "The Perfect Dress."

Also all grooms love their Bride's dress when they see it! Imagine that!

Little Katie said, on 3/25/2012 8:56:00 PM

I'd almost watch if it wasn't wedding drama dress city. Working in a place with so many wedding, I don't care for bride zillas and also being snubed out of dress shops because I want to look and not buy bitters it.

By the way, I am now hooked on Barbie princess movies and now in the project of making a big puffy princess dress. I decidet it to you.

Nathan said, on 3/25/2012 9:18:00 PM

oh god. That Nooooo panel just about killed my poor lungs!

Heather said, on 3/25/2012 11:36:00 PM

Yes, another comment from me-- I had to say I just noticed the chainsaw. Awesome. The angry mob is my favorite.

--Hey said, on 3/26/2012 8:49:00 AM

ahhhh Heather.. I love you. thank you for making me smile.. yet again. Especially after being told by 4 year old... "can we live in a fun house.." I reply cheerily "we do live in a fun house" Lee replies back " no, we don't..." well poop on him... blah. Leave it to kids to ruin all our grown up fun. ; )

LinWash said, on 3/26/2012 12:32:00 PM

Oh gosh! I laughed out loud. At work! I'm supposed to be working, rather than reading your blog!
I eagerly await part 2.

Brant Moon said, on 3/26/2012 5:55:00 PM

"I HATE DAT DWESS"
Clutching my sides

Drawings are looking great, Heather.

Margaret Marshall Moon said, on 3/26/2012 11:23:00 PM

Ha,ha, ha... fantastic!

You know your punch line is perfect if Brant is having a clutch his sides laughing moment. If this were a movie, he's be replaying, "I hate dat dwess," for the next 40 min with the same fresh reaction... every... play...

So good job!

Ramona said, on 3/28/2012 5:43:00 PM

I completely understand this! I watch Say Yes to the Dress alllll the time and every single episode is like that! I laughed very hard.

Or there is the ones where the mom wants the poofy dress and the daughter wants sexy! hahah so good!

Caitlin said, on 3/28/2012 8:48:00 PM

This is so hilarious that it almost makes me want to watch the show. But since it will probably never be as funny as I HATE DAT DWESS!!, I'll stick to haunting your blog. :D

20. ¡Norteamericanos Frívolos! (Dos)

By: Heather Dixon, on 3/31/2012
Blog: StoryMonster (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
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Recap:

Bridetriestofindtheperfectdress,triesonabillion,everyonehatesthemuntilshefindsTHEONEwhicheveryonelovesuntilthe3yearoldwhoforwhateverreasonrunsthingsaroundthereandruinseverything,focushandheldcamonworriedbridesmaidyoutubeteaserendsHeatherfreaksout.

Heather buy the episode on Amazon.

The consultant doesn't know what to do.

The consultant recruits the help of

Head Consultant.

The Head Consultant knows...

everything.

He nods and listens and then he says:

"But what...

...is it that

...YOU want?"

And the bride is like:

Interview with Head Consultant:

14 Comments on ¡Norteamericanos Frívolos! (Dos), last added: 4/4/2012

Kaelvas said, on 3/31/2012 3:55:00 PM

XD I love your interpretation.

Johnson Family said, on 3/31/2012 4:29:00 PM

For sure similarities between the ring and the spider. You make me laugh!!!

Jenilyn Tolley said, on 3/31/2012 4:41:00 PM

I totally see the resemblance. But which one do you want? The spider or the ring?

Nathan said, on 3/31/2012 5:04:00 PM

Why must she choose, Jenilyn? WHY MUST SHE CHOOSE?

Missy Dixon said, on 3/31/2012 5:06:00 PM

Ok, I know this series you are talking about and I feel the same way. Unfortunately as annoying and repetitive as the show is, it is also addicting. It's like you have to keep watching to see if all the episode really are the same and if the dresses will change any time soon.
Very funny. I laughed. a lot.

April G said, on 3/31/2012 6:43:00 PM

Freaky spider makes my skin crawl. The ring is shiny- Oooh so shiny!

Your rendition of reality tv shows. Spot on. :)

Heather said, on 3/31/2012 7:01:00 PM

"The Madam Leota of Anxious Brides". Love.

And I love how you worked in the "friovlos" with the angry children throwing limp tortillas. So great.

Now that you mention it, that ring does kinda look like a spider.

Claire said, on 3/31/2012 9:10:00 PM

AUGH! SPIIIIAAAAAUGH!!!

Brent said, on 3/31/2012 10:17:00 PM

I think we caught an episode of this on vacation once. They were having a marathon, actually. We were three hours late to dinner...

Melanie said, on 3/31/2012 10:56:00 PM

Looks more like arachnias deathicus to me.
You should totally order that ring on Amazon!

(foralimitedtimeoffernosubstituionsorrfundsmustpayshippingandhandlingsubjecttoservicecharge)

P.S. I think it's official-we're moving into the basement with you guys.
DUN DUN DUNNNN.

It's about to get loud.

Rico Jackson said, on 4/1/2012 10:20:00 AM

THAT LAST ONE JUST SCARED THE HOLY TACO OUT OF ME

Caitlin said, on 4/1/2012 7:48:00 PM

do a part III! pleeeeeeaaaaase??? :)

Keilah Engstrom said, on 4/1/2012 9:04:00 PM

BAHAHAHAHA!!! I haven't laughed this hard in ages. THANK YOU!! Yes! Oh my word... so funny! Seriously: "$5,00 for a dress?!!! Ooo! I think I'll watch just one more..."
Click.

I. Love. This.

Heather Zundel said, on 4/4/2012 8:54:00 AM

Madam Leota! Lol! Perfect!!! *tears*

And that ring looks like it NOW. Holy cow, I will never be able to look at a ring like that again. Watch, you'll see me running and screaming out of a Morgan Jeweler's one of these days and YOU'LL KNOW WHY.

21. More of those picture thingies

By: Heather Dixon, on 4/4/2012
Blog: StoryMonster (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: cinemagraph, Add a tag

1 shot, 2 different takes:

This second one, I like it better I think.

^^I'd've been happier with this one if I'd planned better. I took it just before a massive downtown conference, so you can see the reflection of a bunch of people walking by. My photography skills aren't so glam, so...humble pie.

(I still enjoyed doing this)

9 Comments on More of those picture thingies, last added: 4/7/2012

22. Family Fun Run

By: Heather Dixon, on 4/15/2012
Blog: StoryMonster (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
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My aunt is in charge of her school's Fun Run again this year, so I threw together some t-shirt designs for it. I'm pretty sure they'll go with this one:

...but I really hope they pick this one.

This one might be too much to hope for.

12 Comments on Family Fun Run, last added: 4/17/2012

23. Howl's moving Moving Castle

By: Heather Dixon, on 4/25/2012
Blog: StoryMonster (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
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A fanart of "Howl's Moving Castle," by Dianna Wynn Jones, a book I really enjoyed. I thought since it was about a moving castle, it'd be cool to actually make the castle move.

It's part of a blog memorandum for the author, Diana Wynne Jones. Original post on the Greenwillow blog, here. This was a lot of fun to try.

The process (in pictures):

Etc.

The more I think about animated gifs, the more I think we've only brushed the surface of their potential. No one seems to consider them much of an art form, but I think (I hope) we're slowly breaking out of that...like, cinemagraphs, and I know that Carrie Liao and Anthony Holden are doing some creative stuff. Also, this guy...

Good gravy, how awesome is that? Kevin Weir. Click on this link...you won't regret it.

8 Comments on Howl's moving Moving Castle, last added: 4/27/2012

13 Comments on , last added: 5/9/2012

24.

By: Heather Dixon, on 5/6/2012
Blog: StoryMonster (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
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Presenting:

Thing:

There was this guy dressed as the grim reaper

dancing on the sidewalk with a scythe and a flag.

Here's a closeup.

Sitting by him was a dude playing the ukulele.

There wasn't an open case in front of him and

it's not tax season anymore, so they were probably protesters.

I don't know what they were protesting, but I totally want in.

THING:

I was driving down the freeway last weekend and there was a cop

in the far right lane, going really slow with his lights flashing.

When I passed, I saw why...

d'aaaaaaaw!!!

Gemma McCulloch said, on 5/6/2012 1:09:00 PM

That is indeed the BEST song from the BEST movie ever!!!

Elissa Sussman said, on 5/6/2012 3:14:00 PM

The woman was probably just disappointed that you were singing all three parts. I bet she wanted to play Cornelius.

Caitlin said, on 5/6/2012 5:35:00 PM

hahaha AWESOMENESS!!

Peter said, on 5/6/2012 7:15:00 PM

This is why you have that 'Caution Driver Singing' license plate frame on your car. You're good.

Jess Ramos said, on 5/7/2012 6:03:00 AM

you're right, BEST MOVIE EVER!

LinWash said, on 5/7/2012 8:24:00 AM

Once again, you made me laugh out loud at work. I have got to stop reading this at work. My boss is getting suspicious.

Aaron Ludwig said, on 5/7/2012 9:21:00 AM

I bet that's what the reaper/ukulele combo were singing too.

Drew said, on 5/7/2012 12:28:00 PM

I loved this post very much and literally LOLed. And yes, I sang aloud with the song as I read about your experience.

(But I do have to say, and I'm sorry about it, that the words are "...and I'll never let you fall.")

Rico Jackson said, on 5/7/2012 1:01:00 PM

Oh goodness, Jacquimo is my favorite bird in the world, and my favorite song is

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbkD8ropzG0

LeishaMaw said, on 5/8/2012 11:39:00 AM

That was awesome. :) I've received that look from neighbors many times. One even told me, "You know we can hear you, right?"

Ahhh, good times.

Julie said, on 5/8/2012 12:13:00 PM

I love that song and sing it all the time, but it just occurred to me, perhaps my singing that song out loud in public is why all our neighbors are putting their houses up for sale! I guess I need to show them the movie so that they can sing it too!

Heather said, on 5/9/2012 10:37:00 AM

Um, no one has mentioned the geese on the freeway. I think I probably would have slipped into some kind of cuteness-overload coma if i saw that.

And, wow, Thumbelina. I'd forgotten about that show until now. I remember watching it while babysitting forever ago (like 15 years ago - yikes) and the parents came home before it was over. I thought about renting the video (yes, video) to finish it, but didn't because I knew all my brothers would make fun of me. Thank you for letting me see how it ended all these years later... :)

Heather Dixon said, on 5/9/2012 3:22:00 PM

@ Everyone - I KNOW RIGHT! Thumbelina is gangstah. I should have had her sing along.

@Drew - Your knowledge of girly princess movies puts mine to shame :D Totally right.

25. Mr. Binnacle and Admiral Boom

By: Heather Dixon, on 5/13/2012
Blog: StoryMonster (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
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I'd like to have them for neighbors.

6 Comments on Mr. Binnacle and Admiral Boom, last added: 5/16/2012