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Viewing Blog: So many books, so little time, Most Recent at Top
Results 26 - 50 of 4,088
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Author of the young-adult thriller Shock Point, as well as five other mysteries and thrillers.
Statistics for So many books, so little time

Number of Readers that added this blog to their MyJacketFlap: 35
26. Haven't I see you someplace before? Dueling covers of mysterious girls in the same color palette

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Unknown  Thanks to @ShiploadofWilco for the tip!

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27. Happy Birthday, Mom!

Nora Henry earily 1950s
Nora Henry earily 1950sMom red hat
















Today would have ben my mom's birthday.  This is what I said at her funeral on October 26th:

My mom was no ordinary mom.  I think sometimes she wanted to be ordinary, she wanted to blend in, but that wasn’t how God made her.  She was tall, she was an extrovert, she followed her heart, she spoke her mind.

She taught me so many things, but three were most important: to laugh, to listen, and to love.

Mom had a crazy sense of humor. I remember one April Fool’s Day I watched her pour cat food into the cat’s dish.  She said, “You know, this actually looks pretty good,” shook some in her hand, and ate it.  It turned out it was a new cereal that she had noticed looked a lot like cat food.  She had put the bag inside an empty box of Friskies.

Back in July, mom was hospitalized for three days.  A few days after she was discharged, a nurse called to follow up. My mom was in the bathroom and so I answered and started talking for her. Figuring the nurse would want to talk with her directly, I handed her the phone when she came out .

The first thing she said - and mind you, she knew this was a stranger - was "Help! Help! They've got me tied up in a closet and they're not feeding me."

A week or so before she died, we were talking about how everyone has something at their core. Mom said she realized hers was to listen. She made friends everywhere she went, and it didn’t matter if they were young or old or homeless or rich. She loved meeting new people. A few months ago we went for a walk in the Eastwood Cemetery.  She was so weak that she only made it a few feet inside the entrance. But then a young woman she had never talked to walked by. And of course Mom perked up and learned all about her.  It completely rejuvenated her.

And finally, Mom was all about God and about love.  And for her the two were the same.  When I go back and look in my emails, there are dozens from her that have the word “love” in the subject line. She said love is the only thing, that love is all there is and that’s plenty.

I’m going to try to be more like mom - to laugh more, listen more, and love more.

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28. Haven't I seen you someplace before? Dueling covers of Italian coasts

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I feel like Jess's book cover was seen so many places and is so iconic that even though the author of the second book IS Italian, it's just too similar.

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29. 5 things on a Friday

Samuel Henry1. This is my great-grandfather, Samuel Henry, born in 1840.  The picture on the right I found on Ancestry.com and was taken in 1897.  The picture on the left is from a box of photos my mom left behind when she died.  It says postcard on the back, and when I googled it I found out how to tell it was from 1904-1918.  Samuel died in 1912.  I wondered if it was the same guy, and once someone pointed out to me the eyebrows, I realized one of the photos must be flopped.  What a fun discovery.



2. I just got a a really good haircut from someone who cuts curly hair dry. Now I see what that's recommended.

3. When I got back to my car, I passed a parking meter guy on a bike.  I was 10 minutes overdue and the yellow ticket was on my windshield.  He voluntarily turned his bike around, came back, and said he would not cite me this time - that it was just a warning.

4. I started a new book that's due soon, and I feel anxious and like I don't know what I'm doing.  I should be in the groove - I NEED to be in the grove - but instead I feel like it's not going to be very good and how will it get done.

5. I am loving kung fu. Where else can you learn how to dislocate someone's shoulder, or do knife drills with a real knife?  I'm even learning to be okay with being thrown.  Slowly learning.

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30. Writing no matter what

Tonight I will turn in a book to my editor.  It's the second in the Point Last Seen series, which will start with The Body in the Woods (releasing June 17, 2014).

This book was written under the most extreme circumstances.

It was written in hotel rooms and on airplanes.

Mom red hatIt was written when I moved back home for a month to take care of my mom after she went on hospice. (It was not written   very well at that point, I think.)

It was written in coffee shops. 2013-12-28 11.30.16

It was written in cars (when I was the passenger).

It was written when I was sick of it.

It was written I should have been sleeping.

It was written in the hospital while listening to Half Moon Run's Full Circle (and trying not to listen to other people on the ward with Alzheimer's or detox or psych issues).



It was written.

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31. Haven't I seen you someplace before? Dueling covers of words in women's profiles

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Unknown Bride of New France

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32. It's my write-aversary!

file4411334714768Six years ago today was my very last day working for someone else.

I had spent years writing books on the side (my first was published in 1999) while working full-time in public relations for Kaiser Permanente. I had been working for a variety of someone elses since I was 14 and started babysitting. My past jobs included everything from making pizzas to making change, from translating German to a one-time stint jumping out of a giant faux cake at some guy's 40th birthday party.

I had published six books and was wondering when I was ever going to be able to quit my day job, when I hooked up with a television personality and we got offered a four-book deal for an adult mystery series. While my share of the advance was not a huge sum of money, at the same time I knew I would never see that much in one place ever again. It felt like it was then or never. So I gave notice. My agent called it, "Sailing your boat out into the middle of the ocean and setting it on fire."  (She was with a big agency and went out on her own, so she knew what she was talking about).

And on this date six years ago, I packed up my emergency makeup (I occasionally dealt with the media), my snack stash (I was known for having a steady supply of pretzels), my family photos, and the cup where I kept spare change. I said goodbye to a lot of folks and tried not to think too hard about whether I was crazy to quit when the stock market had lost 40 percent of its value and I hadn't actually signed the contract yet.

But you know what?  It has worked out. Of course, it hasn't been all sunshine and lollipops. Thank God I've got health benefits from my husband, but everything else I pay for out of pocket (like retirement) or simply don't have.Two years ago was the first year where I made more than I did at my day job. In 2013, I made substantially more.  At the same time, I've learned that money doesn't always come in when you expect it, counted on it, planned for it.  There have times when I have done the math and wondered exactly how we were going to pay the mortgage. And there have been times when I have gotten money I wasn't expecting at all.

It all tends to work out, although sometimes not before you've curled into a fetal position.


I've had eight books published since I quit, including Girl, Stolen, The Night She Disappeared and The Girl Who Was Supposed to Die.  Two more will publish this year, including The Body in the Woods. I've got contracts for more. There have been movie options, foreign sales, and books chosen for the Scholastic Book Club, the Junior Library Guild, and many state reading lists.

And I am so much happier!! All day long I get to kill people (or at least make them worried they might be killed) and it is so much fun. And if some of those people occasionally bear a passing resemblance to an old boss or annoying co-worker, I’m sure that’s a coincidence...

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33. I get to write an episode for Zombies, Run!



I love all things zombie. 28 Day Later. 28 Weeks Later. I've been a fan of The Walking Dead since the first TV show aired. And I love, love, love Zombies, Run!  It's a phone app that let's run for your life from a horde of zombies. You can use it walking or on a treadmill, but I use it to run. You listen to a story line that's interspersed with your own music.  My favorite part is that you can turn on zombie chases which require you to run 20% faster for a full minute or the zombies close in.

I was listening to a mission on Friday.  The game is set in and taped in England, and in this episode, they had made contact with some survivors in Canada. The person on the radio said that pre-zombie-apoloypse she had been a writer and poet. Then she identified herself as Margaret Atwood, which made me laugh out loud in the middle of my early morning dead quiet neighborhood. I just figured Margaret Atwood was enough in the public eye they felt they could borrow her, but the more the person "playing" Margaret Atwood talked, the more I thought it was actually her. I went home and googled it and it was her!

So I tweeted about it and Naomi Alderman, the co-createor and lead writer for Zombies, Run (and also a novelist, which is how she knows Atwood) replied and asked me if I would like to write an episode.  You could see how long I took to think about it:

Zombies Run Twitter

And yes, the fact that I am running means I am back up to speed, health wise.  I am banned from sparring for two more weeks, but I am running (with some walks, because three weeks off your feet is hard to recover from), grappling, doing weapons works, and doing everything kung fu but sparring.

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34. Some random things on a Saturday

Wrong wayI am so, so, so behind.

I have an event every week or so for the foreseeable future. I also have two novels due by the end of April. One exists as only a four-page outline. There'a third novel I told my editor I would write this spring.

On Wednesday, my leg started acting up again - it felt tight and looked red. (I spent three days in the hospital between Christmas and New Years after having been diagnosed with cellulitis which kept getting worse.)  As you can image, this development frightened me. I got an appointment with my doctor, but was so resigned that I packed a bag for the hospital before I went to her office.

Instead, she said she was rethinking the idea it was cellulitis.  (Because I "failed" so many antibiotics, the hospital had deemed it MRSA cellulitis.)  She must have pulled every string she had, because within the next four hours I had an X-ray, a dermatology consult, a biopsy, an MRI, an orthopedist consult, and blood work.

I'm now up to having had 12 doctors weigh in on this. The new theory is that I had traumatic panniculitis (which resolves on its own with no treatment) and that I never had cellulitis at all.  If that's true, I didn't have to spend three weekPeely handss in bed with my legs elevated, have five antibiotics, have two drugs for the side effects, and even now, two weeks after I had IV vancomycin, be watching the skin on my hands peel off.

But hey, I am alive! All my latest test results look good. I'm slowly building my strength back up in running and kung fu (although I am wearing shin guards to protect whatever it is I have wrong with me). I have kids writing me every day. I have editors out there who want what I write.


And spring is coming.

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35. What age is this book for? Dueling covers for the same book

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I saw Lucy Christopher had had a third book published.  Judging by the reading level, it's meant for slightly younger readers than her other books - ages 10 to 14.  I saw both of these covers on Amazon.  It's interesting how nearly the same background - although the swan is closer the the blues are different - can send a much different message depending on the age of the girl depicted.  I would say middle grade for the one on the left and YA for the one on the right. 

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36. Haven't I seen you someplace before? Dueling titles and dueling covers of girls in the woods

Unknown Unknown Unknown-1
Unknown 9780062257390 TheBodyintheWoods high res cvr

Starting to wonder if Australian writer Lucy Christopher and I are somehow related.  Like she had a book come out around the same time as Girl, Stolen, only it was called Stolen. When I first saw mention of it, I freaked out because the title was so similar and I wondered if the plot would be, because it was also about a kidnapped girl. (Not to worry - it's very different and very good.)

Now she has a new book that just came out called The Killing Woods.  And my June release is called The Body in the Woods.  Thank goodness my jacket designer did not play off the whole "woods" motif, since that seems to be over done.

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37. Merry F'ing Christmas

My theory is I am getting all of the crappy stuff out of the way this last quarter of the year so that I can have a great 2014.  All of it's been personal stuff, not writing stuff.

First there was hitting those dogs when the homeless kids let go of their leashes.

Then my mom dying.

Then there was this past week.  Monday I went for a 5-mile run.  Halfway through, this badly bruised shin I got from a shin clash in kung fu three weeks earlier started aching. Then really throbbing.  By the end I was limping.  In the afternoon, it seemed swollen and red.  I thought it might have been a blood clot.

Tuesday I went to Urgent Care and ended up in the ER where they did an ultrasound (negative) and hung IV antibiotics and diagnosed cellulitis.

Wednesday was Christmas and everyone was closed.

Thursday I was at my doctor's.  My leg did not seem to be getting any better.  She switched up antibiotics.

Friday I felt pretty good.  My leg seemed to be getting better and I had more energy. My husband and I decided to go to Pok-Pok, this famous Portland place that usually has huge lines.  He was already in the neighborhood having a beer at this place he likes.  The plan was I would park near there and he would drive us both to Pok Pok, about 20 blocks away.


I get there, see his car parked on this nice empty stretch of street and decide I'll park in front of him.  Only there was a tow truck about 20 feet ahead of him that seemed to be leaving.
I go around in a big square, come back, and the empty stretch is even emptier - Randy's car is gone!  It turns out that even though the sign says 2-hour parking, there's another sign above it (turned at a slightly different angle) that says "No parking 4-6 pm M-F."

Since I have just parked there, I need to move my car before I'm in the same spot. I get in my car, go around the corner, and there's the tow truck, adjusting something on Randy's car.  There's a tow fee plus a parking ticket  I told Randy his beer better have been really good, since it cost $250.
That night, my leg situation goes downhill.  Saturday was another day of UCC and ER, only it ended up with being hospitalized.

The only other time I've been in the hospital was to have a baby.  Now I'm getting IV antibiotics every 12 hours.  It's hard to sleep. I'm pretty much the only person on this ward without dementia/detox/psych issues and a bed alarm, which means it sounds like a truck backing up all night. With the occasional break to trick you into thinking it's finally stopped. Another patient on this floor is making this terrible noise like a tortured sheep - "maa, maa, maa." There's the one with a sort of sleep apnea snore, the one who kept throwing up and groaning, and then the time the nurse down the hall was saying, "Let go of that! Let go! Let go!" and then calling out "Can someone help me?"  You would think they would have better soundproofing at a hospital.

I am getting better, but I won't be able to go home until tomorrow.

I figure 2014 is going to be a great year!
photo 3leg dec 26red leg

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38. A bunch of stuff on a Sunday

Nora Henry earily 1950sapril early 30

1. Grief
Grief over my mom's death has not grabbed me in a few weeks. At it's worst, I found myself vowing I would never love anyone again, because it hurts too much to lose them. And then of course I found myself thinking that would make an interesting premise for a book.  Although I'm sure it's been done many times before.

2. Family ties
After my mom died, I took this little chest that was in her bathroom.  There was a note taped inside that said "Great Grandpa Chapman's chest. The problem was I had no idea who he was and no one I could ask.  I knew it had to be my great grandma Myrl's dad.  But who was he?  Far too many hours on Ancestry.com later, I figured out it was Thomas Chapman, 1838-1913.

Chapman chest front
I had fantasies my great-great grandfather handmade this chest, but I've found one just like it on ebay.  Still curious how old it is.

Myrl Chapman
This is my great grandmother, Myrl, in 1957.  She was 73, and lived until 1971.  She "took to her bed" sometime before this picture was taken.  I was recently given recollections written by her daughter, and it turns out she homesteaded and lived in a  sod house.  It all sounded very Little House on the ...-ish, except it it turns out it happened around 1920.  Didn't realize people were still burning buffalo chips and such that recently.

Thomas Chapman
Her dad, Thomas Chapman, 1938-1913.

3. Life of crime
Nora Kennedy Clowers (Craig) abt 1900
My great-grandmother, Nora Kennedy Clowers, in 1900. She met her husband to be, Barney, when she was a cook at a logging camp where he worked.  He was about 20 years older than her.


They had four children, including my grandmother Dorothy.  Things were tough. Plus Barney kept getting in trouble with the law.
Dorothy ClowersBarney Clowers threatens
The dolls belonged to the photographer.

At one point the kids were split up.  The 1920 census lists my grandmother as a 10-year-old boarder, living with people who did not share her last name.

Finally, great-grandma filed for divorce.
Clowers files divorce

Not sure if they got divorced, but a few years later, Barney was sentenced to prison, named part of an arson gang.
Barney Clowers Insurance adjustor 1920
Barney Clowers colorful

Barney died in 1924 at Ft. Stillacoom.  I had thought it was a prison, even though my mom always said he died of alcoholism in some kind of asylum.  It looks like it was really a place where they kept the insane.

Great-grandma Nora went on to marry twice more.  

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39. Haven't I seen you someplace before? Dueling covers of missing eyes

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imagesUnknown-2

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40. Five things on a Friday


  1. Just learned that one of my ancestors was charged with "pig bewitchment" in 1656.  He was found not guilty. So I am one of the few people who can definitely say I am NOT descended from a pig bewitcher.

  2. If you are looking for a free way to make your own website, I highly recommend Weebly.com.  I update mine all the time.  So nice not to have to go through someone.

  3. 1480665_552497488169058_1899979008_nIt was so cold on my run this morning! 24 and blowing snow. Found myself wishing for a baclava, then realized I meant balaclava. Thank goodness wishes aren't granted. Like what if I wished for a neck gaiter but got the wrong kind?

  4. I feel like I am behind on everything: email, two book deadlines, sorting out my parent's stuff.

  5. At the same time, I need to make more time for reading. It's one of my greatest pleasures, so why I am trying to live on 20 minutes a day?

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41. Haven't I seen you before? Dueling covers of girls and compartments

Unknown-1images

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42. Haven't I see you someplace before - dueling covers of floaty hair and/or curled girls

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Reminds me a bit of:

as well as:
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43. Haven't I seen you someplace before? Dueling covers of running girls

A friend pointed this out to me.  The second is coming out next summer - which might be why it's labelled "cover not final."  I think it's too close to the Searles book.

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44. Five Things on a Friday

1. I'm going to the Houston Teen Book Con next April!

2. A movie producer who tried hard to make one of my books into a movie years and years ago is back and still interested.
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3. I'm going to watch the last of the Forsyte saga tonight. I watched the rest with my mom while she was on hospice.  She had seen it before, but she still loved it. We also binge-watched the entire first season of Homeland. I feel like I spent that month with Damian Lewis as well as my mom. I miss her every day and cry most days.

TheBodyintheWoods high res cvr4. The cover of next summer's book, The Body in the Woods, is gorgeous.

5. I'm loving kung fu and hoping to test for my purple sash soon. I've been going to all the classes, even grappling.  Even weapons.  And I'm still the only woman in our school who spars (although that will change soon, I think.) 

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45. So much for Abnegation

Screen Shot 2013-11-15 at 6.26.56 AM

Just watched the trailer for Divergent.  Here's a screen shot of the main character when she is in Abnegation, the sect faction dedicated to selflessness and forgetting oneself for the sake of others. For example, they never look in mirrors.

Must be hard to glop on all that mascara with no mirror. Not to mention it doesn't seem very selfless....

I have to admit I'm a Hunger Games girl myself.  

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46. Haven't I seen you someplace before? More dueling covers of basement stairs

Who wants to go down in the basement?


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51De45tPOXL._SY300_

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47. What I said at my mom's funeral

It was so hard to stand up and speak these words, but I managed to make it through without breaking down. I think I have cried more in the days since she died than I have in all the rest of my life put together.

My mom was no ordinary mom.  I think sometimes she wanted to be ordinary, she wanted to blend in, but that wasn’t how God made her.  She was tall, she was an extrovert, she followed her heart, she spoke her mind.

She taught me so many things, but three were most important: to laugh, to listen, and to love.

Mom had a crazy sense of humor.  I remember one April Fool’s Day I watched her pour cat food into the cat’s dish.  She said, “You know, this actually looks pretty good,” shook some in her hand, and ate it.  It turned out it was a new cereal that she had noticed looked a lot like cat food.  She had put the bag inside an empty box of Friskies.

Back in July, mom was hospitalized for three days.  A few days after she was discharged, a nurse called to follow up. My mom was in the bathroom and so I answered and started talking for her. Figuring the nurse would want to talk with her directly, I handed her the phone when she came out .

The first thing she said - and mind you, she knew this was a stranger - was "Help! Help! They've got me tied up in a closet and they're not feeding me."

A week or so before she died, we were talking about how everyone has something at their core. Mom said she realized hers was to listen. She made friends everywhere she went, and it didn’t matter if they were young or old or homeless or rich. She loved meeting new people. A few months ago we went for a walk in the Eastwood Cemetery.  She was so weak that she only made it a few feet inside the entrance. But then a young woman she had never talked to walked by. And of course Mom perked up and said hello and learned all about her.  It completely rejuvenated her.

And finally, Mom was all about God and about love.  And for her the two were the same.  When I go back and look in my emails, there are dozens from her that have the word “love” in the subject line. She said love is the only thing, that love is all there is and that’s plenty.

I’m going to try to be more like mom - to laugh more, listen more, and love more.

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48. 11 reasons I love kung fu

If you were ever going to predict that someone was going to love martial arts, you would not pick me. I have always been a klutz.  I was scared of the uneven parallel bar and the balance beam and pretty much any ball ever thrown my way. I hate conflict. I made my high school boyfriend leave a WWF fight he took me to. I am not physically brave. The only Cs I ever got were in PE.

But somehow, a cardio kickboxing class I took at my gym morphed into kakjukenbo - and I liked it! And then when that fell apart I went looking for a real school, and started taking kung fu almost two years ago.

Right now I'm taking classes 5-7 hours of class a week.  Why do I like kung fu so much?

1. It makes me feel strong.
2. I like being the oldest person at my school.
3. I also like being the only woman who spars (although that's going to change soon).
4. I now know how to fight back if I ever get attacked.  Yes, even if I end up on the ground.
5. I'm still not coordinated but practice, practice, practice has helped tremendously.
6. For one or two hours at a time, I don't think about anything else.  I just focus on kung fu.
7. It makes me feel bad ass.
8. It's been very useful for writing thrillers.
9. I like hanging out in a room full of guys. It's like eavesdropping, only I don't have to hide.
10. I have even come to enjoy grappling.  For a long time I thought: No way am I going to roll around on the floor with some guy on top of me and you can't tell me that wrapping my legs around his waist is a good thing.  It seemed like it would feel way too rape-y.  What I've found is that it is the most physical thing I've ever done - but it's not personal at all.
11. It's fun!



Kung Fu sparringKung fu Grappling Screen Shot 2013-11-07 at 4.18.28 PM

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49. The last six weeks in Google searches on my phone

This last month has been hard, hard, hard.

I flew home from New York on September 12. I spent 11 hours at home, then drove down to my mom's, four hours away.  She had chosen to go on hospice.  She died around midnight September 30.  She died exactly as she had wanted, and she had been in poor health for a long time. I have heard from dozens of people about how she helped them over the years, giving of herself, of her time and even her money (not that she ever had much).

And I tell myself that no one can live forever.  Still my grief is sometimes as raw as a wound.


  • What happens if lightning strikes a plane (when we were kept on the tarmac for hours in New York)

  • Rich soil crossword clue (helped Mom cheat on crossword, but she didn't know it)

  • Forsyte Saga (Mom and I watched all but the last episode, Someday I will watch it.)

  • Hope is the thing with feathers (when I found a little feather)

  • How long can you go without eating (Mom chose to stop)

  • Save iphone voicemail (because there's one from my mom)

  • AC joint sprain (really should not throw yourself into a kung fu shoulder roll)

  • Shimmy in steering wheel (had to have the car's brakes fixed the morning of the funeral)

  • Papa Murphy's coupon (all us kids had pizza at Mom's house, and she was all about coupons)

  • Milk glass (someone wanted to know if Mom had any)

  • Bible verses mourning

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50. Walking - or crawling - through grief

Hank Nora wedding dayMom red hatmom and frank
My mom died around midnight September 30. But she had been having heart problems for years. I remember coming home from college in 1981 and she was wearing a Holter monitor because of an irregular heart beat.  She had her first heart attack in 1997. When I heard the news, I was peeling apples for an apple pie.  I fell to my knees and sobbed, still clutching the peeler. She described it all as an adventure, and told me that she had always wanted to be pushed down a hospital corridor at full speed on a gurney, watching the lights in the ceiling slide by.

Her health slowly declined. She had a second heart attack in 2011. Her world got smaller, but her attitude never did. She made art of all kinds.
2013-10-08 15.43.042013-10-05 15.03.002013-09-24 11.07.39

She visited her "shut ins" even though she herself was older than some of them. She loved meeting new people, and still took walks in the historic cemetery in our neighborhood.  She knew everyone who walked, ran, or smoked pot there.  I remember when I was there in June.  She was so weak - her heart was working at about 25% capacity - that she had to sit on the nearest tombstone and didn't think she could go any farther than 20 yards from the entrance.  But then a woman with a dog came walking by.  Mom had never seen her before, so of course she greeted her and asked all about her life.  Meanwhile the dog had gotten down on its belly and was whining, looking right at mom. Finally the woman said, "This is so strange. My dog never does this, but she really wants to come to you." The dog crawled over to mom and rolled over while mom petted her.

By the time she had found out all about the young woman's life, she had gotten her energy back, so we walked al little further.  When we stated down a hill, we saw some creepy homeless-looking guys riding kid's bikes.  One blew his nose in the dirt.  I was disgusted, and worried yet ready to defend my mom from these guys.


While I was thinking all this, Mom was calling out, "Kenny!!" They hugged and grinned at each other.  And Kenny was introducing her to the other guy as his friend Nora. He looked like a meth addict or an ex-addict, with missing front teeth and a bad sunburn.  It was clear he loved my mom and my mom loved him.

2010-09-15 09.43.09 2013-10-12 14.50.34
For years, my mom has been dying on the installment plan.  She was ready to die. We were ready for her to die. There was nothing unsettled, nothing unsaid. She thought it was funny when her fortune said, "You will soon change your present line of work" and kept it. When I took care of her while she was on hospice, she told the nurse, "Last night my heart was chattering like a magpie, and I thought 'Whee!'" She was disappointed that it hadn't happened. And then it did.

My dad died in 2003, but he had Alzheimers, and by the time he wasn't himself.  In 2011 I lost three good friends to cancer. I've never lost a husband or a child.

This has hurt way more than I ever thought it would.  I am so glad I had her in my life.  I tell myself that you can't expect to have your mom forever.  And I didn't!  But it still hurts.

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