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Viewing: Blog Posts Tagged with: Megs Diary, Most Recent at Top [Help]
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26. 9/11 Post

Every year teachers let me know that this post has become part of their classroom 9/11 curriculum, so I will continue to post it every year. Here it is, for those who weren’t around that day:

Meg’s 9/11 Diary

9/11/2001 was one of those rare days where sloth was rewarded. I know several people who are still alive today because they were late to work that morning, or stopped to get coffee to help them feel a little less groggy.

I got woken up in my apartment on 12th Street and 4th Avenue by a phone call from my friend Jen.

“Look out your window,” Jen said.

That is when I saw the smoke from the first plane.

I called my husband’s office first thing. I couldn’t see his building from our apartment, but I could see the building ACROSS from his, which was the Trade Center, and black smoke was billowing out of it.

“What was happening?” I wondered.

Jen didn’t know. No one knew.

Was he all right? I knew he worked on a really high floor, and it looked as if whatever had happened to that tower across from his, it had to be happening right in front of his office window.

I couldn’t get through to him. I couldn’t make any outgoing calls from my phone that day. For some reason, people could call me, but I couldn’t call anyone else.

It turned out this was due to the massive volume of calls going on in my part of the city that day.

But I didn’t know that then.

Sirens started up. It was the engine from the firehouse across the street from my apartment building. It was a very small firehouse. All the guys used to sit outside it on folding chairs on nice days, joshing with the neighbors who were walking their dogs, and with my doormen. The old ladies on my street always brought them cookies.

9/11/01 was a very, very nice day. The sky was a very pure blue and it was warm outside.

Now all the firemen from the station across from my apartment building were rushing out to the fire downtown.

Every last one of them would be dead in an hour. But none of us knew that then.

I turned on New York 1, the local news channel for New York City. Pat Kiernan, my favorite newscaster, was saying that a plane had hit one of the towers of the World Trade Center.

Weird, I thought. Was the pilot drunk? How could someone not see a building that big, and run into it with a plane?

It was right then that Luz, my housekeeper, showed up. I’d forgotten it was Tuesday, the day she comes to clean. When she saw what I was watching, she looked worried.

“I just dropped my son off at his college,” she said. “It’s right next to the World Trade Center.”

“My husband works across the street from the World Trade Center,” I said.

“Is he all right?” Luz wanted to know. “What’s happening down there?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I can’t reach him.”

Luz tried to call her son on his cell phone. She, too, could not get through.

We didn’t know that our cell servers used towers that were located on top of the World Trade Center, and they all had stopped working.

We both stood there staring at the TV, not really knowing what to do. It was as we were watching that something weird happened on the TV, right before our eyes: the OTHER tower — the one that hadn’t been hit — suddenly exploded.

I thought maybe one of the helicopters that was filming the disaster had gotten too close.

But Luz said, “No. A plane hit it. I saw it. That was a plane.”

I hadn’t seen a plane. I said, “No. No, how could that be? There can’t be TWO drunk pilots.”

“You don’t understand,” Luz said. “They’re doing this on purpose.”

“No,” I said. “Of course they aren’t. Who would do that?”

That’s when Pat Kiernan, on the TV, said, “Oh, my God.”

It’s weird to hear a newscaster say, “Oh, my God.” Especially Pat. He is always very professional.

Also, Pat’s voice cracked when he said it. Like he was about to cry.

But newscasters don’t cry.

“Another plane has hit the World Trade Center,” Pat said. “It looks as if another plane — a commercial jet — has hit the World Trade Center. And we are getting reports that a plane has just hit the Pentagon.”

That’s when I grabbed Luz. And Luz grabbed me. We both started to cry. We sat on the couch in my living room, hugging each other, and crying as we watched what was happening on TV, which was what was happening a dozen blocks from where we sat, where both the people we loved were.

We could see things flying out of the burning buildings. Pat said that those things were people.

That’s when my phone rang. I grabbed it, but it wasn’t my husband. It was his mother. Where was he? she wanted to know. Was he all right?

I said I didn’t know. I said I was trying to keep the line clear, in case he called. She said she understood but to call her as soon as I heard anything, and hung up.

Then the phone rang again. It was my husband’s sister-in-law. Then it rang again. It was MY mother.

The phone rang all morning. It was never my husband. It was always family or friends, wondering if he was all right.

“I don’t know,” I kept telling them. “I don’t know.”

Luz went up to the roof of my building to see if she could see anything more from there than what they were showing on New York 1. While she was gone, I went into my bedroom to get dressed (I was still wearing my pajamas).

All I could think, as I looked into my closet, trying to figure out what to wear, was that my husband was probably dead. I didn’t see how anybody could be down in that part of Manhattan and still be alive. All I could see were things falling —and people jumping — out of those buildings. Anyone on the streets down below would have to be killed by all of that.

I remember exactly what I put on that day: olive green capris and a black T-shirt, with my black Steve Madden slides. I remember thinking, “This will be my Identifying My Dead Husband’s Body outfit. I will never, ever wear it again after this day.”

I knew this because when I worked at the dorm at NYU, we had quite a few students kill themselves, in various ways. Every time a body was discovered, it was so horrible. All the people involved in the discovery could never wear the same clothes we wore that day again, because of the memory.

Luz came back down from the roof, very excited. No, she hadn’t seen if the buildings in which my husband and her son were in were all right. But she’d seen thousands — THOUSANDS — of people coming down 4th Avenue, the busy street I lived off of at the time. 4th Avenue is always crazy crowded with honking cars, buses, taxis, bike messengers, you name it.

Not today. Today all the cars and buses were gone, and the entire avenue was crowded with people.

“Walking,” Luz said. “They’re WALKING DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET.”

I ran to look out the window. Luz was right. Instead of the constant stream of cars I’d gotten used to seeing outside our living room, I saw wall to wall people. They had taken over the street. They were coming from the Battery, where the Trade Center is located, shoulder to shoulder, ten deep in the middle of the road, like a parade or a rally. There were tens of thousands of them.

There were men in business suits, and some in khakis. There were women in skirts and dresses, walking barefoot or in shredded pantyhose, holding their shoes because their high heels hurt too much and they hadn’t had time to grab their commuter running shoes. I saw the ladies who worked in the manicure shop across the street from my building running outside with the flip flops they put on their customers’ feet when they’ve had a pedicure (the flip flops the staff always make sure they get back before you leave).

But today, the staff was giving the flip flops to the women who were barefoot. They were giving away the flip flops.

That’s when I got REALLY freaked out.

The manicurists weren’t the only ones trying to help. The men who worked in the deli on the corner were running outside with bottles of water to give to the hot, thirsty marchers. New York City deli owners, GIVING water away. Usually they charged $2.

It was like the world had turned upside down.

“They have to be in there,” Luz said, about her son and my husband, pointing to the crowd. “They’re walking with them, and that’s what’s taking so long.”

Then Luz ran downstairs to see if anyone in the crowd was coming from the same college her son went to, anyone who might have seen him.

I was afraid to leave my apartment, though, because I thought my husband might try to call. Not knowing what else to do, I logged onto the computer. My email was still working, even if the phones weren’t. I emailed my husband: WHERE ARE YOU?

No reply.

A friend from Indiana had emailed to ask if there was anything she could do. At the time, the only thing I could think of was, “Give blood.”

My friend, and everyone she knew, gave blood that day. So many people gave blood that there were lines around the corner to give it.

After a month, a lot of that surplus blood had to be destroyed, because they didn’t have room to store it all. And there turned out to be no use for it, anyway. There were few survivors to give blood to.

My friend Jen, the one who’d woken me up, e’d me from her job at NYU. Fred (out of respect for this person’s desire for anonymity, I have changed his name here), one of Jen’s employees, and also a volunteer EMT, had jumped on his bike and headed downtown to see if there was anything he could do to help.

Jen herself was organizing a massive effort to set up shelter for students who didn’t live on campus, since the subways and commuter trains had stopped running, and the kids who commuted to school would have no way of getting home that night. Jen was trying to arrange for cots to be set up in the gym for them.

She ended up staying in the city too that night. She had no way to get back to her house in Connecticut.

Another co-worker from NYU, my friend Jack, did manage to reach his spouse, who worked in the Trade Center, that day. Jack used to train the RAs. He would ask me to “interrupt” his training with a fake administrative temper tantrum — “Why are you in this room?” I would demand. “You never reserved it!”— and then he and I would “fight” about it, and then after I left he would ask the RAs what would have been a better way to handle the situation . . . and by the way, did any of them remember what I was wearing? After they’d tell him, he’d have me come back into the room, and point out that every single of them was wrong about what I’d had on. This was to show how unreliable witness testimony can be.

Jack’s wife had just walked eighty floors down one of the Towers to reach the ground safely, only to realize the guys in her IT department were still up there, backing up data for the company. Once she reached the ground, and saw how bad things really were, she tried calling them to tell them to forget backing up and just COME DOWN, but couldn’t get hold of them.

So she went back up to MAKE THEM come down, because who doesn’t love their IT guys?

Why did you go back up?” Jack asked her, when he finally reached her. By that time she, along with the IT guys, had become trapped in the fire and smoke.

“It seemed like the right thing to do,” she said. Of course it did. She was married to Jack. Jack would have done the same thing. She told Jack to say good bye to their twins toddlers for her. That was the time they spoke.

I can never think of this, or of Jack’s happy, cheerful greeting every time I saw him, or the stunned looks on the RAs faces when they realized we’d pulled one over on them, without wanting to cry. It seems so unfair.

Another friend, a pilot who had access to air traffic control radar, e’d me to say all the planes in the U.S. were being grounded — that what had happened had been the result of highjackings. That it was a commercial jet that had hit the Pentagon, where my friend’s father-in-law worked (they eventually found him, safe and sound. He’d been stuck in traffic on his way to the Pentagon when the plane hit).

But another friend – a girl I’d worked with when I’d been a receptionist in my husband’s office, a girl whom I’d helped pick out a wedding dress, and who, since the big day, had quit her job to raise the four kids she’d had – wasn’t so lucky. She never saw her husband, who worked at the Trade Center, again after he left for work that morning.

Then, behind me, I heard Pat Kiernan on the TV say, “Oh, my God,” again.

And this time he really WAS crying. Because one of the towers was collapsing.

I watched, not believing my eyes. Since having moved to New York City in 1989, I had become accustomed to using the Twin Towers as my own personal compass point for the direction “South,” since they’re on the southern tip of the island, and visible from dozens of blocks away. Wherever you were in the maze of streets that made up the Village, all you had to do to orient yourself was find the Twin Towers, and you knew which direction to go in.

(If you ever watched closely during the movie “When Harry Met Sally,” you can see the towers beneath the Washington Square arch in the scene where Sally drops Harry off when they first arrive in New York.)

And now one of those towers was coming down.

I don’t remember anything else about that moment except that, as I watched the TV in horror, the front door to my apartment opened, and, assuming it was Luz back from the street, I turned to tell her, “It’s falling down! It’s FALLING DOWN!”

Only it wasn’t Luz. It was my husband.

He said, “What’s falling down? Why are you crying?”

Because HE HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON.

Because my husband, being my husband, had picked up his briefcase after the first plane hit and said, “Let’s go,” to everyone in his department, took the elevators downstairs, and insisted everyone start walking for our apartment, because it was the closest place to where they were that seemed unlikely to be hit by an airplane.

(He told me later he’d worried they were going to try for the Stock Exchange, or the federal buildings you always see on Law and Order, and so had made everyone take the long way home around those buildings, which is why it took so long to get there).

They had to dodge the bodies of the people who jumped from the burning towers because they couldn’t stand the heat anymore. They saw the desk chairs and PCs that had been blown out of the offices so high above littering the street like tickertape from a parade. They saw the second plane hit while they were on the street, and ducked into a cell phone store until the rubble from the explosion settled. A piece of plane, nearly twenty feet long, flew past them, and landed in a parking lot, just missing Trinity Church, one of the oldest churches in this country.

And they kept walking.

I don’t know what people normally do when someone they love, who they were convinced was dead, suddenly walks through the door. All I know is how I reacted: I flung my arms around him. And then I started yelling, “WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL ME?”

“I tried, I couldn’t get through,” he said. “What’s falling down?”

Because they had no idea. All they knew was that the city was under attack (which they had surmised by all the airplanes).

So my husband and his colleagues gathered in our living room—hot, thirsty, but alive, and the ones who lived in New Jersey wondering how (and if) they were going to get home (eventually, that night, they all caught boats – see the film below -and when they arrived on the Jersey side, they were hosed down by people in Haz-Mat suits, in case they were carrying “chemicals” on their clothes. At that time, there was some belief the planes might have been carrying nuclear weapons or something. They were each given a single paper towel with which to dry off).

Watch this amazing film about the “boat lift” from Manhattan. It will make you proud to be human:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Luz, not wanting to go home until she’d heard from her son, who was supposed to meet her after class in my building, cleaned. I told her not to, but she said it helped keep her mind off what was happening.

So she vacuumed, while eleven people sat in my two room apartment and watched the Twin Towers fall.

It wasn’t long after the second tower came down that our friends David and Susan from Indiana, who lived in a beautiful condo in the shadow of the Twin Towers with their two children, showed up at our door, their kids and half the employees from their office (which was in our neighborhood) behind them.

They had been some of the people shown on the news escaping from the massive dust cloud that erupted when the towers fell. They’d abandoned their daughter’s stroller and run for it, while shop owners tossed water on their backs as they passed by, to keep their clothes from catching on fire.

In their typical way, however, they had stopped on their way to our place to pick up some bagels.

For all they knew, their apartment was burning down, or being buried under ten feet of rubble. But they’d stopped for bagels, because they’d been worried people might be hungry. Or maybe people just do things in times like that to try to be normal. I don’t know. They didn’t forget the cream cheese, either.

I took the kids into my bedroom, where there was a second TV, because I didn’t think they should see what everyone was watching in the living room, which was footage of what they had just escaped from.

I set up my Playstation for Jake, who was seven or so at the time, to use, while Shai, just turning 4, and I did a puzzle on my floor. Both kids were worried about Mr. Fluff, their pet rabbit, whom they’d been forced to leave behind in their apartment, because there’d been no time to get him (their parents had run from work and grabbed both kids from school).

“Do you think he’s all right?” Jake wanted to know.

At the time, I didn’t see how anything south of Canal Street could be alive, but I told Jake I was sure Mr. Fluff was fine.

This was when Shai and I had the following conversation:

“Are planes going to fly into THIS building?” Shai wanted to know. She was crying as she looked out the windows of my thirteenth floor apartment.

Me: “No. No planes are going to fly into this building.”

Shai (still crying): “How do you know?”

Me: “Because all the planes are grounded. No more planes are allowed in the air.”

Shai: “Ever?”

Me: “No. Just until the bad guys who did this get caught.”

Shai: “Who’s going to catch the bad guys?”

Me: “The police will catch them.”

Shai: “No, they won’t. All the police are dead. I saw them going into the building that just fell down.”

Me (trying not to cry): “Shai. Not all the police are dead.”

Shai (crying harder): “Yes, they ARE. I SAW THEM.”

Me (showing Shai a picture from my family photo album of a policeman in his uniform): “Shai, this is my brother, Matt. He’s a policeman. And he’s not dead, I promise. And he, and other policemen like him, and probably even the Army, will catch the bad guys.”

Shai (no longer crying): “Okay.”

And she went back to her puzzle.

Watching from my living room window, we saw the crowds of people streaming out from what was soon to be called Ground Zero, thin to a trickle, then stop altogether. That was when 4th Avenue became crowded with vehicular traffic again. But not taxis or bike messengers.

Soon, our building was shaking from the wheels of hundreds of Humvees and Army trucks, as the National Guard moved in. The Village was blockaded from 14th Street down. You couldn’t come in or out without showing proof that you lived there (a piece of mail with your name and address on it, along with a photo ID).

The next day, after having spent the night on our fold-out couch in the living room, Shai’s parents snuck back to their apartment (they had to sneak, because the National Guard wasn’t letting anyone at all, even with proof that they lived there, into the area. For weeks afterwards, on every corner from 14th Street down, stood a National Guardsman, armed with an assault rifle. For days, you couldn’t get milk, bread, or a newspaper below Union Square because they weren’t allowing any delivery trucks — or any vehicles at all, except Army vehicles — into the area), and found Mr. Fluff alive and well.

They snuck him back out, so that later that day, we were able to put the entire family on a bus to the Hamptons, where they lived for the rest of the year.

As my husband and I were walking back to our apartment from the bus stop where we’d seen off our friends, we saw a familiar face standing on the corner of 4th Avenue and 12th Street, where we lived:

Bill Clinton and his daughter Chelsea Clinton, asking people in our neighborhood if we were all right, and if there was anything they could do to help.

I didn’t go up to shake the ex-President’s hand, because I was too shy.

But I stood there watching him and Chelsea, and something about seeing them, so genuinely concerned and kind (and not there for press or publicity, because there WAS no press, there was never any mention of their visit AT ALL in any newspaper or on any news broadcast I saw that day), made me burst into tears, after having held them in the whole time Shai had been in my apartment, since I didn’t want to upset her.

But you couldn’t NOT cry. It was impossible. Everyone was doing it …so much so that the deli across the street put a sign in its window: “No Crying, Please.” Our doormen were crying. Even Rudy Giuliani, New York City’s mayor (whom I will admit up until this crisis I had not particularly liked for cheating on his very nice wife, Donna Hanover, who used to be on the Food Network), kept crying.

But he also kept showing up on New York 1, no matter what time you turned it on, even at two in the morning, there he was, like he never slept, always crying but also telling us It’s going to be all right, which was BRILLIANT.

The same day we put Shai and her family on a bus to the Hamptons, September 12 — which also happened to be poor Shai’s birthday — companies (even RIVAL companies) all over Manhattan offered up their conference rooms and spare offices to my husband’s company, so that it would be able to remain in business, since all its windows had been blown out, and asbestos had fallen all over everything.

Since he was the only person in the company who lived downtown, my husband was elected for the duty of removing all the sensitive data from the now mostly destroyed office, which meant he had to pass through the Brooks Brothers in his building’s foyer, from which he had bought so many of his business shirts and ties. The Brooks Brothers was now serving as Ground Zero’s morgue.

While under escort of the National Guard, he and guardsmen–the first to enter his floor since the event–found a body in an emergency stairwell. It was determined to be the body of someone from another office, who had probably suffered a heart attack while trying to evacuate. The body was removed and taken to the morgue while my husband watched. (He threw away the clothes he wore that day.)

For the next week in Lower Manhattan, even if you wanted to forget, for a minute, what had happened on that cloudless Tuesday morning, you couldn’t. The front window of my apartment building filled with Missing Person posters of loved ones that had been lost in the Trade Center. The outside walls of St. Vincent’s Hospital were papered with them as well, and Union Square, at 14th Street, became an impromptu memorial to the dead, filled with candles and flowers. So did the front doors of every local fire station, including the one across the street from my building. The old ladies who used to bring cookies there stood in front of it and cried.

You couldn’t go outside during that week — until it finally rained Friday night, four days later – without smelling the acrid smoke from Ground Zero … and, in fact, you were encouraged to wear surgical masks outdoors. An eerie grey fog covered everything. Some of us tried to brave it by not wearing masks — like Londoners in the Blitz — meeting for lunch like nothing had happened, but it made your eyes burn. I have no idea how the rescue workers at Ground Zero could bear it.

It wasn’t until employees from a barbecue restaurant drove all the way to Manhattan from Memphis, and stationed their tanker-sized smokers right next to Ground Zero, and then started giving away free barbecue to all the rescue workers there for weeks on end, that the smell changed to something other than death. Everyone loved those guys. It was just barbecue. Except it wasn’t just barbecue. It was a sign that things were going to be all right.

But of course, for a lot of New Yorkers that day, things were never going to be all right again. While I was celebrating the fact that my husband had come home, Fred – Jen’s employee, the EMT who had ridden his bike downtown to see if there was anything he could do – couldn’t find his crew. This was before the buildings fell, before anyone had any idea those buildings COULD fall, when the police and firemen were still streaming into them, thinking they could get people out.

The crew that Fred normally volunteered with were inside one of those buildings, helping people down the stairs. Fred couldn’t find them, because all the cell towers were down, and communication was so sketchy. Someone told Fred to drive a bus they’d found, and help evacuate people out of the World Trade Center area.

Fred didn’t want to be outside driving a bus. He wanted to be inside with his crew, saving people.

But since he couldn’t find his crew, he agreed to drive the bus.

Then the buildings came down. Later, Fred found out that the crew he normally volunteered with had been one of the many rescue squads buried under the rubble.

Like a lot of the rescue workers who lost coworkers in the attack, Fred seemed to feel guilty about having survived, while his friends had not. Even when all his NYU co-workers pitched in and bought him a new bike (after his old one got crushed at Ground Zero), Fred couldn’t seem to shake his sadness. It was like he didn’t believe he’d done any good that day.

“All I did,” he said, “was drive a stupid bus.”

But that’s not all he did. Because remember Luz’s son?

Well, he showed up at my apartment not long after Jake and Shai and their parents did. Luz grabbed him and kissed him and shook him and cried, and when she finally let go of him, he told his story:

He had been heading towards — not away from – the towers, because he’d wanted to help, he said. A lot like Fred.

But suddenly, from out of nowhere, someone grabbed him from behind, and threw him onto a stupid bus.

“But I want to stay and help!” Luz’s son yelled at the guy who’d grabbed him.

“Not today,” Fred said.

And he drove Luz’s son, and all the other students from that community college to safety, just before the towers fell.

Now more than a decade has passed since 9/11. A year or two after finding that body, after the company he worked for got back on its feet, my husband decided financial writing wasn’t for him, and he decided to follow a lifelong dream: he enrolled in the French Culinary Institute in Manhattan. He got to work with chefs like Jacques Pepin. At his graduation, Michael Lamonaco–who ran Windows on the World, the restaurant at the top of the Twin Towers. Michael is another person who happened to be late to work on 9/11–offered him a job in his new restaurant.

My husband declined, however, because we were moving to Key West, where the pace of life is a little bit slower. Michael said he completely understood.

Luz and her son are doing fine. Fred is now married with two children, and head of his own division at NYU. Mr. Fluff did eventually die, but of natural causes. Jake is now in college, and Shai is skilled at many sports. Shai’s mother says her daughter has no memory whatsoever of that day, or of the conversation she and I had, or of the promise I made her — that we’d catch the bad guys.

Shai, however, says she does remember our conversation, and that I was right: we did catch the bad guys. There might still be some out there, because you can never catch of all them. But we’re trying.

Not long ago, someone asked an interesting question at a dinner party. If you could take a pill that would make you forget your worst memories, would you do it?

I don’t think I would. Though some pretty terrible things have happened to me in my life (that I prefer not to write about because for me, books are for fun, therapy is for the bad stuff), the memories of those things have helped shape who am I.

But though I’d prefer it 9/11 had never happened, I think it’s important that we always remember it. Because by forgetting history, we are dooming others – and ourselves – to repeat it. I never want it to happen again, in my or anyone else’s lifetime.

So, that’s why I will keep posting this.

More later.

Much love,

Meg

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27. The Bride Wore Size 12 Bridal Tour!

I can’t believe summer is over already!

This would be super depressing if there weren’t so many fun things to look forward to this fall, such as wearing stylish boots (for those of you who don’t live in Florida), the return of Scandal (the dishiest show on television right now), and of course the return of Heather Wells in The Bride Wore Size 12, which is going to be in stores (and available for download) in the U.S. and Canada in about 2 weeks (official pub date 9/24) …

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And none of the book tour stops for The Bride Wore Size 12 are going to interfere with Scandal (which premieres Oct 3)!

I’m sure you’re saying to yourself, “But Meg, you’re an award-winning, #1 New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of something like 80 books, with more than 25 million copies sold, in nearly 40 countries. Surely you would not let a mere TV show stop you from making an appearance to promote your new book.”

Olivia Pope of Scandal dedicates her life to protecting the innocent (and also the public images of the nation’s elite)!

Heather Wells of the Size 12 series and the soon-to-be released The Bride Wore Size 12 dedicates her life to protecting the innocent (and also the students housed in the elite college residence hall where she works)!

Both women solve murders, and are having red hot affairs with sinfully sexy men!

Both women love popcorn, and also alcoholic beverages!

Sadly for Olivia, she doesn’t seem anywhere close to marrying her one true love. But wedding bells are ringing for Heather Wells in The Bride Wore Size 12.

Or ARE they?

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Yes! They are!

And guess who’s invited to the wedding? YOU!

In The Bride Wore Size 12, a whole new school year has started for assistant resident hall director Heather Wells. Not only that, but she’s finally getting married to her one true love, P.I. Cooper Cartwright!

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But you know what the new school year always seems to bring to Heather:

MURDER!

Will she be able to tie the knot – much less get her freshmen settled – without getting involved in a double homicide? The first event in The Bride Wore Size 12 celebration book tour is in less than ONE week! Maybe we’ll find out there.

Join me in a special ONLINE chat on Tuesday, September 10 at 7PM EST (4PM PCT) with one of my favorite authors (and people) the beautiful, talented author Rachel Vail.

Space is limited, so to reserve yours, go to Book Talk Nation now. You can join me while I chat with Rachel about very important things such as popcorn and where we get our ideas, and ask any question of your own that you want (within reason. Please don’t ask about that one time we went on that secret mission for the CIA to rescue the President’s children, because we’re still not allowed to talk about it).

Signed copies of both my own AND Rachel’s books will be available for purchase (but copies of The Bride Wore Size 12 won’t ship until the on-sale date of September 24)!

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Here’s the complete list of all the other events (so far) for The Bride Wore Size 12 Tour! Note that NONE of them interfere with your Scandal viewing!

For details on registering or ticket purchasing for the signings, please click on the provided event links (which took me a really long time to write out, so seriously, click on them. If they’re wrong, it’s my fault, write and let me know).

Saturday, September 21, 2013
LONG ISLAND

7:00 PM
BOOK REVUE
313 New York Ave
Huntington, NY 11743
Book Revue

Sunday, September 22, 2013
NEW YORK
10:00 AM to 6:00 PM EST
BROOKLYN BOOK FESTIVAL
154 Christopher ST
New York, NY 10014
Brooklyn Book Festival

Monday, September 23, 2013
CONNECTICUT

7:00 PM
RJ JULIA BOOKSELLERS
768 Boston Post Road
Madison, CT 06443
RJ Julia Booksellers

Tuesday, September 24, 2013
NEW JERSEY

7:00PM
BOOKENDS
211 E Ridgewood Ave
Ridgewood, NJ 07450
Book Ends

Wednesday, September 25, 2013
MINNEAPOLIS

7:00 PM
BARNES & NOBLE
3225 W 69th St
Edina, MN 55435
Barnes & Noble

Thursday, September 26, 2013

CHICAGO

7:00 PM

STEVENSON HIGH SCHOOL
West Auditorium
1 Stevenson Drive
Lincolnshire, IL 60069
Registration Required, please call 224-543-1484
Sponsored by Lake Forest Bookstore

Friday, September 27, 2013
BALTIMORE

BALTIMORE BOOK FESTIVAL
10 E. Baltimore St.
Baltimore, MD 21202
Baltimore Book Festival

Saturday, September 28, 2013
BALTIMORE

BALTIMORE BOOK FESTIVAL
10 E. Baltimore St.
Baltimore, MD 21202
Baltimore Book Festival

Sunday, September 29, 2013
BALTIMORE

BALTIMORE BOOK FESTIVAL
10 E. Baltimore St.
Baltimore, MD 21202
Baltimore Book Festival

Saturday, November 23, 2013
MIAMI

Miami Book Fair Event
MIAMI BOOK FAIR
Info TK

(For more details, including ticketing and exact times/locations for the book festival events, go to Where is Meg, or the book festival website, closer to the event date.)

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Finally, don’t forget to enter the Heather Wells Bride Wore Size 12 Sweepstakes!
Become one of 45 lucky hostesses to win party favors and books to throw a Heather Wells Wedding Shower. Go here for all the details!

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Want to read a sneak peek from The Bride Wore Size 12? There’s one here! Shhh, don’t tell!

Okay, that’s all for right now even though I have a LOT to say, but I’m saving it for my next entry. I hope you had a great summer and got all rested up for the mystery (and romance) to come this year! I know I did. And I can’t wait to see some of you along the way this fall!

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More later.

Much love,

Meg

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28. Meg Cabot’s Characters Pick Their Oscar Favorites

Well, the Oscars are this weekend so I interviewed some of my characters to find out what their picks are for Best Movie of the Year. Their choices might surprise you … or not:

Princess Mia Thermopolis, heroine of the The Princess Diaries series:

It’s really hard to say which was my favorite movie this year because they were all so good. So many of them were educational (particularly to me as the heir to the throne of Genovia)!

Argo was a great example of the lengths I might need to go to in order to rescue citizens of my country if they are ever trapped in a foreign land.

Lincoln is a fantastic historical piece about a leader I hope to one day emulate.

And in the unlikely event of a terrorist attack on Genovia, I too will assemble an elite team of military operatives — headed by my single-minded best friend Lilly Moscovitz and her computer genius brother, my boyfriend Michael — who will devote themselves to tracking down the bad guys, just like in Zero Dark Thirty.

I feel obligated add that my bodyguard Lars enthusiastically volunteered to be the Royal Torturer after he saw Zero Dark Thirty.

This is an example of the many kinds of things with which you have to put up when you are a royal. It’s not all “What Are You Wearing?” and Royal Baby Bump Watch. It’s “Can I Be The Royal Torturer?”

I had to remind Lars that in Genovia, we don’t allow torture … and that we would not, even in the unlikely event of a terrorist attack.

But he looked so disappointed that I finally relented and told him he could be in charge of converting one of Genovia’s many five star hotels into a prison for whatever terrorists the elite team of military operatives manage to catch, since our current jail only has three cells in it (and those are always filled with whichever of Grandmére’s boyfriends failed to pay their bar tabs). So that made him really happy.

Seriously, it’s hard being a princess! But we learned that this year from the movie Brave.

Pierce Oliviera, heroine of the Abandon series:

Movies? Who has time to see movies? Some of us are busy trying to protect our boyfriends and/or family members from murderous demons.

And FYI, they don’t have movie theaters or DVD players in the Underworld, where I’m currently living.

Jess Mastriani, heroine of the Vanished series (also known as 1-800-Where-R-You) :

My pick for best movie of the year would be Battleship. Yeah, I know it isn’t on the list.
That’s the Academy’s problem, not mine.

I was particularly impressed with Rhianna’s role as weapons specialist Gunner’s Mate Second Class Cora Raikes. My favorite part was when GM2 Raikes saved the life of Riggins from Friday Night Lights by blowing away that alien.

Rhianna, call me if that guy you keep hanging out with in real life gives you anymore trouble. I know where he lives.

How do I know where he lives? Because I know everything. Unfortunately.

Heather Wells, heroine of the Size Twelve series:

I haven’t had a chance to see any movies because I’m busy planning my wedding to my private eye boyfriend. What? Oh, thanks, I know, he is pretty hot, isn’t he?

Anyway, do you have any idea what it’s like to work in a place nicknamed “Death Dorm” by the press because every semester some student (or my boss or whoever) manages to get him or herself killed here? It’s no picnic, let me tell you.

But if I were going to see one of the Best Picture picks it would be Django Unchained because let me tell you, Jamie Foxx and Leonardo Di Caprio in a battle to the death over Kerry Washington? Yes, please.

Wait, you weren’t taping that, were you? Can you play it back? I didn’t say anything that could get me fired, did I? Because I get really good benefits working here, so I don’t want to lose my job, despite the whole murder thing.

Suze Simon, heroine of The Mediator series:

Seriously? You want to know which Oscar pick I liked best this year? I can tell you which one bored the crap out of me: Life of Pi. My boyfriend Jesse dragged me to see it without telling me what it’s about. It turns out it’s about some guy trapped in a lifeboat with a tiger.

Jesse says it’s an allegory about God or religion or something and he really appreciated it after having spent two hundred years being trapped as a ghost in my house.

I said, “Really, Jesse? Do I look like a tiger to you? Have I ever eaten a zebra? Listen, when I want to spend my hard-earned entertainment dollars on an allegory, I’ll go to Disneyland and take a ride on Space Mountain. In the meantime, shut up and kiss me.”

So he did.

Jesse can pick out the movie anytime if that’s what’s going to happen ;-) . But otherwise, no more movies about anyone trapped in a lifeboat with anything.

Lizzie Nichols, Queen of Babble series:

Oh my God, the costumes in Les Miserables were to die for. And – ha! What do you know? She did!

Oh, should I have said spoiler alert? Darn, I’m always doing that.

Allie Finkle, heroine of the Allie Finkle Rules for Girls series:

I pick Beasts of the Southern Wild, which my uncle Jay took me to even though my mom said not to because it would give me nightmares. She was totally right!

But it was still a good movie. It’s about a girl like me, only she’s practically in first grade instead of fourth, and she has to keep from dying in a horrible flood, which my uncle Jay said is totally going to happen to this planet if we keep abusing our precious resources.

So the rule is, stop abusing our precious resources and you won’t cause a big flood in the future for that poor girl in the movie. The end.

Samantha Madison, heroine of the All American Girl series:

David and I saw Amour at the White House. The President of France was there, because it was a special screening just for him and David’s parents, the President and First Lady.

That movie was so sweet, but also sad, because it was about old people in love who are dying. I cried like a big baby. It was totally embarrassing.

From now on I’m making David see movies in the theater, like a normal person. I don’t care if we have to take the Secret Service with us. I can’t take this anymore. Who cries in front of the President of France? Me, it turns out.

Emerson Watts, heroine of the Airhead series:

Well, I know it wasn’t nominated for Best Picture, but I’m going to have to say my favorite movie of the year was Skyfall. It really spoke to me as someone who knows what it’s like to have a ruthless killer trying to assassinate her. That’s all I can say about that due to the court mandated gag order.

Meena Harper, heroine of the Insatiable series:

I have to say, I really enjoyed Silver Linings Playbook. The story was entertaining, the romance believable, and the male lead, played by Bradley Cooper, reminded me of a certain someone I happen to know, especially his obsessive hatred of completely arbitrary things, such as American literary heroes.

(Alaric Wulf breaks in: I do not hate Ernest Hemingway.)

MH: Well, you don’t like him.

AW: I don’t hate him, though.

MH: You said Tender is the Night is a piece of garbage and threw it overboard the last time we took the boat out to go snorkeling.

AW: It fell overboard.

MH: Because you ripped it in half and threw both halves into the water!

AW: I do feel that that particular author might be overrated.

MH: And you claim you bear no resemblance whatsoever to the guy Bradley Cooper played in Silver Linings Playbook?

AW: Physically, yes, I’m very attractive, and I’ve strangled numerous individuals with shower cords, but none of them were human, and none of them lived to tell the tale.

MH: I rest my case.

Well, this has been Meg Cabot’s Characters Pick Their Oscar Favorites with your host, Meg Cabot. Thanks for reading! Please note that the views expressed above are not necessarily my views, but those of my characters, some of whom are suffering from post-traumatic stress. Tune in again soon when we’ll hear from Jean Honeywell from Jinx and Ellie from Avalon High about their views on St. Patrick’s Day.

More later.

Much love,

Meg

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29. Report from Downton Cabot: Life Goes On

This isn’t the blog entry I was hoping to write to start off the new year, but life doesn’t always go the way we plan.

As many of you have already learned via Twitter and Facebook, Lady Fussypants, also known as Henrietta, passed away peacefully in her cat bed two weeks ago. Cause of death: Old Age.

Please do not feel bad. Henrietta lived from 1993-2013. Twenty years is a very long life for a cat, especially for a cat found as a tiny kitten in a trash can in Brooklyn, or as the natives call it, the 718.

Henrietta

According to the “cat years calculator” a cat that lives 20 years is 97 years old!

No wonder in her later years Henrietta became a bit fussy.

Still, like the Dowager Countess on Downton Abbey, we loved her very much, and she will be missed.

Meg and Henrietta
The one time Henrietta ever voluntarily posed in a photo with me.

Henrietta’s likes were drinking from the caps of water bottles at the side of the bathtub . . . .

Henrietta

. . . and sleeping under piles of pillows. If you attempted to remove these pillows (such as, to get into bed), Henrietta’s claws would dart out from beneath them and give you a mighty thrashing. It was easier simply to sleep in a different bed.

Henrietta

Her most violent dislikes were my desk (she liked to poop under it. Reason behind this dislike remains a mystery), and “Downstairs.” As a one-eyed cat who had lived most of her life in a New York City apartment, when we moved to a house in Key West with a second floor, Henrietta decided the concept of “Downstairs” was simply too much for her. She chose to ignore it, and remain “Upstairs,” guarding it vigilantly from outsiders, for the rest of her life.

Henrietta
“I know I look sweet, but I weel keel you if I don’t know you and you come up these stairs.”

When our secondary cat, Lady Slutty-McSlut-A-Lot (also known as Gem), noticed my husband on the street one day and then attached herself bodily to him, Henrietta made it known that this new cat was not allowed “Upstairs.” Slutty was to remain “Downstairs” at all times.

The few times Slutty attempted to come “Upstairs,” she received a mighty thrashing from Henrietta for her efforts. After that, Slutty knew always to remain “Downstairs,” or face the wrath of Lady Fussypants.

Henrietta
“I am the queen of this house. Now scratch my spotted belly.”

Now that Henrietta has gone permanently to the Great Upstairs in the Sky, Slutty has not once attempted to venture “Upstairs,” even though we’ve tried to show her that it’s now safe to do so.

For our efforts, we received a mighty thrashing from Lady Slutty, who then streaked back “Downstairs,” which she clearly believes is her right and proper place in this world.

I guess this would be like if someone tried to get Daisy from the kitchens of “Downton Abbey” to come live in the Dowager Countess’s rooms. Daisy knows “t’would not be proper.”

Henrietta
“More water please in my tiny bowls. NOW.”

Henrietta’s remains are where she would have wanted them, close by, and I thank you for allowing me to entertain you with stories about her for so many years. Thank you, too, for the many messages of sympathy you have sent via Twitter and Henrietta’s Tribute page on Facebook. They are truly appreciated by He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Blog and myself, as are the many funny stores we have received from those who knew Henrietta personally.

Henrietta
“This is where I do all my best sleeping . . . and evil plotting.”

Meanwhile, life for the living at Downton Cabot goes on, as it must. I have many projects keeping me busy, including but not limited to the purchase of a boat, fulfilling my lifelong dream of forcing others to call me Captain Meg, a la Captain Kirk.


Andrew Newman/Getty Images

Ha, ha, just kidding, I’m not getting that kind of boat.

But guess what? In the state of Florida, you don’t need a driver’s license to operate a boat or personal watercraft. You just need to be over 14. Shocking but true!

I will, of course, always stay within sight of land, not run over any snorkelers, dolphins, manatees, or sea turtles, and require all of my passengers to know how to swim, just in case we have to abandon ship due to encountering Klingons.

I’m also working on Awaken, the final book in the Abandon series, which will be out in US and Canadian stores (and on e-readers) on July 2, 2013.

Awaken 3

And Book 5 of the Heather Wells series, Size 12 is the New Black, will be in US and Canadian stores (and on e-readers) in September 2013.

A lot of people got excited when a certain gossip blog posted that there might be a new installment of The Princess Diaries series coming soon. That was pure conjecture on the part of that blog (though I appreciate the enthusiasm, and it certainly could happen someday).

But I’m definitely adding a 7th installment to the Mediator series (though it’s not written yet, so don’t expect it anytime soon)! Sometimes inspiration hits when and where you least expect it.

My amazing friends and colleagues, Janey and Ann (who designed the Henrietta Tribute Page), have also been busy, putting up a Meg Cabot Tumblr.

Post your favorite quote from a Meg Cabot book on Twitter using the hashtag #megcabotsays and then keep an eye out… it could end up on my Tumblr!

And as I’m sure you’re aware, Valentine’s Day is around the corner (not that it matters to those of us who will never receive a Valentine from our romantic partners, who, like Michael Moscovitz, believe that Valentine’s Day is a commercial scam . . . which of course it is, but who doesn’t love candy?).

We’re hosting a writing contest here for those of you who wish to vent your feelings about the holiday, pro or con. Keep it to 1,000 words and choose from one of the 5 sentences we’ve supplied (don’t worry, you’ll find one you like) as your first line. Good luck!

And as always, thank you for your support, and for reading. Remember, if there is something in your life that is bothering you, take some advice from Lady Fussypants, and simply poop on it. You’ll feel a whole let better.

In the meantime, be safe, be happy, and be yourself!

More later.

Much love,

Meg

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30. Best of 2012

Best of 2012

I can’t believe the holiday season has already snuck up on us. I’m not prepared at all! Although it was nice to get that extra week in this year between Thanksgiving and the alleged Mayan Apocalypse, so at least I got to catch up on all the books I’m late turning in.*

(*This line thrown in for any of my editors reading this. Also, according to the many Mayans I know —for real— the apocalypse is not really going to happen, so we need to stop using this as an excuse for stuff.)

Anyway, if you’re feeling just as harried as I am, you’re probably thrilled by all the “Best Of 2012” lists suddenly appearing everywhere. They make holiday shopping a little easier. I find those lists so helpful, I’ve pulled one together for all of you.*

*Special Note: Some of these things came out prior to 2012, and some of them aren’t necessarily things you can actually buy, they’re just things I like, so I threw them onto the list anyway.

Meg Cabot’s Best* of 2012:

*Before you write to tell me all the “Best” things I missed, remember the word “best” is subjective. In this case, “Best” simply means something I found enjoyable and thought you might, too. I know there are many things I left out. I could not possibly list ALL the “Best” things or this post would be 2,000,000 words long.

Best DVD/Book Set:

The book/DVD combo of PBS’s CALL THE MIDWIFE – Jennifer Worth

This book was already a bestseller in England before it was turned into a hit TV series. Now it’s turned into a surprise hit in the US that all my friends were bugging me to watch on PBS. So I did, and I LOVED it.

Follow the adventures, romances, and incredible pluck of these spunky midwives in 1950s East London. Yes, you will also want to read the bestselling memoirs by Jennifer Worth (Nurse Jenny Lee!) that the show was based on. I’m reading them now and they’re as addictive (and yet heart breaking) as the show. Here’s a clip from the show:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Best Makeup:

Red Lipstick, any kind

Whose idea was it to make wearing red lipstick, 1940s style, stylish again? I don’t know but I LOVE it.

I first started noticing red lipstick on Amber (Mae Whitman) on the excellent TV show Parenthood (LOVE this show). Then I noticed Zooey Deschanel was doing it on The New Girl (LOVE this show too). Now I’m seeing it everywhere.

Cheerful and fun and a great way to say, “Mayan Apocalypse? I’m not afraid of you!”

Best Movie:

Silver Linings Playbook

If you haven’t seen this movie, run out and see it right away. I know you’ve heard it’s about Bradley Cooper being released from a mental institution after beating up the man he finds making out with his wife in their shower, but I promise it’s hilarious, and you’ll love the ending.

It’s not often you come out of a movie feeling really good and ALSO like you just saw a movie about people you actually know (except no one I actually know looks like Bradley Cooper or Jennifer Lawrence) but that’s how you’ll feel after seeing this movie.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Best Graphic Novel:

Unlovable: The Complete Collection by Esther Pearl Watson

I stumbled across these books because I subscribe to BUST Magazine, mainly because I’ve always liked the running comic at the end written and illustrated by Esther Pearl Watson.

Unlovable, set in the 1980s, is about a high school sophomore named Tammy who doesn’t let anything get her down for long. Tammy always champions the underdog without seeming to realize she herself is the biggest underdog around.

I think this book set would make an amazing gift for anyone, any age (well, probably ages 14 and up). These VERY funny books may be called Unlovable, but I adore them (especially Volume Two. Seriously, people, I cried. I keep both these books on my living room coffee table, as they have lovely, sparkly covers).

*Special note: I ordered my second copy from Fantagraphicsand it came with a free signed bookplate from the artist/author. Nice!

Best Dance:

Gangnam Style

Don’t groan. You know you love it! Every time you see a grown man doing the horsey dance, you get a little smile on your face.

My personal favorite gangnam dance video is not the original, but the US Naval Academy’s version, and not just because it was filmed in Annapolis, where my mom lives (and where I just visited for Thanksgiving) and where my book Avalon High is set.

It’s my favorite because it encompasses everything that I love about America: having fun at work, cute guys dancing (in uniform), canons, and boat marinas. (But you know we can get the job done when we need to! Then we all have a beer.)

Click here to view the embedded video.

Best Cookies: (available in a grocery store)

Tate’s Bake Shop

I have celiac disease which means that I can’t eat anything with wheat, barley, or rye in it. Luckily, I have a fantastic baker friend here in Key West named Jimi who makes the most incredible gluten-free cookies you’ve ever tasted!

But this year I randomly discovered the SECOND best gluten free cookies I’ve ever tasted (besides Jimi’s), and you can actually buy them in just about any grocery store, so I thought I’d share: Tate’s Bake Shop cookies.

They come in gluten-free and non-gluten varieties, and the gluten free chocolate chip ones taste JUST LIKE REAL CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES (not as good as Jimi’s, but still really, really good).

They also won some awards.

(I seriously DON’T get free products or money to endorse stuff in my blog – that would be weird considering I am well paid for my job – plus this blog doesn’t get enough hits for anyone to notice when I endorse stuff. I just thought I should mention that. Plus I still haven’t lost my Halloween candy weight. I’m saying all this because I had a brief fantasy that a giant box of free Tate’s cookies might arrive at my door, but this will never happen and if it did it would NOT be a good thing. So I need to get this fantasy out of my head.)

Best Website of the Year:

Click here. If you don’t know who it is, you’re not watching the Best TV Show on Television.

(Okay, people who don’t know what that is, it is Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec. And Ron Swanson doesn’t normally act like that, that is why it’s funny.)

Best YouTube Video to Annoy Your Family: (in case you haven’t seen it already)

Baby Monkey Riding Backwards on a Pig

Click here to view the embedded video.

(I know this video came out in 2011 but someone just sent it to me in 2012. And it doesn’t annoy me, I actually love it.)

Best Use of the Word “Poop” in a Children’s Toy Commercial:

The Orbeez LadyBug Scooper RC (this is in no way an endorsement of this product)

Click here to view the embedded video.

Best Gift for Him that He will Never Use:

Chewbaca cuff links, available at Neiman Marcus for $125.

Best Gift for Her that She Will Totally Use But No One Ever Gets For Her So She Has To Buy It For Herself Every Year:

Jo Malone Grapefruit Body Cream. It’s so luxurious and smells so good and they have done studies that when people wear grapefruit scent, they are perceived as being healthier and looking slimmer. I am not making this up.

Best Projects Created by People I Know (That I Can Think Of Right Now):

This video is by my friend who went through Hurricane Sandy

Click here to view the embedded video.

This is a movement to bail out the people – NOT banks. It’s called Rolling Jubilee, and it’s gaining momentum and getting a lot of press. It’s pretty neat. Check it out:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Best YA Books

Here are some of the best YA books that came out (or are coming) out in 2012. Obviously I couldn’t possibly list all the ones I read, but here are the ones that stick out in my memory:

The Girl In The Park by Mariah Fredericks

I’ve loved all of Mariah’s other books, so it was no surprise to me that this one rocked. As a mystery set in NYC, it had that irresistible Law and Order flavor, except that it was a YA set in an NYC prep school, so it was sort of Gossip Girly. Delicious.

Here’s a fanmade trailer of the book, which I find particularly amazing because it not only sums up the book perfectly, it includes scenes from the movie Clueless.

Click here to view the embedded video.

52 Reasons to Hate My Father by Jessica Brody

52 Reasons is a book about a rich, spoiled heiress who has to spend 52 weeks doing minimum wage jobs her dad picks out for her before she can access her inheritance.

This is a fun, quick read that has everything you could want in the “spoiled rich girl gets her well deserved comeuppance” vein, plus a little something more . . . maybe the rich girl isn’t so bad after all? Plus the book trailer, though not fan made, is really funny.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Ghost Flower by Michele Jaffe

I talk to Michele Jaffe almost every day but I didn’t know that not only was her book Ghost Flower an RT Top Pick that won the RT Seal of Excellence for the month of May 2012, it is ALSO a Best 2012 Young Adult Contemporary Novel Nominee and a Best 2012 Book of the Year Nominee. Not that I’m surprised, since I read and loved it, as did everyone on Goodreads, it’s just that of course Michele never said a word to me about winning all these awards, which is so like her.

If you like a good mystery (with a paranormal romantic element), you’ll love Ghost Flower.

KISS ME AGAIN by Rachel Vail

Rachel Vail is another person who never says a word to me when her books win awards (like her middle grade book, Justin Case, won the 2011 Kiddo Award from JAMES PATTERSON himself. But did she tell me? No). She didn’t even tell me KISS ME AGAIN is coming out this month! WHAT??!!!

KISS ME AGAIN is the sequel to IF WE KISSED (which I adored). KISS ME AGAIN asks the immortal question, “What if the boy you were crushing on became your STEPBROTHER?”

Oh. My. God. Everything really does go back to Clueless.

How much do you want to read this book now? I can’t wait to get my hands on it!

Best Cover of the Abandon Series

Awaken

I know it’s wrong to give myself a “Best Of” award but I had very little to do with this one, it goes to my publisher and, though some of you may not know it, to YOU! A lot of you have already seen this, since it’s been up for a while on Goodreads, Amazon, and the Scholastic website, and many of you have been asking for details. So here it is, details below:

Awaken 3

–The girl and guy depicted on it are Pierce and John.

–The girl is the same model who played Pierce on both the Abandon and Underworld covers. Isn’t she lovely?

–The pose was my idea (all the poses have been my idea. I like the narrative progression the images tell on the covers . . . on the first cover the girl is dead, on the second she is escaping, and now finally she’s alive, but she must save the boy from dying. It’s nice to have a dead boy on a book cover for a change. But is he really dead? Or will she be able to help him awaken?)

–YOU picked out the male model. (I had a hard time narrowing it down from all the photos of cute male models they sent me, so I sent a select number of YOU emergency emails asking for help choosing – after I’d narrowed it down to about 10 guys. YOU picked this one. We approved. You also wrote back some of the most hilarious responses I’ve ever seen, such as: “This is the best email I’ve EVER gotten!” and “Thanks for making my day!!!” You guys rock. Thanks for always being there for me).

This is not the final cover. The tagline is obviously not, “Death has her in his clutches.” Etc.

–When you fold it out the full cover, you see all of John’s body. I’ll post a link to that image later, when the cover is finalized.

Here are some stills from the shoot:

photo3

photo2

Aren’t they a sweet couple? In my imagination the models are now dating in real life and have a labradoodle. Do not disenchant me, reality!

I’m excited for you to read Awaken, but it’s still in the editing process. I blame the fact that I got this gorgeous cover before I was done with the book, and that made me keep going back and revising to make sure the prose was just as lovely.

But I swear it will be worth it!

Have a very happy Hanukah, merry Christmas, and AMAZING New Year! And remember not to count on that Mayan apocalypse, since none of the Mayans who exist today really believe the world is ending on December 21. So get your holiday shopping done!

More later.

Much love,

Meg

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31. Sophia’s Baggage

Two weeks ago, I packed a bag and boarded a plane to go to New York City to do some work. Midway through my journey, the flight attendant leaned over to say, “Miss Cabot, I just have to ask—”

Am I the same Meg Cabot who wrote The Princess Diaries? Why yes, I am . . .

“—where did you get your bag?”

Oh.

P1000908 - Version 2

“My friend Sophia gave me this bag,” I told the flight attendant. “It’s by Betsey Johnson. Sophia said she got it at TJ Maxx.”

“That’s fantastic!” the flight attendant said. “There’s a TJ Maxx near me. I’m going there after work to see if they have more bags just like it.”

“Great,” I said.

The flight attendant went away, smiling happily, the way everyone does who sees the bag Sophia got me — even all the tired business men I meet standing around the baggage carousel. They always laugh when they see my bag pop out, covered in roses and festooned in hot pink ribbon and metallic gold trim.

“Nice bag,” they say to me.

“I know,” I say. Because it is a nice bag.

I was complaining about the mind-numbing boredom of business travel to my friend Sophia five or so years ago. She’d asked me what it’s like on book tour.

“Well,” I said. “It’s really fun to meet all the readers and booksellers, of course, and glamorous to stay in nice hotels and everything. But the travel part sucks. Everyone has the same exact same black wheelie bag! The only way you can tell them apart in the overhead bins or when they come out on the baggage carousel is by the different colored ribbons on the handles.”

Sophia — whom I’d known for over twenty years — said, feelingly, “That is disgusting.”

I knew Sophia would understand. Sophia just got things. She was a classically trained musician (Interlochen/Indiana University Jacobs School of Music) who wrote and played hauntingly beautiful songs. Some of my favorites include “Honeymoon”, “She Hates To Drive”, “Sweet Talk”, and “Wingwalker” (found here).


Sophia and her harpsichord

When I first met Sophia, she was working part-time in a popular Bloomington, Indiana deli, while also playing in a band with some mutual friends. Later she would go on to play with so many different bands and artists — including Michele Shocked and John Mellencamp — and write so many songs and put out so many albums, I lost track of them all. But I never lost track of her.

Sophia loved music the way I love writing. People who feel passionately about something are usually way more interesting than people who don’t feel passionately about anything (even if what they feel passionate about isn’t the same thing you feel passionate about). But that isn’t why Sophia and I connected.

Sophia felt so passionately about so many things that her father nicknamed her “Taisto-Tytär,” the Finnish words for “feisty daughter.”

Sophia felt especially passionate about helping to make the town in which she lived a better place, from adopting animals she found abandoned by the side of the road to running for public office. This passion – tempered by her charm, her love of music, and her great sense of humor – was what made Sophia so beloved to so many.

Sophia ended up going out with – and then marrying – Greg Travis, a friend of mine from high school, who’d also become a friend of my husband’s. As a result, the four of us packed a lot of bags, and visited a lot of places with one another — Martha’s Vineyard (a place Greg felt very passionately about). Castelfidardo, Italy, home of the world’s largest accordion (something Sophia felt very passionately about). Key West, Florida (a place we all felt very passionately about, enough so that my husband and I later moved there, and Greg and Sophia often visited).

Sophia Travis Plays Accordion

After they were married, Greg and Sophia moved to a beautiful historic farmhouse in Bloomington. She applied her passionate feelings to many other things besides music, including but not limited to:

Her Korean-Finnish ancestry (she became president of the IU Asian Pacific American Alumni Association); renovating her home; fundraising for local food pantries; rescuing numerous abandoned dogs and cats that showed up on her doorstep; acquiring what may be Indiana State’s largest hedgehog figurine collection; advocating for women’s issues (she was founder and chair of the Monroe County Commission on the Status of Women); acquiring numerous locally made harpsichords; and finally, motherhood, when she and her husband added a son, Finn, four years ago to their menagerie of rescued dogs and cats.

meFinn

This year, Sophia decided the time was right to run again for public office (she’d already served on the Monroe County Council from 2004-2008).

The only problem was that in the past few months she hadn’t been feeling like her normal energetic herself. None of the many specialists she and her husband consulted could say exactly what was wrong.

I saw Sophia at her house this past July at the end of my most recent book tour. I gave her a hedgehog family I’d bought at my signing at Schuler’s Bookstore in Lansing, MI. The minute I saw the tiny plastic figurines, I knew Sophia had to have them for her collection.

I was right. Sophia loved them.

Sophia had looked great when I’d seen her. Everyone was excited about the upcoming election in which she was running, but feeling a little blue because Lucy (one of the rescued dogs who’d loved to lick people), had passed away. Lucy had been quite elderly, however.

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Sophia with Lucy (behind Fernando, primary rescue dog) in happier days.

Two weeks ago, when I arrived in my apartment in New York City to do some work, I unpacked the bag the flight attendant had complimented me on, the one Sophia had given to me as a surprise five years earlier as a surprise for my 40th birthday.

“Now no one will ever mistake your bag for theirs,” Sophia had said, as she’d presented it to me. “This bag is sparkly, so I knew you’d love it.”

Sophia was right. I do love it. It’s one of the best gifts I’ve ever received. Weirdly by the time Sophia had given it to me, though, I’d forgotten all about our bag conversation, and given up on ever finding a bag I could tell apart from everyone else’s.

Sophia hadn’t forgotten or given up on the problem, however.

So when the opportunity presented itself one day at TJ Maxx, Sophia solved it . . . the same way that she’d given a home to Lucy and all those animals that had been abandoned by the side of the road, the same way she ran for public office (and won) when she felt the issues in her town might be dealt with more efficiently, and the same way she’d had a child after being told it was probably never going to happen.

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Sophia in her kitchen

Just hours after I got to NYC, unpacked my bag, and went to sleep, the phone rang. It was my husband calling to tell me that he’d heard from Greg. He had come home from work late the night before to find Sophia collapsed on the floor of their bedroom. EMTs had been unable to revive her. She had passed away only a few weeks before her 47th birthday.

I didn’t know what to do. Like everyone else who knew her, I wanted a do-over. I wanted to go back to sleep, wake up, and have it not be true.

But the next day, it was still true.

So I packed the bag Sophia had given me five years earlier, caught a flight, and went to Indiana.

It was so strange. Sitting on a shelf in Sophia’s dining room, exactly where I’d last seen them, was the hedgehog family I’d bought at Schuler’s Bookstore and given to Sophia in July.

Also in the house were Sophia’s husband and four year old son, parents and friends, my husband, myself, and all the animals she’d rescued (minus Lucy).

The only thing missing was Sophia herself. Or was she?

What caused Sophia’s death was most likely a very rare ailment of the heart.

As anyone even slightly acquainted with her knows, Sophia did suffer from a very rare heart ailment, but maybe not the kind the doctors think she had:

What Sophia had was a heart that was constantly overflowing . . . with love, with good humor, and – as her father predicted when he nicknamed her “Taisto-Tytär” – with passion.

Whether it was playing beautiful music, preparing a nice meal, giving a home to an abandoned pet, getting funding for programs for people who needed it, or even finding a funny bag for a friend who felt a little lost at the baggage carousel, Sophia always knew just what to do make others feel better.

And she never hesitated to set aside her own baggage in order to help others with theirs.

As I spoke to the many people gathered in her home in the days after her death, I realized they each had a story about Sophia helping them in some way that was very similar to my own.

It’s clear to me now that because of that, Sophia will never be gone. She’ll always be right here with us, alive in our own hearts and memories.

So if you want to live forever, figure out what it is that you feel passionate about, then follow that dream. Your passion could help make the world a better place, and go on to help others with their baggage, the way Sophia Travis was always so willing to do – and did – for so many.

More later.

Much love,

Meg

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32. Coffin Night/Back to School

It’s back to school time! I know because they just celebrated Coffin Night here in Key West.

What’s Coffin Night, you ask?

Well, it’s a Back To School ritual uniquely Key West . . . and also a subplot of the Abandon series, in which a teenage girl discovers that beneath the cemetery of the small Floridian island to which she’s recently moved lies the Underworld.

This is partly because of a young man whose corpse was never adequately buried (maybe because he never actually died. We’ll find out in the final book of the series, Awaken, due out in May 2012, God willing and the creek don’t rise).

Underworldbook
Photo courtesy of yours truly

How messed up would that be, if you started a new school this year, and you found out an UNDERWORLD existed beneath it?

I’ve had some pretty messed up back-to-school moments, but never anything THAT bad.

Anyway, every Homecoming here in Key West, the senior class builds a coffin and hides it somewhere on the island, to “bury” the competition (the junior class). If the junior class finds the coffin, they get to “burn” the seniors (literally. They burn the coffin on the field at the Homecoming game).

Of course, the real reason they’re doing all this (but the tradition goes back so long, no one remembers), is to bury the corpses that were washed away from the Key West cemetery in the a Great Havana Hurricane of October 1846, the second-strongest storm on record, a Category 5 that wiped out much of Havanna, the Keys, and swept all the way up the east coast to New York City to take out one hundred yards of the Battery, before dying down somewhere along New England.

The storm destroyed both the lighthouses in Key West, the naval hospital, and 594 of the island’s 600 other buildings, besides upending all the coffins in the cemetery, washing many of the skeletons inside out to sea. The ones that could be found had to be reburied in above ground tombs on higher ground, in what is today’s Key West’s beautiful cemetery, and popular tourist spot.

IMG_3042
Photo courtesy of yours truly

Coffin Night marks the start of every school year in Key West. It is not condoned by any school official, but it goes on anyway.

This year, it’s rumored that a responsible adult found the coffin (or at least a small decoy coffin) well before any student did, so the burning of it was thus avoided (thanks to Key West Diary for that information, and for the photo of said coffin, below).


Photo courtesy of Key West Diary

As you might have read in Key West Diary, above, even though Coffin Night got cancelled this year, there was still a lot of egg throwing. I did not choose to include the egg throwing part of Coffin Night in the Abandon series (which is set on the fictional island of Isla Huesos) because I consider sneaking around in the dark, throwing eggs (and, in some cases, bottles) at moving vehicles to be behavior more befitting of middle schoolers than high schoolers. Therefore, it had no place in my series, which is a tale of straight up paranormal mystery and romance.

Special Note: For anyone considering coming to Key West on vacation, the Coffin Night egg throwing takes place almost exclusively the first week or so of September in New Town, which is somewhat far from Old Town – where Duval Street, the main drag and tourist center of the island, is located. It can be presumed that this is because Old Town is more heavily policed, and egg throwers would immediately be caught.

Anyway, for everyone who is going back to school, we’re having a writing contest on the Meg Cabot forums. We want to hear YOUR Back to School story, whether it’s about something like Key West’s Coffin Night, trouble fitting in, a mysterious new boy (or girl) in your class, fictional, true, or whatever. The best story will receive a free Meg Cabot book of his/her choice! Users will vote on the story that is their favorite. Click
here for the details!

Meg graduating high school in 1985.  Go Panthers!
High School Graduation! I thought this was the best moment of my life. But things got even BETTER after that! Who knew?

To inspire you, I’m posting MY Back to School story below. It’s a re-print of a story of mine Seventeen Magazine ran a long time ago. I swear it’s all true! No one was as surprised as I was when, after years of struggling to fit in on the first school, I stopped trying, and . . . well, you’ll see. Enjoy:

I got it every year, just about this time: that giddy, excited feeling, that anything—anything—could happen. Sure, I’d never been the prettiest or most popular girl in my class before. But this year?

Things were going to be different.

Why shouldn’t they? Hadn’t I spent the whole summer—well, in between babysitting gigs to raise cash for that all-important back-to-school wardrobe—working out and giving up dessert so I could lose those last pesky five pounds? Not to mention laying on the roof of our carport, smothered in Coppertone with Sun-In in my hair, trying to get that healthy summer glow … no mean feat while battling a mom who kept calling me inside to empty the dishwasher.

But if I could just get him to look at me—and you all know who he was: Mr. Perfect, the guy with the locker next door to mine, who never gave me a second glance because of her, Ms. Perfect, who seemed to have achieved the ideal wardrobe, body, and highlights without the slightest bit of effort, and who was consequently glued at the hips to him—it would all have been worth it…even the hours I’d spent in the mall, attempting to replicate the cute outfits I’d seen in the pages of the two-inch thick fall issues of my favorite magazines.

And okay, by mall I mean outlet mall. But the stuff I found there looked almost exactly like the designer stuff in the photos, for a fraction of the price!

By the time the first day of school finally rolled around, and I’d strutted to the bus stop (because my friends and I had parents who couldn’t afford to buy us cars for our birthdays), I’d barely be able to contain my excitement. Sure, the guys my best friend and I rode to school with (and had known since kindergarten) pretended they didn’t notice a difference…but we didn’t miss the sidelong glances they shot us from behind their Raybans. We looked good. They knew it. We knew it.

This year, things were going to be different.

The excitement lasted all the way until I got off the bus….

And then I saw her, Ms. Perfect, getting out of the red convertible her parents had gotten her for her birthday.
She was wearing my exact same outfit…only she had the real designer stuff I’d seen in the magazines, not knock-offs from the outlet mall.

There wasn’t an ounce of spare fat on her. Her tan was all over, the result of water-skiing at the lake all summer, not hours stolen here and there on top of a carport. Her highlights were salon-perfect, not the result of at-home experimentation.

When I finally made it to my locker a few minutes later, there she was, in a liplock with him, Mr. Perfect.

And then it would hit me, all over again:

Nothing was going to be different this year. Nothing had changed. And nothing ever would.

Until, it turned out, college.

It happened the first month of college: I had finally given up on trying to be the prettiest, or the most popular. I didn’t bother tanning, or trying to lose weight, or even getting a new fall wardrobe before school started. I was more concerned about getting into the right classes and making new friends in the dorm at the massive state university I’d gotten into.

I was barreling along campus—I still didn’t have a car, but I had a kickass computer to write my novels and short stories on—so I almost didn’t see the guy until I practically ran into him, and he said my name.

I looked up, astonished. On a campus of thirty thousand people, what were the chances that, at eight thirty in the morning, I’d run into someone I knew?

But there he was: Mr. Perfect.

“I didn’t know you go here!” he cried, happily. “You look great. Hey, you should stop by the frat house tonight. We’re having a party. I’d love to see you, catch up on old times. Here’s my number.”

I stared at him, confused. Where was Ms. Perfect?

Then I remembered. They’d broken up right before graduation.

This was my big chance. Things were finally going to be different now.

“Sorry,” I heard myself saying. “I can’t. I’m busy.”

His face fell. “But—”

“I gotta go,” I said. “Sorry. Bye.”

When I got to class, I threw his number away. Because things were different now. The most important thing of all:

Me.

More later.

Much love,

Meg

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33. 9/11/2001

So, every time I don’t re-post this entry about what it was like on 9/11 in downtown Manhattan for average New Yorkers (well, me, my husband – who worked across the street from the World Trade Center – and our friends – including our friends who had kids in schools next to the Trade Center), I get messages asking why I didn’t post it.

Then every time I do post it, I get (a very few) messages from people asking why I can’t just “forget it” because it was a very painful period in our nation’s history. I understand both points of view.

However, some teachers have let me know that this post has become part of their classroom 9/11 curriculum, so the entry below is a slightly updated version. Whether you want to read it or not, do watch this amazing video (posted below) and read my remarks at the very end of this (long) post about the dangers of “forgetting.”

BOATLIFT, an Untold Tale of 9/11 Resilience, is narrated by Tom Hanks and is only 11 minutes long, and totally worth every second (you will cry, but in a good way). This video kind of continues where my 9/11 story leaves off. It describes the largest emergency evacuation in American history (500,000 people) by boat, which was on 9/11, and included some of the people who ended up in my apartment. It was conducted partly by average boat owners (who knew?)! This video is about those boats and their captains. It will give you a vivid picture of what it was like that day in downtown Manhattan, but it will also make you feel happy. (So will what’s posted below it, I hope.)

Click here to view the embedded video.

Meg’s 9/11 Diary

9/11/2001 was one of those rare days where sloth was rewarded. I know several people who are still alive today because they were late to work that morning, or stopped to get coffee to help them feel a little less groggy.

I got woken up in my apartment on 12th Street and 4th Avenue by a phone call from my friend Jen.

“Look out your window,” Jen said.

That is when I saw the smoke from the first plane.

I called my husband’s office first thing. I couldn’t see his building from our apartment, but I could see the building ACROSS from his, which was the Trade Center, and black smoke was billowing out of it.

“What was happening?” I wondered.

Jen didn’t know. No one knew.

Was he all right? I knew he worked on a really high floor, and it looked as if whatever had happened to that tower across from his, it had to be happening right in front of his office window.

I couldn’t get through to him. I couldn’t make any outgoing calls from my phone that day. For some reason, people could call me, but I couldn’t call anyone else.

It turned out this was due to the massive volume of calls going on in my part of the city that day.

But I didn’t know that then.

Sirens started up. It was the engine from the firehouse across the street from my apartment building. It was a very small firehouse. All the guys used to sit outside it on folding chairs on nice days, joshing with the neighbors who were walking their dogs, and with my doormen. The old ladies on my street always brought them cookies.

9/11/01 was a very, very nice day. The sky was a very pure blue and it was warm outside.

Now all the firemen from the station across from my apartment building were rushing out to the fire downtown.

Every last one of them would be dead in an hour. But none of us knew that then.

I turned on New York 1, the local news channel for New York City. Pat Kiernan, my favorite newscaster, was saying that a plane had hit one of the towers of the World Trade Center.

Weird, I thought. Was the pilot drunk? How could someone not see a building that big, and run into it with a plane?

It was right then that Luz, my housekeeper, showed up. I’d forgotten it was Tuesday, the day she comes to clean. When she saw what I was watching, she looked worried.

“I just dropped my son off at his college,” she said. “It’s right next to the World Trade Center.”

“My husband works across the street from the World Trade Center,” I said.

“Is he all right?” Luz wanted to know. “What’s happening down there?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I can’t reach him.”

Luz tried to call her son on his cell phone. She, too, could not get through.

We didn’t know that our cell servers used towers that were located on top of the World Trade Center, and they all had stopped working.

We both stood there staring at the TV, not really knowing what to do. It was as we were watching that something weird happened on the TV, right before our eyes: the OTHER tower — the one that hadn’t been hit — suddenly exploded.

I thought maybe one of the helicopters that was filming the disaster had gotten too close.

But Luz said, “No. A plane hit it. I saw it. That was a plane.”

I hadn’t seen a plane. I said, “No. No, how could that be? There can’t be TWO drunk pilots.”

“You don’t understand,” Luz said. “They’re doing this on purpose.”

“No,” I said. “Of course they aren’t. Who would do that?”

That’s when Pat Kiernan, on the TV, said, “Oh, my God.”

It’s weird to hear a newscaster say, “Oh, my God.” Especially Pat. He is always very professional.

Also, Pat’s voice cracked when he said it. Like he was about to cry.

But newscasters don’t cry.

“Another plane has hit the World Trade Center,” Pat said. “It looks as if another plane — a commercial jet — has hit the World Trade Center. And we are getting reports that a plane has just hit the Pentagon.”

That’s when I grabbed Luz. And Luz grabbed me. We both started to cry. We sat on the couch in my living room, hugging each other, and crying as we watched what was happening on TV, which was what was happening a dozen blocks from where we sat, where both the people we loved were.

We could see things flying out of the burning buildings. Pat said that those things were people.

That’s when my phone rang. I grabbed it, but it wasn’t my husband. It was his mother. Where was he? she wanted to know. Was he all right?

I said I didn’t know. I said I was trying to keep the line clear, in case he called. She said she understood but to call her as soon as I heard anything, and hung up.

Then the phone rang again. It was my husband’s sister-in-law. Then it rang again. It was MY mother.

The phone rang all morning. It was never my husband. It was always family or friends, wondering if he was all right.

“I don’t know,” I kept telling them. “I don’t know.”

Luz went up to the roof of my building to see if she could see anything more from there than what they were showing on New York 1. While she was gone, I went into my bedroom to get dressed (I was still wearing my pajamas).

All I could think, as I looked into my closet, trying to figure out what to wear, was that my husband was probably dead. I didn’t see how anybody could be down in that part of Manhattan and still be alive. All I could see were things falling —and people jumping — out of those buildings. Anyone on the streets down below would have to be killed by all of that.

I remember exactly what I put on that day: olive green capris and a black T-shirt, with my black Steve Madden slides. I remember thinking, “This will be my Identifying My Dead Husband’s Body outfit. I will never, ever wear it again after this day.”

I knew this because when I worked at the dorm at NYU, we had quite a few students kill themselves, in various ways. Every time a body was discovered, it was so horrible. All the people involved in the discovery could never wear the same clothes we wore that day again, because of the memory.

Luz came back down from the roof, very excited. No, she hadn’t seen if the buildings in which my husband and her son were in were all right. But she’d seen thousands — THOUSANDS — of people coming down 4th Avenue, the busy street I lived off of at the time. 4th Avenue is always crazy crowded with honking cars, buses, taxis, bike messengers, you name it.

Not today. Today all the cars and buses were gone, and the entire avenue was crowded with people.

“Walking,” Luz said. “They’re WALKING DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET.”

I ran to look out the window. Luz was right. Instead of the constant stream of cars I’d gotten used to seeing outside our living room, I saw wall to wall people. They had taken over the street. They were coming from the Battery, where the Trade Center is located, shoulder to shoulder, ten deep in the middle of the road, like a parade or a rally. There were tens of thousands of them.

There were men in business suits, and some in khakis. There were women in skirts and dresses, walking barefoot or in shredded pantyhose, holding their shoes because their high heels hurt too much and they hadn’t had time to grab their commuter running shoes. I saw the ladies who worked in the manicure shop across the street from my building running outside with the flip flops they put on their customers’ feet when they’ve had a pedicure (the flip flops the staff always make sure they get back before you leave).

But today, the staff was giving the flip flops to the women who were barefoot. They were giving away the flip flops.

That’s when I got REALLY freaked out.

The manicurists weren’t the only ones trying to help. The men who worked in the deli on the corner were running outside with bottles of water to give to the hot, thirsty marchers. New York City deli owners, GIVING water away. Usually they charged $2.

It was like the world had turned upside down.

“They have to be in there,” Luz said, about her son and my husband, pointing to the crowd. “They’re walking with them, and that’s what’s taking so long.”

Then Luz ran downstairs to see if anyone in the crowd was coming from the same college her son went to, anyone who might have seen him.

I was afraid to leave my apartment, though, because I thought my husband might try to call. Not knowing what else to do, I logged onto the computer. My email was still working, even if the phones weren’t. I emailed my husband: WHERE ARE YOU?

No reply.

A friend from Indiana had emailed to ask if there was anything she could do. At the time, the only thing I could think of was, “Give blood.”

My friend, and everyone she knew, gave blood that day. So many people gave blood that there were lines around the corner to give it.

After a month, a lot of that surplus blood had to be destroyed, because they didn’t have room to store it all. And there turned out to be no use for it, anyway. There were few survivors to give blood to.

My friend Jen, the one who’d woken me up, e’d me from her job at NYU. Fred (out of respect for this person’s desire for anonymity, I have changed his name here), one of Jen’s employees, and also a volunteer EMT, had jumped on his bike and headed downtown to see if there was anything he could do to help.

Jen herself was organizing a massive effort to set up shelter for students who didn’t live on campus, since the subways and commuter trains had stopped running, and the kids who commuted to school would have no way of getting home that night. Jen was trying to arrange for cots to be set up in the gym for them.

She ended up staying in the city too that night. She had no way to get back to her house in Connecticut.

Another co-worker from NYU, my friend Jack, did manage to reach his spouse, who worked in the Trade Center, that day. Jack used to train the RAs. He would ask me to “interrupt” his training with a fake administrative temper tantrum — “Why are you in this room?” I would demand. “You never reserved it!”— and then he and I would “fight” about it, and then after I left he would ask the RAs what would have been a better way to handle the situation . . . and by the way, did any of them remember what I was wearing? After they’d tell him, he’d have me come back into the room, and point out that every single of them was wrong about what I’d had on. This was to show how unreliable witness testimony can be.

Jack’s wife had just walked eighty floors down one of the Towers to reach the ground safely, only to realize the guys in her IT department were still up there, backing up data for the company. Once she reached the ground, and saw how bad things really were, she tried calling them to tell them to forget backing up and just COME DOWN, but couldn’t get hold of them.

So she went back up to MAKE THEM come down, because who doesn’t love their IT guys?

Why did you go back up?” Jack asked her, when he finally reached her. By that time she, along with the IT guys, had become trapped in the fire and smoke.

“It seemed like the right thing to do,” she said. Of course it did. She was married to Jack. Jack would have done the same thing. She told Jack to say good bye to their twins toddlers for her. That was the time they spoke.

I can never think of this, or of Jack’s happy, cheerful greeting every time I saw him, or the stunned looks on the RAs faces when they realized we’d pulled one over on them, without wanting to cry. It seems so unfair.

Another friend, a pilot who had access to air traffic control radar, e’d me to say all the planes in the U.S. were being grounded — that what had happened had been the result of highjackings. That it was a commercial jet that had hit the Pentagon, where my friend’s father-in-law worked (they eventually found him, safe and sound. He’d been stuck in traffic on his way to the Pentagon when the plane hit).

But another friend – a girl I’d worked with when I’d been a receptionist in my husband’s office, a girl whom I’d helped pick out a wedding dress, and who, since the big day, had quit her job to raise the four kids she’d had – wasn’t so lucky. She never saw her husband, who worked at the Trade Center, again after he left for work that morning.

Then, behind me, I heard Pat Kiernan on the TV say, “Oh, my God,” again.

And this time he really WAS crying. Because one of the towers was collapsing.

I watched, not believing my eyes. Since having moved to New York City in 1989, I had become accustomed to using the Twin Towers as my own personal compass point for the direction “South,” since they’re on the southern tip of the island, and visible from dozens of blocks away. Wherever you were in the maze of streets that made up the Village, all you had to do to orient yourself was find the Twin Towers, and you knew which direction to go in.

(If you ever watched closely during the movie “When Harry Met Sally,” you can see the towers beneath the Washington Square arch in the scene where Sally drops Harry off when they first arrive in New York.)

And now one of those towers was coming down.

I don’t remember anything else about that moment except that, as I watched the TV in horror, the front door to my apartment opened, and, assuming it was Luz back from the street, I turned to tell her, “It’s falling down! It’s FALLING DOWN!”

Only it wasn’t Luz. It was my husband.

He said, “What’s falling down? Why are you crying?”

Because HE HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON.

Because my husband, being my husband, had picked up his briefcase after the first plane hit and said, “Let’s go,” to everyone in his department, took the elevators downstairs, and insisted everyone start walking for our apartment, because it was the closest place to where they were that seemed unlikely to be hit by an airplane.

(He told me later he’d worried they were going to try for the Stock Exchange, or the federal buildings you always see on Law and Order, and so had made everyone take the long way home around those buildings, which is why it took so long to get there).

They had to dodge the bodies of the people who jumped from the burning towers because they couldn’t stand the heat anymore. They saw the desk chairs and PCs that had been blown out of the offices so high above littering the street like tickertape from a parade. They saw the second plane hit while they were on the street, and ducked into a cell phone store until the rubble from the explosion settled. A piece of plane, nearly twenty feet long, flew past them, and landed in a parking lot, just missing Trinity Church, one of the oldest churches in this country.

And they kept walking.

I don’t know what people normally do when someone they love, who they were convinced was dead, suddenly walks through the door. All I know is how I reacted: I flung my arms around him. And then I started yelling, “WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL ME?”

“I tried, I couldn’t get through,” he said. “What’s falling down?”

Because they had no idea. All they knew was that the city was under attack (which they had surmised by all the airplanes).

So my husband and his colleagues gathered in our living room—hot, thirsty, but alive, and the ones who lived in New Jersey wondering how (and if) they were going to get home (eventually, that night, they all caught boats – see the film above -and when they arrived on the Jersey side, they were hosed down by people in Haz-Mat suits, in case they were carrying “chemicals” on their clothes. At that time, there was some belief the planes might have been carrying nuclear weapons or something. They were each given a single paper towel with which to dry off).

Luz, not wanting to go home until she’d heard from her son, who was supposed to meet her after class in my building, cleaned. I told her not to, but she said it helped keep her mind off what was happening.

So she vacuumed, while eleven people sat in my two room apartment and watched the Twin Towers fall.

It wasn’t long after the second tower came down that our friends David and Susan from Indiana, who lived in a beautiful condo in the shadow of the Twin Towers with their two children, showed up at our door, their kids and half the employees from their office (which was in our neighborhood) behind them.

They had been some of the people shown on the news escaping from the massive dust cloud that erupted when the towers fell. They’d abandoned their daughter’s stroller and run for it, while shop owners tossed water on their backs as they passed by, to keep their clothes from catching on fire.

In their typical way, however, they had stopped on their way to our place to pick up some bagels.

For all they knew, their apartment was burning down, or being buried under ten feet of rubble. But they’d stopped for bagels, because they’d been worried people might be hungry. Or maybe people just do things in times like that to try to be normal. I don’t know. They didn’t forget the cream cheese, either.

I took the kids into my bedroom, where there was a second TV, because I didn’t think they should see what everyone was watching in the living room, which was footage of what they had just escaped from.

I set up my Playstation for Jake, who was seven or so at the time, to use, while Shai, just turning 4, and I did a puzzle on my floor. Both kids were worried about Mr. Fluff, their pet rabbit, whom they’d been forced to leave behind in their apartment, because there’d been no time to get him (their parents had run from work and grabbed both kids from school).

“Do you think he’s all right?” Jake wanted to know.

At the time, I didn’t see how anything south of Canal Street could be alive, but I told Jake I was sure Mr. Fluff was fine.

This was when Shai and I had the following conversation:

“Are planes going to fly into THIS building?” Shai wanted to know. She was crying as she looked out the windows of my thirteenth floor apartment.

Me: “No. No planes are going to fly into this building.”

Shai (still crying): “How do you know?”

Me: “Because all the planes are grounded. No more planes are allowed in the air.”

Shai: “Ever?”

Me: “No. Just until the bad guys who did this get caught.”

Shai: “Who’s going to catch the bad guys?”

Me: “The police will catch them.”

Shai: “No, they won’t. All the police are dead. I saw them going into the building that just fell down.”

Me (trying not to cry): “Shai. Not all the police are dead.”

Shai (crying harder): “Yes, they ARE. I SAW THEM.”

Me (showing Shai a picture from my family photo album of a policeman in his uniform): “Shai, this is my brother, Matt. He’s a policeman. And he’s not dead, I promise. And he, and other policemen like him, and probably even the Army, will catch the bad guys.”

Shai (no longer crying): “Okay.”

And she went back to her puzzle.

Watching from my living room window, we saw the crowds of people streaming out from what was soon to be called Ground Zero, thin to a trickle, then stop altogether. That was when 4th Avenue became crowded with vehicular traffic again. But not taxis or bike messengers.

Soon, our building was shaking from the wheels of hundreds of Humvees and Army trucks, as the National Guard moved in. The Village was blockaded from 14th Street down. You couldn’t come in or out without showing proof that you lived there (a piece of mail with your name and address on it, along with a photo ID).

The next day, after having spent the night on our fold-out couch in the living room, Shai’s parents snuck back to their apartment (they had to sneak, because the National Guard wasn’t letting anyone at all, even with proof that they lived there, into the area. For weeks afterwards, on every corner from 14th Street down, stood a National Guardsman, armed with an assault rifle. For days, you couldn’t get milk, bread, or a newspaper below Union Square because they weren’t allowing any delivery trucks — or any vehicles at all, except Army vehicles — into the area), and found Mr. Fluff alive and well.

They snuck him back out, so that later that day, we were able to put the entire family on a bus to the Hamptons, where they lived for the rest of the year.

As my husband and I were walking back to our apartment from the bus stop where we’d seen off our friends, we saw a familiar face standing on the corner of 4th Avenue and 12th Street, where we lived:

Bill Clinton and his daughter Chelsea Clinton, asking people in our neighborhood if we were all right, and if there was anything they could do to help.

I didn’t go up to shake the ex-President’s hand, because I was too shy.

But I stood there watching him and Chelsea, and something about seeing them, so genuinely concerned and kind (and not there for press or publicity, because there WAS no press, there was never any mention of their visit AT ALL in any newspaper or on any news broadcast I saw that day), made me burst into tears, after having held them in the whole time Shai had been in my apartment, since I didn’t want to upset her.

But you couldn’t NOT cry. It was impossible. Everyone was doing it …so much so that the deli across the street put a sign in its window: “No Crying, Please.” Our doormen were crying. Even Rudy Giuliani, New York City’s mayor (whom I will admit up until this crisis I had not particularly liked for cheating on his very nice wife, Donna Hanover, who used to be on the Food Network), kept crying.

But he also kept showing up on New York 1, no matter what time you turned it on, even at two in the morning, there he was, like he never slept, always crying but also telling us It’s going to be all right, which was BRILLIANT.

The same day we put Shai and her family on a bus to the Hamptons, September 12 — which also happened to be poor Shai’s birthday — companies (even RIVAL companies) all over Manhattan offered up their conference rooms and spare offices to my husband’s company, so that it would be able to remain in business, since all its windows had been blown out, and asbestos had fallen all over everything.

Since he was the only person in the company who lived downtown, my husband was elected for the duty of removing all the sensitive data from the now mostly destroyed office, which meant he had to pass through the Brooks Brothers in his building’s foyer, from which he had bought so many of his business shirts and ties. The Brooks Brothers was now serving as Ground Zero’s morgue.

While under escort of the National Guard, he and guardsmen–the first to enter his floor since the event–found a body in an emergency stairwell. It was determined to be the body of someone from another office, who had probably suffered a heart attack while trying to evacuate. The body was removed and taken to the morgue while my husband watched. (He threw away the clothes he wore that day.)

For the next week in Lower Manhattan, even if you wanted to forget, for a minute, what had happened on that cloudless Tuesday morning, you couldn’t. The front window of my apartment building filled with Missing Person posters of loved ones that had been lost in the Trade Center. The outside walls of St. Vincent’s Hospital were papered with them as well, and Union Square, at 14th Street, became an impromptu memorial to the dead, filled with candles and flowers. So did the front doors of every local fire station, including the one across the street from my building. The old ladies who used to bring cookies there stood in front of it and cried.

You couldn’t go outside during that week — until it finally rained Friday night, four days later – without smelling the acrid smoke from Ground Zero … and, in fact, you were encouraged to wear surgical masks outdoors. An eerie grey fog covered everything. Some of us tried to brave it by not wearing masks — like Londoners in the Blitz — meeting for lunch like nothing had happened, but it made your eyes burn. I have no idea how the rescue workers at Ground Zero could bear it.

It wasn’t until employees from a barbecue restaurant drove all the way to Manhattan from Memphis, and stationed their tanker-sized smokers right next to Ground Zero, and then started giving away free barbecue to all the rescue workers there for weeks on end, that the smell changed to something other than death. Everyone loved those guys. It was just barbecue. Except it wasn’t just barbecue. It was a sign that things were going to be all right.

But of course, for a lot of New Yorkers that day, things were never going to be all right again. While I was celebrating the fact that my husband had come home, Fred – Jen’s employee, the EMT who had ridden his bike downtown to see if there was anything he could do – couldn’t find his crew. This was before the buildings fell, before anyone had any idea those buildings COULD fall, when the police and firemen were still streaming into them, thinking they could get people out.

The crew that Fred normally volunteered with were inside one of those buildings, helping people down the stairs. Fred couldn’t find them, because all the cell towers were down, and communication was so sketchy. Someone told Fred to drive a bus they’d found, and help evacuate people out of the World Trade Center area.

Fred didn’t want to be outside driving a bus. He wanted to be inside with his crew, saving people.

But since he couldn’t find his crew, he agreed to drive the bus.

Then the buildings came down. Later, Fred found out that the crew he normally volunteered with had been one of the many rescue squads buried under the rubble.

Like a lot of the rescue workers who lost coworkers in the attack, Fred seemed to feel guilty about having survived, while his friends had not. Even when all his NYU co-workers pitched in and bought him a new bike (after his old one got crushed at Ground Zero), Fred couldn’t seem to shake his sadness. It was like he didn’t believe he’d done any good that day.

“All I did,” he said, “was drive a stupid bus.”

But that’s not all he did. Because remember Luz’s son?

Well, he showed up at my apartment not long after Jake and Shai and their parents did. Luz grabbed him and kissed him and shook him and cried, and when she finally let go of him, he told his story:

He had been heading towards — not away from – the towers, because he’d wanted to help, he said. A lot like Fred.

But suddenly, from out of nowhere, someone grabbed him from behind, and threw him onto a stupid bus.

“But I want to stay and help!” Luz’s son yelled at the guy who’d grabbed him.

“Not today,” Fred said.

And he drove Luz’s son, and all the other students from that community college to safety, just before the towers fell.

Now more than a decade has passed since 9/11. A year or two after finding that body, after the company he worked for got back on its feet, my husband decided financial writing wasn’t for him, and he decided to follow a lifelong dream: he enrolled in the French Culinary Institute in Manhattan. He got to work with chefs like Jacques Pepin. At his graduation, Michael Lamonaco–who ran Windows on the World, the restaurant at the top of the Twin Towers. Michael is another person who happened to be late to work on 9/11–offered him a job in his new restaurant.

My husband declined, however, because we were moving to Key West, where the pace of life is a little bit slower. Michael said he completely understood.

Luz and her son are doing fine. Fred is now married with two children, and head of his own division at NYU. Mr. Fluff did eventually die, but of natural causes. Jake is now in college, and Shai is a skilled snowboarder. Shai’s mother says her daughter has no memory whatsoever of that day, or of the conversation she and I had, or of the promise I made her — that we’d catch the bad guys.

Shai, however, says she does remember our conversation, and that I was right: we did catch the bad guys. There might still be some out there, because you can never catch of all them. But we’re trying.

Not long ago, someone asked an interesting question at a dinner party. If you could take a pill that would make you forget your worst memories, would you do it?

I don’t think I would. Though some pretty terrible things have happened to me in my life (that I prefer not to write about because in my opinion, books are for fun, therapy is for the bad stuff), the memories of those things have helped shape who am I.

Of course I would prefer it if one of those memories wasn’t that 3,000 people were murdered across the street from my husband’s place of work by a bunch of religious whackjobs.

But though I’d prefer it 9/11 had never happened, I think it’s important that we always remember it. Because by forgetting history, we are dooming others – and ourselves – to repeat it. I never want it to happen again, in my or anyone else’s lifetime.

So, that’s why I will keep posting this.

More later.

Much love,

Meg

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34. What I Learned On My Summer Vacation (Book Tour)

I just spent the past two weeks crisscrossing the US (well, mostly just the Midwest. I did West coast and East coast last summer, so it was the Midwest’s turn) on my book tour to promote Size 12 and Ready to Rock . . . which, just to get this out of the way, you can buy now for a special sales price of $7.99 everywhere ebooks are sold! Also, the first three ebooks in the series are only $4.99! My publisher is calling this the “Size 12 Days of Summer” sale.

This was my idea ^^^^^! I know, I should work for Target or something, I LOVE making up the names of special sales promotions!

(When I worked in a bookstore, I also loved making the window displays. Sometimes I would put one rude thing in it to see how long it took someone to notice. Often no one ever would. People don’t see what they’re not expecting!)

I know how people love having cute fun mysteries (with a dash of sexy romance) to read in the summertime. I long for these to read as I’m whiling away the long hot summer days, too!

(Actually right now all I’m longing for is some free time to while away, but whatever.)

Anyway, my book tour was an amazing mid-summer adventure and a smash hit (at least to me). Everywhere I went, readers defied the 100+ degree heat and turned out in what seemed to me (and to my publisher) like droves.

Over 400 people were at the Des Moines Public Library event (Des Moines! How fun were you? So much fun!), and over 500 attended the Cuyahoga Public Library in Cleveland! (OMG Cuyahoga! I still can’t spell or pronounce you but I love you!)

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Awesome photo, whoever took this! Glamour girls with glamour background!

I had some fantastic signings at bookstores, too, like at Joseph-Beth’s in Cincinnati, Books and Co in Dayton, Schuler’s in Lansing, MI, and the Carmel, IN Barnes and Noble!

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Schuler’s! And Whitney, the manager! Whitney rules! Why am I doing this with my face though? I don’t know.

Here are some of the highlights of my trip, and some of the valuable life lessons I learned along the way, which I hope, will you, as well:

There seem to be quite a few eight year olds out there in America who are concerned that they haven’t been published yet.

I know there are some 8 year olds who’ve gotten published. Believe me, I’ve met some of them. But here’s a little known secret:

The vast majority of them never published another book again.

If you want a long-lasting publishing career, I think the best way to spend your tweens and teens and early twenties isn’t worrying about getting published, but figuring out who you are and what you’re good at, experimenting with your style, and developing your own voice—in other words, just live your life.

As Heather Wells states in Size 12 and Ready to Rock, our brain doesn’t become fully formed until age 25 (if you don’t believe her, click here).

This could explain a lot (like why a certain under-25 starlet recently confessed to a fling with a certain married movie direct

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35. Heather Wells is Ready to Rock

It’s been a crazy week! Between the wildfires in the west, the storms in the northeast, and Tom and Katie, it’s starting to look like the Mayans might have been right about 2012.

But the Mayans didn’t count on brave firefighters, power company workers, and Katie’s crack legal team. So we shouldn’t pack our bags to run off with John Cusack quite yet.

I have to pack a bag, but only to leave for my two week long book tour (click on the link to see if I’ll be visiting somewhere near you, and if I am, stop by to see me!) for my new book, Size 12 and Ready to Rock which will be out on TUESDAY (YAY!!!). So I’m going to make this quick.

But look what was found in the vaults of the Cartwright Records building as they were remodeling to make way for the new Cartwright Televsion division:

Click here to view the embedded video.

I know! Heather Wells thought she’d never have to see that thing again, especially now that she’s quit the music business to work in residence life in a New York City college dorm and solve murders there.

But now, thanks to the Internet, this video is EVERYWHERE, mocking her!

Personally I think Heather is being too modest, and this video is hilarious (special thanks to the ultra amazing Brady Hall and his team, everyone at Avon/HarperMorrow, also my own home team of Laura, Louis, and HWSNBNITB, and especially Janey, whose idea it was). Please do me a favor and forward this video to everyone you know, before Heather takes out a cease-and-desist.

I get so many emails and Facebook messages and Tweets asking for more books about amateur sleuth Heather (way more than any other series, except possibly The Mediator), that I couldn’t resist signing up to write a few more books about her.

Heather isn’t just popular in the US. She’s popular all over the world. Here are a few of her international covers. I would like it noted that I’m not sure what is going on in most of these covers. Heather never loses weight. She is a victim of vanity sizing. Nor is she a prostitute. She solves crimes. But like Heather, I go with the flow:

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As to WHY I think readers connect with Heather, I speculate a bit here on Huffington Post.

But who really knows? How can you not love someone who’s been beat up a little by life, but keeps getting back up again . . . and of course, who then catches murders?

Of course, tastes vary. I’ve got a friend who’s become a little anti-princess since she became a mom, and is trying to raise her daughter to be princess-free. I’ve blogged about my feelings on this subject before (I believe in princess power), so Barbara Chai at The Wall Street Journal asked my thoughts on the new Pixar-Di

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36. Ready to Rock Tour, Book, Giveaways, etc

It’s here! The very first copy of the first Heather Wells mystery in five years, Size 12 and Ready to Rock, is in my hands!

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Unfortunately, I only have this ONE copy. The rest won’t be released in the US/Canada until July 10.

But you can read the first three chapters (and find out why is Heather posing with a bunch of dolls, including Miss Mexico) here, as well as pre-order hard or e-book copies (or wherever else you shop for books).

So I’m hearing that if you haven’t read the first three books in the Heather Wells series, you don’t have to worry: It’s easy to catch up with what’s going on with Heather’s life in Ready to Rock (at least according to what people are saying on goodreads.com (where I SWEAR I only went because they’re very nicely giving away 10 free copies of the book, and I wanted to be sure to tell you about it, and I wanted to give you ACCURATE information about the dates of the giveaway: It’s from now until July 9. I wasn’t looking at my reviews. OK, I might have peeked).

But apparently, you can just jump right in with this one. (I didn’t do this on purpose at all. OK, I did).

I don’t know why there was a five year gap between the last Heather Wells book and this one (except maybe because I started a couple of other series in between. Hi, Allie Finkle and Abandon!).

But in the books, only three months have gone by for Heather and Cooper and the rest of their friends. That’s the fun thing about fiction: We age, but our characters don’t have to. Thank God, because if they did, then Yoda would have to play Batman instead of Christian Bale this summer.

Speaking of which, a lot of people have been asking about my summer plans. So just in case you’re wondering, too, after going on my Ready to Rock book tour (more on that below), I’ll be doing exactly what all of YOU will be doing:

Working (writing the sequel to Underworld, which I’m just reminding you will be called Awaken. OK, I’m reminding MYSELF), going to movies, watching TV, hanging out with friends and trying not to eat too much (and failing), and reading all the amazing books that are coming out this summer, some of which are anthologies I contributed to (so I can say they’re amazing because I know some of the authors, and I think they’re amazing, not my own stories, duh, I’m not saying MY stories are amazing, though I did work super hard on them because I wanted them to be as amazing as the stories of the authors I was competing against working with, right it’s not a contest).

So, first things first. Here’s where I will be this summer. If you’ll be in any of these towns, too, PLEASE COME SEE ME! I hate sitting alone in bookstores (although it does give me a chance to catch up with my Real Housewife celebrity memoir reading. Obviously I don’t buy this, I sit and read them while I wait to go on before book tour stops in the stores. This is also how I read the entire Left Behind series and Eat for Your Blood Type):

Meet Meg on her Super Sized Ready to Rock Tour This Summer!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Des Moines, IA

7:00 PM


AVID Festival 
Des Moines Public Library
Hoyt Sherman Place

1501 W

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37. Cover Story

Questions! Have I read Shades of Grey? How do my book covers get chosen? Will there be a spanking robot in the next Underworld book? When’s my next book tour? How’s Henrietta? Etc.

I wasn’t able to get to all of your questions during my live video chat on Goodreads (but thanks to all of you who came! I hope you got to see Henrietta—her visit might have gotten cut off at the end due to her dislike of human contact), so I thought I’d try to answer some of the rest of them here. So here goes:

Q: Have you read the new Twilight fan-fiction re-styled into the mega bestseller Shades of Grey?

A: No, I have not, but thanks for asking! Right now I’m still hooked on reading British country manor house murder mysteries (I’m also hooked on the Sherlock re-tellings on Masterpiece Mystery. OMG SHERLOCK!!!!! Even HWSNBNITB watches it without falling asleep. Now that’s masterful storytelling).

But I’m always happy when any book by a woman is topping the charts, especially when it’s a story about two people who find love (aka a romance), so kudos to EL James and happy reading to her fans.

It does cheese me off a bit that her fans have been getting some flak in the press (“Mommy Porn?” Gross. What is that? And is “Daddy Porn” Cinemax After Dark? I guess so).

No one should get made fun of for their reading choices. I used to read nothing but romance novels in college (in preparation for writing my own, now out of print but you can still find them occasionally in used book stores. Read about them here) and people used to make fun of me for it …until the day I found the book that featured the hot space mercenary who was hired by the intergalactic council to save their princess from the cruel emperor who had hooked her up to…

…a spanking robot.

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Hi I’m here to rescue you…hey, what’s that robot doing? I WILL DESTROY IT after first using it on myself.

As soon as I told people the plot of this book, EVERYONE in my dorm wanted to borrow it (sorry, one of the borrowers stole it so I no longer remember what it was called or who wrote it but it was AMAZING). Soon a huge romance reading craze was started (which included lesbian and gay romance), which obviously blossomed into a drinking game (hey, it was college), the particulars of which I will not get into on this site, but think the New Girl True American drinking game and you will have the gist. You can pretty much start a drinking game based on anything.

Hopefully by now everyone has seen the New York Times article on the neuroscience of “Your Brain on Fiction,” explaining that research shows:

“Stories stimulate the brain and even change how we act in life. Individuals who frequently read fiction seem to be better able to understand other people, empathize with them and see the world from their perspective. This relationship persisted even after the researchers accounted for the possibility that more empathetic individuals might prefer reading novels.”

If you need recs of good spanking robot books, or maybe something like 50 Shades, or even a good country manor house mystery, visit the

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38. Spring Breakaggedon 2012

Spring is here (officially, if not temperature wise in most places), and you know what that means:

1) School’s out for Spring Break in a lot of places, so Key West (where I live) is packed with vacationers.

2) Some of those vacationers are staying in my house!

3) But that doesn’t mean new books aren’t getting written (and read and reviewed. More on these below)!

4) Official sneak peek excerpts are getting posted (see below) and Advanced Reader Copies are being released (again, see below)!

5) Ladies Fussypants and Slutty McSluts-a-Lot are ready to party.

During what I’m calling “Spring Breakaggedon 2012,” Lady Fussypants has already managed to develop a nasty addiction to catnip . . . .

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EXPOSED: SNIFFING THE NIP!

. . . and Lady Slutty McSluts-a-Lot has been caught red-pawed in the company of several highly inappropriate suitors with whom she has been spied cavorting in the backyard, and from whom she has picked up some very unladylike habits . . .

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CAUGHT IN A BOX!

Both have disgraced the House of Downton Cabot. We fear an advantageous marriage will now be impossibility for either of them. More on their slow descent into madness later.

On a brighter note, Underworld is officially on its way to a bookstore, Kindle, Nook (or whatever form of reader you prefer) near you! It will be available in the US and Canada on May 8th.

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Henrietta during one of her more lucid moments

For those of you who can’t wait, click here for a sneak peek at the first two chapters of Underworld!

For the date Underworld is coming to your country, click here (coming soon).

What will happen to Pierce and John in Underworld? A LOT. In answer to one of your many frequently asked questions, yes, someone dies at the end.

But Spring is about rebirth/reawakening, so the real question is, will he/she STAY dead?

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Release the Kracken!

On March 20 (the first day of Spring. Get it? The day Persephone was released from the Underworld?), I received a big box of uncorrected proofs, also known as ARCs, from Scholastic. There was much celebrating! Lady Fussypants even laid down the catnip pipe in honor of the occasion.

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Some of you have already won copies of these ARCs, like Katie, whose amazing Pinterest board won our Meg Cabot Pinterest contest!

(Click here to see links to all the fabulous finalists!)

And one amazingly generous bidder won

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39. Help a Book Lover in Need!

Just a quick post since I am (as always) on deadline!

Tons of authors (including this one) are offering up autographed books to raise money for the Red Cross for the recent Midwest tornado victims, many of whom lost everything, but especially their school libraries!

Here’s your chance to be a hero not just to book lovers in need, but whole families! And you get something GREAT out of it (besides a warm fuzzy feeling). Bid on one or more of these signed books these authors have generously donated to Authors for Henryville (Indiana)!

Click here!

All the money will go to the Red Cross, and YOU will get an amazing autographed book (or series of books) by your favorite author(s)!

The auction will run until there are no more books, and/or until we have stamped out tornadoes (sp?) FOREVER! (OK, maybe not that last thing.)

I’m donating a complete signed set of The Princess Diaries (this auction happening now! Bid soon!):

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A complete signed set of the Size 12 is Not Fat series, with an ARC of Size 12 and Ready to Rock to come! (this book will be out this summer):

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A complete signed set of The Mediator series (this auction happening now! Bid soon!):

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A complete signed set of the Insatiable series:

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And a signed copy of Abandon, with an ARC of Underworld to come (Underworld will be out in May)!

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So stay tuned to the Authors for Henryville site to watch for these signed books, and many more by many of your favorite authors, as they come up for auction!

Remember, every little bit helps!

You may not actually have been born a Hoosier* or live in Indiana now, but we Hoosier authors COMPLETELY appreciate your help! Donating automatically makes you an honorary Hoosier.** THANK YOU!

More later.

Much love,

Meg

*Hoosier = anyone born in or who lives in Indiana. No one really knows why.
** Or not, if you don’t want to be. Totally up to you.

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40. Recap of Downton Cabot

This has been a very tumultuous week at Downton Cabot. Here are the things you need to know if you want to keep up:

Lady Henrietta “Fussypants” Cabot has begun rising before 7AM every morning, insisting on being fed Whiska Temptations by hand.

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Portrait of Lady Fussypants in the Powder Room, waiting for hand feeding

As there is no butler (I tried to hire one, but annoyingly, he wishes to remain with his current employer. Ungrateful wretch!), and I do not rise until 8AM (preferably 10AM) at the earliest, this is annoying.

The local surgeon (mobile vet) has been consulted to see if Lady Fussypants’ odd behavior can be explained (she’s also begun to express sympathy with a local street cat who claims to be the amnesiatic heir to Downton Cabot, and has had an affair with a married farm cat for which she’s yet to express the slightest remorse).

Hen2
Lady Fussypants, caught in scandal!

Meanwhile, Lady Fussypants’s sister, Lady Gem “Slutty-McSlut-A-Lot” Cabot, killed a visiting Turkish noblecat with her vagina. Obviously none of us knew such a thing was possible, but somehow she managed it.

(Technically she might have done it with another orifice. The details are a bit sketchy.)

Like her sister, no remorse has been expressed, except remorse that killing a Turk with her vagina has made it impossible for her to marry the cat of her dreams.

Gem3
GUILTY!

Just when we thought things were calming down, the Spanish Influenza broke out. The local surgeon (for humans) was summoned to Downton Cabot.

“My God,” the surgeon cried, looking at that weird thermometer they stick in your ear at the doctor’s office. “100.7? You’ve got a fever! Does your throat hurt?”

Me: “Wait. I’m actually sick for once? This is awesome!”

“She always thinks she’s sick,” He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Blog explained, and pulled a list from his shirt pocket. “Let me tell you the diseases she thinks she’s had in the past few weeks. Spinal meningitis, dengue fever, that thing you get from cleaning out the litter box, walking pneumonia, whatever kind of cancer it was that guy had in the movie 50/50—”

Me (to doctor): “SHOULD my throat hurt? Are sore throats going around?”

Doctor: “Here, take Tamiflu if your body begins to ache. How long have you felt sick?”

Me: “How would I know? I just sit in bed all day reading my own writing and hand feeding Whiska Temptations to my 20 year old demented cat. I always feel sick. Wouldn’t you?”

Doctor: “Good point.”

Husband: “—whatever they got in the movie Contagion, whatever all the people have in Rise of the Planet of the Apes, every disease anyone has ever had on Dr. G. Medical Examiner—”

Gem2
Lady McSlut-A-Lot retires to her bed of Padded Envelopes in shame

Hen3
Lady Fussypants is

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41. What A Girl Wants

The first month of the year is already gone and I haven’t even bought a 2012 wall calendar yet for my office.

But what do you do when you get to OfficeMax and the only calendar choices left over in the store are Indy 500 and Glee? No offense to either of these fine institutions but sometimes I fall asleep in my office (aka my bed). I do not want to wake up and see a car crash or Mr. Shu looking at me first thing in the morning.

Although it’s a bit ironic because I’m from Indiana (home of the Indy 500), and I just found out from D-Listed that Heather Morris (Brittany from Glee) and I have the same birthday (making us both February 1st D-Listed Birthday Sluts). Which I should have known because Brittany and I have so much in common, given our mutual love of cats, rainbows, and unicorns.

Since I didn’t get what I wanted for my birthday (a cat, rainbow, and unicorn office wall calendar, or to wake up in the body of mixed martial artist Carla Gugino), I decided to order Rob O’Neal’s wall calendar online. He’s a local Key West photographer who was badly injured in a scooter accident. All the proceeds from sales of his calendar to go to help his recovery. His photos of the ocean are very soothing to wake up to, I find.

Anyway, I was so touched by how many of you wrote to wish me a happy birthday! You’ve already made my year, and the year’s just getting started! There’s still so much to do before I leave for my mini-book tour for the release of Overbite in paperback on February 7 though!

OVERBITE Italian
Overbite’s sexy Italian cover

I have to, for instance, learn how to become a mixed-martial arts expert like the guys in Warrior (which the Oscars ignored, except for Nick Nolte. Whatever, Oscars! And no best supporting actor for the guy who played the monkey in Rise of the Planet of Apes? I give up).


It’s gonna be OK, buddy. Look, my arm grew back from last year.

I’m leaving for Dallas, TX (LOVE YOU DALLAS) where I’ll be on Saturday, February 18 from NOON to 3:30PM (check it out! This event had a time change!) for Tea at The Adolphus on 1321 Commerce St!

(Actually, with the time change, this is now more of a lunch. YUM)

I hope I’ll see you there! There are still some tables left, so click here to make a reservation!

What you’ll get if you go to this event:

*A delicious lunch.

*One of the first copies of Overbite in paperback, signed (I’ll sign all your other books, too. Even books not written be me. I’ve done it before. Sorry, JK Rowling, the kid was convinced I was you. Also, I signed that copy of Webster’s Dictionary. I wasn’t going to tell that kid no.)

*An edifying talk about unicorns princesses Keynesian economic theory writing, the creative process, how to get published, and live your dream. Or at least how to deal with the fact that you are not a mixed-martial arts fighter (yet) but that dream could still come true if you get a

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42. Twitter and Facebook Qs Answered

I love reading all your comments and questions on Facebook and Twitter. But some of them require answers that are too long to write in 140 characters. And let’s face fact: I write 55,000-100,000 word books for a living. It’s hard for me to write anything in 140 characters.

So I thought I would try to answer a few questions from Twitter and Facebook here. Who knows? Maybe you’ll see one of yours. Or a friend will see yours, and Tweet you about it. That is what social media is all about!

From Malena
Hi Meg? What are you going to be for Halloween?

Am I the only person freaking out because Halloween is this week and I still haven’t figured out what my costume is going to be? I did come up with one, but when I showed it to some people, no one knew what I was until I explained. See if you can figure it out:

designall.dll

Get it? I’m one of those people who always writes “First” under an online news story whenever he/she is the first one to comment.

OK, never mind, maybe I’ll just go as a witch again, like last year.

From Ana Christina
Helo Meg, how is your cat Henrieta doing? We haven’t heard about her in a while.

Well, thank you for asking, Ana Christina. Henrietta has a bit of arthritis, and now requires special stairs so that she can reach the side of the bathtub on which she likes to stand to drink out of the caps from water bottles, which are the only receptacle from which she will consume liquid. But other than that (and being completely insane) she is doing well.

IMG_3110

From Cristen
Hey Meg, I was wondering if you happened to know when Underworld is coming out because the suspense is killing me!

Dear Cristen,
The suspense is killing me too! I’m glad you want to know more about Pierce and John (and this is a good time of year to wonder about them, since Coffin Night just took place here in Key West! Once again, no coffin burners were actually caught)! Look for Underworld, the sequel to Abandon, in stores in May 2012.

From @janelleminniti
Hanging out for @megcabot to release the next heather wells book…..

Dear Janelle,
That’s funny, because my editor and I were just hanging out, trying to pick a cover for Heather Wells #4! I’d show you what we finally decided on, but then, of course, I would have to kill you. Size 12 and Ready to Rock will be out in late Summer 2012!

From Daphne
I just finished “Overbite” and it was really engrossing! Loved everything about it. I would love to see/read about what happens to them next!! ♥

Thanks Daphne! I’m super glad you liked it. The ending of Overbite certainly left the door open for a third book (with a very intriguing premise for a heavenly love triangle . . . ha ha get it? Heavenly?), but for now I’m concentrating on Heather Wells and the Abandon sequels (and maybe some other surprises if I drink enough caffeine).

From Sanny Appy Gal
Hey Meg!! I love all your books. From the first word I read in the first Princess Diaries Series I fell in love with all your books! I always wanted to know where you get all those awesome ideas!! Can you share your secret?

Good question Sa

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43. Bits ‘n Bans ‘n Birthdays

Hi! Well, it’s officially fall. School has started, all of our favorite shows are back on (and some new ones have been added—check below for some completely partial reviews!), and some new books have come out (not any of mine, except the anthology I’m taking part in. Which, if you want to see me talk about LIVE—via Skype—at the United Nations, you can win tickets to! Just click here).

Fall also traditionally brings us the birthday of the most FANTASTIC PERSON IN THE WORLD (again, I am completely partial), someone with whom some of you might be familiar. . . He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Blog.

Yes! It is true! On October 5, HWSNBNITB will be half a century old (just like George Clooney, HWSNBNITB was born in 1961, obviously the best year for men).

As you can tell by this recent photo, HWSNBNITB is still filled with youth, vitality, and many other things:


(Yes, HWSNBITB still refuses to allow me to mention him or put his photo on my blog. I thought you would enjoy looking at this photo of George Clooney instead. HWSNBNITB is actually younger by six months than George, but of course a better cook and even more handsome and erudite)

So I hope you will join me in wishing HWSNBITB a happy birthday (only you can’t go to his Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, Linked In, or Google + pages because he is old school and doesn’t have any of those things. You will just have to wish him happy birthday to the air).

To celebrate, we are going to do super fun things, many of which I am almost done planning (birthday plans should never be left up to me).

Fall also brings us Banned Book Week, a very important week that has passed (another example of my planning) when the American Library Association celebrates the importance of the First Amendment (the freedom to access information and express ideas, even if the information and ideas might not be your personal cup of tea).

But as we scan the lists of the Most Banned Books in America, it’s important to remember that the vast majority of books disappearing from our library shelves are not even on these lists!

Why?

Because library patrons (and parents) have caught on that rather than going to all the trouble of asking for an official ban, it’s much easier simply to remove the offending book from the library and pay the fine.

The library rarely has the budget to replace the missing book with a new one of the same title. The book is gone, and 7 – 15 bucks later, nobody’s the wiser.

For every book challenge that’s been reported, research suggests at least as many as four to five have gone unreported, and who knows how many books have simply gotten “banished” due to material inside that a single patron found personally distasteful!**

**Thanks to Author’s Guild Board of Directors member Rachel Vail for the above data.

How can you help libraries get more money so they can replace books that have been “banished?” Contribute when you hear your local library is having a book drive (every penny counts), and enter your zip code here:






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44. Please Add This to Your Wishlist!

What do authors Alexander McCall Smith, R.L. Stine, John Green, Ann M. Martin, Cornelia Funke, Jeanne DuPrau, Mia Farrow, Karen Hesse, Joyce Carol Oates, Nate Powell, Sofia Quintero, Francisco X. Stork, Cynthia Voigt, Nikki Giovanni, Marilyn Nelson, Naomi Shihab Nye, Gary Soto, Jane Yolen, and me have in common?

We all have a book out today! It’s called What You Wish For.

We each contributed a story or poem for this book to the The Book Wish Foundation for free, so that 100% of their proceeds would go to the UN Refugee Agency!

That means if you buy a copy, you’ll be helping to build libraries all the way across the world, where they barely have any books, let alone libraries, or even pizza.

And if you buy a copy through this link, 100% of their net profits from the sale will go directly to the Book Wish Foundation, so they’ll get even more funds than they would if you bought a copy anywhere else.

So what are you going to do today? I think you should make sure you get a copy of What You Wish For, which contains “captivating, inspiring, sometimes creepy and ofttimes funny stories and poems” that “offer hope about things we all wish for.”

Not to mention, my story has romance AND pizza in it, both of which the world needs a lot more of (it goes without saying it needs more books and libraries).

Thanks for reading!

More later.

Much love,

Meg

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45. Ten Years

Sunday will be the tenth anniversary of 9/11. For those of you who don’t know, my husband (also known as He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Blog) was working in an office building across the street from the Twin Towers, and was sitting at his desk when the first plane hit.

I’m going to re-post an entry I wrote a while ago about the experience my husband and I shared on 9/11, not because I think it’s so well-written or anything, but because I think the memories from that day shouldn’t be forgotten.

But I also know that some people come to this blog looking for an escape from bad memories, not to relive them (hey, that’s why I come here, too). So for all of you, I’m also posting a link to this Back To School quiz. May the Force be with you.

For the rest of you, here is this:

On 9/11 I got woken up in my Greenwich Village apartment by a phone call from my friend Jen. I was still asleep when the first plane hit. 9/11/2001 was one of those rare days where sloth was rewarded. I know several people who are still alive today because they were late to work that morning, or stopped to get coffee to help them feel a little less groggy.

“Look out your window,” Jen said.

That is when I saw the smoke.

I called my husband’s office first thing. I couldn’t see his building from our apartment, but I could see the building ACROSS from his, which was the Trade Center, and black smoke was billowing out of it.

What was happening? I wondered. Jen didn’t know. No one knew.

Was he all right? I knew he worked on a really high floor, and it looked as if whatever had happened to that tower across from his, it had to be happening right in front of his office window.

I couldn’t get through to him. I couldn’t make any outgoing calls from my phone that day. For some reason, people could call me, but I couldn’t call anyone else.

It turned out this was due to the massive volume of calls going on in my part of the city that day.

But I didn’t know that then.

Sirens started up. It was the engine from the firehouse across the street from my apartment building. It was a very small firehouse. All the guys used to sit outside it on folding chairs on nice days, joshing with the neighbors who were walking their dogs, and with my doormen. The old ladies on my street always brought them cookies.

9/11/01 was a very, very nice day. The sky was a very pure blue, not a single cloud, and it was warm outside.

Now all the firemen from the station across from my apartment building were rushing out to the fire downtown.

Every last one of them would be dead in an hour. But none of us knew that then.

I turned on New York 1, the local news channel for New York City. Pat Kiernan, my favorite newscaster, was saying that a plane had hit one of the towers of the World Trade Center.

Weird, I thought. Was the pilot drunk? How could someone not see a building that big, and run into it with a plane?

It was right then that Luz, my housekeeper, showed up. I’d forgotten it was Tuesday, the day she comes to clean. When she saw what I was watching, she looked worried.

“I just dropped my son off at his college,” she said. “It’s right next to the World Trade Center.”

“My husband works across the street from the World Trade Center,” I said.

“Is he all right?” Luz wanted to know. “What’s happening down there?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I can’t reach him.”

Luz tried to call her son on his cell phone. She, too, could not get through.

We didn’t know that our cell servers used towers that were located on top of the World Trade Center, and they all had stopped working.

We both stood there staring at the TV, not really knowing what to do. It was as we were watching that something weird happened on the TV, right before our eyes:

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46. Dog Days

Right now we’re in what is commonly referred to as the Dog Days of Summer.

I used to think people called this time of year “the dog days” because it’s so hot, even dogs don’t want to move from their nice comfy spot in the shade.

But it’s actually because historically, August was when Sirius, the Dog Star, was the brightest star in the sky.

So everyone back in olden times thought Sirius was to blame for bringing all the heat.

They didn’t know about meteorology and seasons and stuff like that. They also thought the reason winter came was because Hades had kidnapped Persephone, the daughter of goddess of the harvest, and was forcing her to live with him in the underworld. So the goddess of the harvest was so mad, she was making it cold.

Oh, old timey people. You make me laugh.

So what the old timey people would do when it got REALLY hot was find a nice fat dog, then slit its throat as a sacrifice to Sirius, to make him be less mad and stop it from being so hot.

(Author’s note: There was no ASPCA back then to stop people from doing stupid things like this).

And guess what? This did not even work! It stayed hot. And someone was minus a dog.

But this is how the Dog Days of Summer got its name.

So if you’re feeling a lack of motivation or just generally blah right now, you should know that you’re not alone. It’s not the fault of anyone’s dog (not even Sirius, which due to gradual shifts in the earth’s rotation, is no longer the brightest star in the sky during August).

But these ARE still the Dog Days.

But don’t worry, because there are a LOT of people working to try to get us out of our doldrums right now (thank God, because when I’m done trying to work on my current project every day, all I want to do is have a nice cocktail and be entertained by someone else’s project).

Here are some other people’s projects that I’m enjoying right now (I’d tell you about mine, but since it’s the Dog Days, I’d just fall asleep while doing so):

After long and exhaustive study, I’ve determined that one of the reasons the shows on the USA channel are so entertaining is because the network makes a conscious effort to match the color of their sets to their main characters’ eyes.

Case in point, Necessary Roughness, USA’s new show about a single mom sports psychologist who works for a pro-football team in New York City:

As you can tell from the above photo, this show is already good because every week Dr. Dani Santino (who just got divorced from her cheating scumbag of a husband) has to solve the mystery of what is wrong with her patient (always a new patient every week, always some kind of athlete, or married to one), and also has to juggle the guys she works with, pictured above, some of whom are kind of hot for her (the one from Buffy and one from Gilmore Girls)!

(I’m sort of mad I didn’t think of this show, because I was into sports psychology as far back as 2004, as you can tell from this blog entry. DANG!)

But the important thing is that in almost every scene, USA Network makes sure actress Callie Thorne’s golden brown hair and eyes match something golden brown on the set, usually leaves, so the show has a sort of warm, golden, autumnal feel to it. Don’t believe me? LOOK:

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47. It’s Meg Cabot Day: Stop Working

I hope you aren’t working right now. Work is forbidden (for real, by proclamation of the mayor of Bloomington, Indiana) on July 31st, which is Meg Cabot Day.

So today if you want to blow off work and spend the WHOLE DAY floating around in a pool or lake on a raft, or just sitting in the shade or AC, reading books (specifically mine, but they can be books by anyone. I’m easy like that), you don’t have to feel guilty about it.

Not that you ever would or should feel guilty about reading for pleasure. It’s just that I know some of you have gotten in trouble for reading when you aren’t supposed to be, because I’ve gotten your letters, emails, Facebook messages, and Tweets about it.

But today if anyone says anything like, “OMG, you didn’t even make the bed!” or “Um, where are the TPS reports?” you have a built in excuse for why those things are not done:

You’re legally obligated to spend the whole day lazing around, reading.

Here’s the official proclamation I received from the mayor of Bloomington (my place of birth) on this day seven years ago (at a book signing at the Bloomington Barnes and Noble):

PROCLAMATION

WHEREAS, Meg Cabot was born in Bloomington, Indiana and spent her childhood in pursuit of air conditioning, which she found at the Monroe County Public Library; and

WHEREAS, Meg whiled away many hours in the library, reading the complete works of Jane Austen, Judy Blume, and Barbara Cartland; and

WHEREAS, armed with a Fine Arts degree from Indiana University, she moved to New York City intent on an illustration career, but when that failed to materialize, got a job as the assistant manager of an undergraduate dormitory at New York University where she wrote novels on the weekends; and

WHEREAS, Meg still calls New York City home, along with her IU graduate husband and one eyed alley cat named Henrietta; and,

WHEREAS, Meg has published over thirty novels for younger readers as well as adults, including The Princess Diaries series, The Mediator series, and 1-800-WHERE-R-YOU; and

WHEREAS, Lifetime network is making a series from 1-800-WHERE-R-YOU where students attend Ernie Pyle High School, a reference back to Bloomington, home to IU’s Ernie Pyle School of Journalism; and

WHEREAS, film rights to The Princess Diaries were sold to Disney, and a feature length film based on the book was released in August 2001; and

WHEREAS, Meg’s has an upcoming book, Teen Idol, set in Indiana, and is scheduled to be the lunch speaker at the Girl Scout Leadership meeting at Indiana University.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, Mark Kruzan, Mayor of Bloomington, Indiana, do hereby declare Saturday,

July 31 as

MEG CABOT DAY

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand and caused to be affixed the Seal of the City of Bloomington this 15th day of July, 2004.

________________________________

Mark Kruzan

Mayor

Admittedly, some of the info in the above proclamation is slightly out of date (for instance, Teen Idol, as well as some other books by me, have already come out, and the Lifetime series Missing isn’t on anymore, alas, in most countries).

But the important thing is that you have a good Meg Cabot Day! You deserve it for being such devoted readers, whether you’re just starting out with the Allie Finkle series, or have taken the plunge with Insatiable and Overbite or Abandon, or whether you’ve been reading my books since the first one came out in 1998, when I was writing them unde

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48. Sunshine in Tall Shoes*

Hey, here’s something we don’t have around here very often: A guest post! And it’s by a guy!

It’s from author Christopher Moore, whose awesome new graphic novel, The Griff, is in stores now! In case you didn’t know, I did a guest post for Chris a few weeks ago (click here to read it. It’s all true. Please note that the title of this post is also by Chris).

I love Christopher Moore, not just because he’s a good author, a gentleman, and the vampires he writes about don’t sparkle (NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH VAMPIRES WHO SPARKLE. It’s genetic, I know sparkling is not a choice), but because his books were once MEDICALLY PRESCRIBED by a physician, and as you know, I fully respect medical authority (such as Hank Med on USA Network, and of course, Dr. George Clooney).

Here’s Christopher Moore’s guest post. Pay attention–it could save your life:

The first time I ever saw Meg Cabot she was being chased across a banquet room at Book Expo America by Lemony Snicket, who was trying to steal her tiara.

(Note from Meg: At first I thought, “This is so funny, but sadly isn’t true,” and then I remembered it IS true, and one of the less bizarre things that have happened at Book Expo, which is why I forgot about it.)

My first thought was, “Boy, Meg Cabot can sure run fast in tall shoes.”

And my second thought was, “There’s no way that tiara is going to fit Lemony Snicket, so I hope she gets away.”

Meg got away.

And later, at another Book Expo America, I actually met Meg, who was sitting in a hotel restaurant with a bunch of sneaky-looking publishing people.

Suddenly, I had to go rescue a girl who got her prom dress caught in the escalator by cleverly telling the bartender to call someone who knows how to turn off the escalator before it ate the prom girl. So after that happened, I looked back at Meg, who was still sitting with the sneaky-looking publishing people and I thought, “Well, she seems nice, I hope she gets away.”

Then she asked me and my wife-like girlfriend if we wanted to join her for dinner, but I said, “No thanks, we have a thing to go to,” (because we did) “but may I suggest that you slip off your tall shoes.” The people she was sitting with looked like they were faster than Lemony Snicket and I thought she would need the extra speed.*

(*Note from Meg: What I especially love about this story is that some of the people I was sitting with that night included my mom and R.L. Stine–of “Goosebumps” fame–and of course Bob’s wife, Jane. I agree, however, that they were probably quite sneaky-looking, particularly Bob Stine, who was Thrillermaster at this year’s Thrillerfest in NYC. What could be sneakier?)

(There was another time when a doctor prescribed my books to Meg’s husband because he was too cheerful and needed to get more snark in his diet, which is my specialty, but I don’t remember the details of that because I had a cold at the time and had taken a lot of Nyquil.)

(Note from Meg: All of the above is also true. And note what I mentioned about such bizarre things happening at Book Expo that I forgot about all the other stuff, like Lemony Snicket trying to steal my tiara. Like Peter Yarrow playing a special solo round of Puff the Magic Dragon exclusively to Julie Andrews in the green room before breakfast at 7AM. Yes, this happened. I was there.)

Anyway, Meg got away, and as you know, went on to write several thousand awesome novels.

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49. Road Trip Q and A

I’m on the road promoting my new book, Overbite!  And I’ve got some answers to some of your most burning questions:

Q: Why is your new book called Overbite?A: Because in dating the Prince of Darkness while simultaneously working for an organization which is seeking to eradicate all demon life forms on earth, the heroine, Meena, may have bitten off more than she can chew.

Q: Where are you right now?
A: Trying to get to Maryland for Saturday’s livestream event with Nora Roberts, which ALL OF YOU CAN COME TO! Right now storms are delaying all planes, however, leaving the Nashville area!

Q: I do not understand the words coming out of your mouth.
A: I’m serious.  You can come by clicking  here.  And you can buy books by clicking on the buy books button.  Now do you understand?

Q: Can I just go to the book signing at Nora’s store?
A: Yes!  I’ll be signing books in person there WITH Nora (along authors Deanna Raybourn and Leslie Kelly, and others)!
Here’s the address:
TURN THE PAGE
Bookstore Café
18 N. Main St.
Boonsboro, MD 21713
(Contact: Janeen Solberg Main Phone: 301-432-4588 [email protected])

I’ve never been livestreamed before (that I know of.  Who knows about some of those airport bathrooms)!  So I can’t wait!

Q: In a battle between transformers and vampires, who would win?
A:   This is a very good question.  Maybe I should discuss it with Barbara Vey, of Publishers Weekly, during the Romance Writers of America Literacy signing (watch)

Q: Speaking of the Romance Writers of America conference, was Nora Roberts, the queen of romance, there?
A: No! She couldn’t make it!  But I got to bring out the Rita (it was heavy!) for Sharon Sala, the winner of the Nora Roberts Lifetime Achievement Award!
Q:  So how WAS the Romance Writers of America conference?
A: OMG, so much fun, thanks for asking!

Not only did I get to see readers from EVERYWHERE, I got to hang out with so many fun authors, and of course host the Rita/Golden Heart awards!  Here’s a little photo essay about it:
Books!
First there was the Literacy signing.  So many books!  Smart Bitches Who Love Trashy Books did another video about it, which rocked, as ALWAYS (I am towards the end). Watch.

Here are some amazing people who helped with all the long lines with indefatigable good cheer!  LOVE THEM!
ThankstoHelpers
Some of you who follow me on Twitter/Facebook might recall I had some problems choosing between two dresses. So I appealed to you for help!

Thanks for helping me choose!

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50. Overbite

I can’t believe my new book Overbite is HERE!

For those of you who haven’t grabbed a copy yet, you can find it just about anywhere, (except your local church), from your local bookstore to your local Target . . . . it’s even downloadable in Kindle and Nook format!

Some of you have written to say you’ve already read and enjoyed it (and even posted glowing reviews). Thanks so much for doing your part help to spread the truth about the upcoming vampire apocalypse!

Don’t forget, I’ll be kicking off my Overbite tour TONIGHT at the NYU Bookstore (just a hop, skip, and a jump from where I used to work in the 90s) at 6:30PM, on 726 Broadway!

And for those of you who can’t make it, don’t worry, because tomorrow night, I’ll be in New Jersey (yes, I know about the terrifying news broadcasts coming from New Jersey. But I’ll do anything to save you! And it will be worth it to see your shining, living faces!)

When:

Wednesday, July 6, 2011
7:00 PM

Where:

BOOKS AND GREETINGS
271 Livingston ST
Northvale, NJ 07647

Why:
Because it’s going to rock.

And if all goes well, on Thursday, I’ll see you in Nashville, TN!

Where:

NASHVILLE PUBLIC LIBRARY
Tennessee Humanities Council
615 Church St
Nashville, TN 37219

When:
Thursday, July 7, 2011
7:00PM

Then on Saturday, July 9, at 11AM, I’ll be taking a trip to NORA ROBERTS’ BOOKSTORE in Maryland (that will be LIVESTREAMED) followed by a live signing at noon!

TURN THE PAGE
Bookstore Café
18 N. Main St.
Boonsboro, MD
21713

(Contact: Janeen Solberg
 Main Phone: 301-432-4588 [email protected])

I’ll be making lots more stops all around the country after that. You can click here to see if I’ll be coming to a town near you to rescue you from the vampire hordes!

I’ve got LOTS more to say, but right now I’ve got to get my crucifix on if I’m going to get to my first signing on time and unscathed. Check out these amazing chapter excerpts and other extras in the meantime, and see YOU soon!

HAPPY OVERBITE RELEASE DAY!

More later.

Much love,

Meg

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