I am finding that whatever I am meant to teach at the time, I will be learning. Sometimes these lessons come gently and easily and other times, a little stronger.

Tonight I am teaching a teleclass on Better Boundaries for Sensitives. This is THE topic that as Empaths we need to tackle. As an empath, I have the ability to merge with an animal or person and retrieve a ton of information. There is deep connection there. It can feel pretty glorious, and give me great compassion and understanding for another. I can also do this with a spirit in the room or even a friend sitting across from me. This is all good. Having this skill makes life deep and rich.

It’s the unmerging that takes a long time to learn and isn’t a  skill we are taught in this world. We need to go back to our own center with separate boundaries.  I’ve been actively busy learning these skills as time goes on.

I visited a friend’s house and farm yesterday. To the outside eye, the place looked peaceful and quiet with animals strolling about. But to me, his place was buzzing with lots of spirits and energies. I was wide open and immediately heard messages. His animals were busy gabbing away at me also. I wasn’t overwhelmed, just very busy during the visit. When I got home though, I had LOTS of visitors and dreamt about all kinds of insects invading my space.

Insects in dreams can be a psychic metaphor for psychic invaders, leftover “other people’s stuff” and empathic cast-offs. Oops. Not a bad thing to connect, but I forgot to close down and clear out. In my dream state I could do that. Kinda like taking my container and emptying it out.

Other indications that you’re invaded by others’ stuff are dreams of intruders in rooms in your house or doors being wide open.

It’s not dangerous being a sensitive or an empath. It’s a gift, but we do need excellent self-care and maintenance which includes some new tools and skills.

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To learn more psychic skills and tools, sign up today for a Fairy Online School class, such as the Care of the Sensitive class, Spirit Communication 1 or Animal Communication 1.

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Our beagle girl, Lilibeth, lived under the bed most of her long life. Now, don’t get me wrong, we weren’t these horrible abusers who forced her there. She had her rather timid side and somewhere along the way, learned that under the bed was a safe place to watch for dangers. She often stole things of interest and dragged them into her beagle lair and we’d find the funniest things, often what was missing. What Lilibeth taught me, as a sensitive person, was maintaining the gentle balance between being under the bed and coming out from under the bed. Not an easy task.

In my enthusiasm, I can be too “out” and social and find myself picking up on everyone’s feelings, tired, and seriously overloaded. My first signs of overload can be a head cold, ungroundedness that looks like I’m a complete airhead, or the worse one, bitchiness and a short temper.It will feel like my skin is too uncomfortable to wear.

Too “in” looks a little like I’m a crazy person–a tiny bit paranoid, fearful, claustrophobic and obsessed with figuring out the big puzzles of the world. That’s the extreme. You know when you are too “in” when you get that weird look in your eye and the world seems scary and threatening.

I do like the under the bed technique but there are too many dustballs under there so I can’t stay too long.

For an empath, balancing the two really is about being very aware of what your body is feeling and listening. With the energies going around right now, it’s no wonder we are all inclined to stay under a little longer.  And that’s okay, as long as we venture out a bit also. The world needs your energy.

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For more tips for the Sensitive, buy my eBook, Help! I’m Sensitive. Or, consider booking a reading.

I love Netflix. Each week I receive my happy, little envelopes in the mail for my viewing pleasure according to my Queue. I’m lazy and it’s too hot to stand at the Redbox booth, so this works well for me. Since I joined, I’ve been able to try out different series I normally wouldn’t have watched. Some, were way too violent or dark for my sensitive nature. Others were just right. Here’s my list.

TV Series I recommend:

HAVEN: I love this quirky yet sometimes creepy series about those with different “troubles” written by Stephen King. Ordinarily, everything written by Stephen King usually has puke or evil creepy dead twins. I will never forget IT or the SHINING. But this show has great characters, a strong female lead you admire, intelligence in the plot lines with a huge dose of the supernatural, and lots of psychic abilities, too many that do go awry. I like that most of the time you are spared seeing horrible dead bodies; it’s more suggested. Bravo! We don’t need to be visually assaulted, especially us clairvoyants who never forget. I’m pretty hooked on this one and look forward to season two.

MERLIN: This is a great tv series shot in England with those great accents about Merlin’s beginnings as a teen boy. It’s wholesome with endearing relationships, and the teens don’t act skanky and make you cringe, which is always a good thing. I relate to Merlin’s quest to accept and not hide his abilities (I couldn’t talk about mine with my in-laws. My father-in-law is the one that told me Mediums are hated by God). None of the characters on this show are all good or all bad, but are very real. And maybe there’s that cool past life in King Arthur times I vaguely remember. It’s brilliant.

THE REAPER: This was an older series of a young adult who is being told on his coming of age birthday that he now has to retrieve wayward souls from hell for the devil. It’s cleverly written, has great dry humor and interesting characters. I like the whole good vs. evil in ourselves fight that we can all relate to in some small way. The title character grapples with his destiny. Violence is minimal and most of the dark elements are funny, so less threatening.

Of course, I LOVE Ghost Whisperer. There’s so much healing on that show.  I wish they hadn’t cancelled it. DEAD LIKE ME is another very quirky, dark humored and well-written show also. Folks do die on that one each episode, but you expect it and it’s explained simply as their time to go.

My Recommendations to stay away from if you are sensitive:

SUPERNATURAL: I liked this series when it started of two brothers fighting evil. In the beginning there was a strong emphasis on the relationship between the brothers as they encountered their fight and how they grew together or apart.  But the last later episode I caught I found myself flinching through much of the violence. They have upped the violence and the special effects. It’s too cruel and mean in that department. I don’t want to watch people abusing and torturing each other. Been there, done that.

BEING HUMAN: Although I love the story of the ghost, vampire and werewolf who try to fit into society, and the british version’s acting and characters are superb, it’s very, very dark. Topics include physical domestic abuse and murder. As an empath, this one left me feeling inflicted upon and took hours to shake from one dark episode.

HARPER’S ISLAND: This series’ d

Being an empath, I follow my intuition and what is best for me through my feelings.

Yesterday, I decided to finally get that haircut I’ve been putting off due to lack of time and a touch of laziness. After a few errands and a trip to Safeway, I stopped off Great Cuts with a coupon in hand for a discount haircut.

Entering the place, I noticed a crowded waiting room with kids jumping up and down off the chairs. The energy felt downright uncomfortable. But it was the woman at the front desk that turned me off. She seemed bored, tired, and someone who really didn’t care if I got a haircut or not. Was she the one who was going to cut my hair?! With a long wait, I reluctantly made an appt. to come back at 2pm for a haircut.

Driving around, wasting time until my appointment, I felt a huge tug NOT to go back. I’m a little embarassed to say that I didn’t. The more I thought about going in there the worse I felt. Instead I drove around and remembered that my one friend mentioned a hairdresser who was really good at her trade. Being pulled, I entered her shop two minutes away and she was delightful! She was actually excited about cutting my hair and we made an appointment for the next day.

Marianna, this great new hairdresser, cut my hair today. It looks wonderful. We talked while she cut and she told me I had great hair. (Got to love a compliment). She gave me tips on what conditioners would be great for my hair. There was no one else in the shop as she cuts one person’s hair at a time. It cost maybe three times the discount haircut, but you know what? With all that great treatment, I walked out feeling like a million bucks. I even treated myself to lunch afterwards.

I guess this is a story about several things. One, follow your gut and your energy. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t for you. Two, Marianna loved cutting my hair and told me so. That wonderful energy went into my hair, probably. Loving what she does radiated out and was a great gift to me, and because of that, she did a great job. The first hairdresser I almost went to didn’t honor what she did and I guarantee she wouldn’t have honored me either, like Marianna had.

And third, treat yourself, dammit! Go just a little further with what you spend on yourself and you will be rewarded by showing the world and the Universe you matter. That’s one of those keys to abundance.

Go get a great haircut.

ps. I actually remember about six months ago going into that hair salon (the earlier one) to get a quick bangs cut. The young woman cutting my hair went on and on how my hair was so dry and with my “kind” of hair I shouldn’t even have bangs. Reminds me of the bad post office experience.

Fairy blessings,

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Myers Briggs has a very cool system to help people find their “type,” helping them clarify what jobs, work places, etc., would be best for them. I am in a small percentile of folks, like many of my readers, clients and students that are sensitive,  that are INFJs. NFs are the intuitive feelers of the world. We experience the world through our feeling.

What I think is very nice about this classification is that when I try to be someone I am not, looking at an INFJ definition, I realize that I am unique in how I handle the world, and that’s just fine. I am encouraged to work with how I am, not against it, not act like someone I am not, such as a ISTP. What a concept. That means if I try to apply for a job as a hostess at a busy restaurant, I might get it, but I won’t last very long with that constant people stimulation. I’d fry out. I would also fail at a job that was only repetitive work that didn’t use my mind or imagination. I’d probably escape through the nearest window.

I look back at the jobs I had when I was younger and I now see how I was squeezing a circle into a square job. Then I’d berate myself when I’d fail at it! I’ve had lots of retail jobs in those early years, and though I was good at helping customers and enjoyed it, I was extremely unfulfilled not creating anything or using my mind to solve problems. My funnest job but the one I failed the most at was working at Burger King on the night shift as a teen. I was terrible at repetitive cooking, would forget the details on how to make food, and all I wanted to do was socialize and learn my coworkers’ stories.

• INFJs, like most sensitives, need alone time to recharge or we get a bit wonky. Too much ongoing people interaction=http://ronnispsychicroom.wordpress.com/feed/overload
• INFJs like to encourage others’ growth and empowerment and like to help in that capacity
• INFJs like to solve complex problems and use their minds
• INFJs need jobs that are value-oriented and see their positive impact on others
• INFJs may not be good at facts and details and repetition
• INFJs best in leader roles, not followers

When you think of your work or situation choices, work WITH who you are, not against. The Myers Brigg classification is one tool that really assists with finding the right places for your talents and shifts your perception from “there’s something wrong with me” to “maybe this is just a bad match for my strengths and abilities.”

And if you live in an area where most of the jobs are not matches for your classifications, make your own, like I did. Find a need that matches what only you can give.

I’ve been keeping track when, how and where I hear good guidance vs. fears, spirits and crazy thoughts picked up along the way. Here’s my list of when I hear guidance the best:

1. In the bathtub. No seriously. Water acts like a conductor and I get all kinds of big ah-ha’s being submerged in water. When I used to swim I always received a ton of creative ideas.
2. Being around like-minded’s. Many of my buds are intuitive and when I am around or talk to them, I am raised up and tuned-in. We amplify each other.
3. When I am happy. Duh.
4. Being in Nature = #3 above.
5. When the computer is turned off and the radio, tv, etc., I can hear much better. That seems logical as there is no interference. When my computer went down, after the first few days of serious withdrawal symptoms, I began to hear again after being shut down (hey, I just caught that. My computer shut down when I shut down!)
6. Today at Unity Center, I was raised up. Once the music began playing from William Eaton and his daughter, I was in bliss. I could then hear true guidance and suggestions that my Guides have been trying to pass along, but I wasn’t able to hear before.
7. I’d like to say when I am high on sugar, but that just makes me hyper, not wiser, unfortunately.
8. When I am feeling loved. My heart is open and I am receptive to the good.
9. When I draw. That’s when I am relaxed and doing what I love. Super-easy to reach me with good advice.
10. The dream state! If I am having a very hard time hearing and need guidance, I sleep on it. Next morning I usually awake very wise with answers.

My List for When I don’t Hear Guidance or Hear False Guidance:

1. When I am bitchy. Ha ha! Bad moods usually mean I am shut down and in a Nasty Fairy state of mind.
2. Negative tv watching. I watched one show the other night and was not feeling right for a whole day.
3. Fear. When I am lost in my own or someone else’s fear, I really can’t hear true guidance. I am like a spinning top in my own world of my own yuckky making that consists of the past or the imagined future.
4. When I am very tired. I tend to zone out completely or hear guidance in small blips that come in and out.
5. When I am in negative environments usually where the old paradigms work, at least they think it works. Being in those is like trying to hear through mud. Be there long enough and survival is based on only if you become blind and dumb.
6. Negative or mean people. That kinda goes along with number 5. Being around negative people gets me going and then I’m useless for hours. They usually give unhelpful advice based on their negative experiences or filter. (Did you hear the new Taylor Swift song Mean? It’s so on.)
7. When I am trying too hard to hear.
8. When I am in my head not my heart and I think I know the answers using “logical mind” vs. feel and really know the answers.
9. When I use a pendulum. I’m one of those people who can’t. Apparently, I get a great deal of false positives when I want a positive. It’s very frustrating.
10. When I am really angry at God and my Guides. Face it, that shuts close the door for a little while. Thank goodness they are patient.

So, try to do a little more of the first list, and recognize when you are doing some of the second list. I know I will try to.

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I  think  God’s  knowledge  is  in  the  flowers.

I’ve been instructed to use the White Pansy essence I’ve made for dealing with issues of trust. Since I arrogantly expect my clients to use the essences I recommend, I concluded I needed to listen to my own guidance and take the suggestion.

What’s the deal with trust? Why is it so hard to trust that things will work out and the Divine will take care of things when we are faced with tough circumstances that, logically, would make no sense for us to trust in the good?

Day one of taking White Pansy flower essence. I felt my bitter thoughts rise to the surface. I had reason not to trust. I had a long list created in the past few years. Spirit tells me that I often take on others’ faults that are not my own. This makes no sense to me or why this message is relevant to trusting.

Day two. I was journalling like a crazy-flowing pen nut. Insights rose alongside the nasty bitter thoughts. I wasn’t feeling Miss Spiritual at that moment. Not Miss Positive or the teacher I came here to be. It was ugly–I was releasing.

Day three. Things began to shift. I felt more hopeful about life. I was seeing the little ways my Guides helped me every day and I could trust that guidance. If I needed something, it came about.

That morning I unloaded my sadness on my one pal and recalled a time of high stress trauma last year when I lived off my birthday cake for months. I think it was the sugar high I was using to cope with. It started to get a little gross, and my friend shared with me, that at the time, she thought I was eating that cake probably beyond when it was still edible. We laughed about this and I told her I secretly was craving birthday cake at the moment and would love to have some.

Later I walked the girls around the neighborhood, and Danny, my neighbor, came over and told me it was his birthday and they were having a party. Would I like some birthday cake?

Perhaps this is a story of the shelf life of cake and when to throw it out, or  instant validation that I am being taken care of and can trust that, even when I feel that this world is ignoring me and what I need.

Day four. Things shift in my head. I am reminded of all the times outside world looked really bad but was asked by guidance and intuition to trust in the good. I am shown, again, how I am led and taken care of, but still I wonder, why then, was bad things allowed to happen in my life? Where people acting badly were allowed to stay ignorant? What about that? I am in a battle in my head and it’s scary. Which side will win?

Day five. Meltdown. The healing crisis. My loved-one is going through a recurring theme lesson which I relate to.  Finally, the floodgates open with a good cry. It’s a bigger lesson here for me. A huge insight comes through: that throughout my lifetime, when bad things happened or went wrong I was too quick as an empath to jump in and take the fault–think it was something wrong with me. What I saw in my life was often others allowing me to do so or “passing the buck” when they screwed up.

When I was born, I came in with a messed-up stomach. My parents couldn’t fix it and the doctors said I’d just outgrow it. Not a great deal was done for me as I was usually i

I am noticing with my friends, clients and myself, that we are becoming more sensitive and more psychic in our abilities. Are we evolving?

Have you noticed that you can pick up more now what others are feeling or even thinking? I haven’t been able to watch tv shows lately that are dark at all. I rented a copy of Supernatural. It’s a tv series I used to watch and enjoy. I physically hurt through most of it; there was that much violence and cruelty. This wasn’t entertainment. Maybe I am not the too sensitive one. Maybe it’s the world who is getting so numb they can stand this level of darkness assaulting our eyes. I can’t do that anymore.

After having that happen, feeling so sensitive, I first thought, “Do I need to live in a box then, away from the world?” Many of my clients come to me wondering the same things.

And the answer I heard this morning was No. You don’t need to isolate. I think we’ve always been this sensitive, some of us. We came in wired this way. But then we accumulated a great deal of mud and fog to numb over our sensitivity. What we’ve been doing is clearing out the mud and being who we really are under all that crap. So, then, the darkness doesn’t feel right when you’ve just gotten rid of a ton of our own darkness. You no longer resonate. Why would you want a part of what you just got rid of?

Our light is coming back. We aren’t turning into light. We were light to start with! And then we got involved in earth school and layers of mud kept getting added until we didn’t recognize we were light at all. We thought we were dirt. And probably listening to voices growing up telling us we were flawed in some way for being sensitive, we really did believe we were dirt.

So, no. You aren’t too sensitive. You never were. We’ve had to adjust to being here. But now you have no choice as you work on your healing to be anyone but who you really are. One big shining light. Perhaps we are all just lightning bugs.

I think that is kinda cool.

For Summer, because we need a cool deal, sign up for the Care of the Sensitive class and you will receive FREE the 50 Tools for the Sensitive ebook. Between the class and the ebook, you will be now have the tools you need that you didn’t get for your toolbox as a child to navigate living in this crazy world as an empath.

Sign ups are until May 26th, (my Mom’s bday, how cool is that). Sign up and reserve your space now to get what you need.

Today’s free excerpt is from that class:

Weed Control: Clearing out gently.

For our sensitive souls, our intention to clear out our own negativity, or what we have picked up from others or our environment, should always be gentle. We already learned that some flower essences clear us out too strongly.

As sensitives, we know that a little goes a long way. I am sure you have had the experience of overreacting to too strong medication that for others, there is no reaction. Or you have had a healing from a healing practitioner that knocked you off your socks for days. We need to heal and clear baby steps at a time. I asked the Fairies for some gentle clearing tools.

TOOL: Pumpkin plant essence.(Ronni’s Potions, research notes above from The Fairy Field Guide) Pumpkin is a cleanser that is very gentle, and recommended to me by the Fairies. I was guided to make this essence from this particular pumpkin when our elderly beagle at the time had a horrible, goopy cough that needed clearing. My mind kept bringing my attention to the plump, orange pumpkin in the front yard. What if I could make an essence out of the pumpkin? Curiosity led to discovery. Turns out that is the one essence Lilibeth desperately needed to clear out her throat.

How do you know if you need clearing out? If you find that one minute you are singing and happy, and the next minute after interaction with others you feel weighed down, overly-emotional or upset, you may have taken on “stuff”.

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Here is my top 10 lists why being Empathic can suck and not suck.

The 10 Reasons Why Being Empathic Can Really Suck:

1. You can feel deeply when loved-ones are in pain. Sometimes, you can confuse what they feel with what you feel.
2. The world can overwhelm you. Bad things happen like the tsunami in Japan, and you feel deep pain, sadness, ennui, and helplessness.
3. You can feel deeply intimate and close to others when it may be hard for them to return the favor.
4. You can have lots of astral and mediumship visits, hear your animals, and there are tons of voices or feelings and information coming towards you.
5. The planets moving around and the moon cycles affect you where others walk around mindless and untouched.
6. You have access to deep information which others don’t have and therefore, you feel the need to jump in all the time.
7. You feel deep responsibility.
8. Your feelings are easily hurt and wonder why others can be so cruel with their words.
9. You care about other people. A LOT.
10. And number 10, folks can look at you a little crazy because you can see the Fairy light in the bush, you hear your animals’ thoughts and you know someone is upset even when they insist they are just fine.

Empath, before you go jump off the bridge, I offer the 10 things that don’t suck about being an empath.

1. Because you feel deeply, you really experience life and all its pieces. You’re really living your life richly and thoroughly.
2. Yes, the world can be overwhelming, but you have healing and psychic abilities that others may not have and can make a big difference in healing the world.
3. Yes, you can feel closer to others, but you teach them how to really love and love themselves. What a gift that is and what a teacher you are. Plus, you can feel love from many places to fill up with.
4. Being psychic, your world is not limited. It’s expansive and filled with mystery. You don’t have to accept that a loved one is gone or that there is a separation between you. You know and feel there isn’t.
5. You are in-tuned with the earth and can better heal you and itself.
6. That deep information helps you understand other people and have compassion for them so you don’t need to judge or fall for surface stories.
7. That deep responsibility makes you a honorable and trustworthy person.
8. Your feelings get hurt easily, but this allows you to teach others that have no sensitivity at all. You have what they miss and need.
9. There’s nothing wrong with caring about other people. It’s why we are here–to help ourselves and each other along the road. How cool is that?
10. If crazy is being open to all the magic in the world, why would you want to be closed off from that?

So, you see dear empath, you are gift to the earth and what looks like something wrong is something very right.

Fairy blessings,

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Want more tools? Sign up for the Care of the Sensitive class, or buy the 50 Tools for the Sensitive e-book. Or empath, sign up for an empathic/Guide reading with Ronni.

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