This box is full of trash, not crackers. True story.

I’m going to make a movie reference. It’s a bad one. Ready?

In Star Trek VI, Kirk, Spock and Bones are camping in Yosemite on shore leave. In the morning, they’re called back to the ship suddenly, cutting their (weird) joint vacation short, and Kirk sighs, “Pack out your trash.”

Pack out your trash.

So now I not only just outed myself as a Trekkie, but as a person who gets geeked out at environmental catch phrases. Oh, shut up. You love that crying Indian.

I’m not embarrassed (well, maybe a little – I think only seventeen people have even seen that movie, much less quoted from it). As an environmentalist, I love this phrase. I was taught at an early age to take my trash with me, to throw it away in a bin instead of littering. Most people are, I believe. It was sandwiched between “Wash your hands before dinner” and “Stop licking the dog!”

But I also believe there’s more to it than just not littering. Not littering is admirable, but I believe we need to think further.

I like to think that when we visit a place, we should leave it better than we found it. Not just Yosemite or the beach, I mean places like airports, malls, Disneyland, Starbucks. Sure, people get paid to clean up our messes. That’s one way to think of it. “Let someone else take care of it,” we tell ourselves. After all, we’re busy, We are Important. We don’t get paid to pick up trash. I mean, aren’t there, like, workers for that?

There’s no immediate reward for this. It’s, just like, work, Dude. Yeah, I know. You’re thinking, Who needs more work? And who needs this kind of guilt? I already struggle with that whole should-I give-that-homeless-lady-a-dollar thing. Now this?

Well, poor you. So much to think about. You can’t keep up! Who will take over for Letterman? Does Khloe Kardashian wear Spanx? Does my Uber driver know I’m completely shit-faced?*

Get over yourself. Pick up some goddamn trash for a change. Get off your ass and make a difference for once. Not because it’s better for the planet and society. Do it because I said so.

*Yes, your driver can smell you.