Dear Authors,

This post is more of a plea than anything else. It is a plea for conformity to authors submitting queries to Pants On Fire Press. It is no secret that we publishers have a hard time keeping up with the submissions we receive. Now, while it is easy to claim the obvious -- that we are just so busy we haven't the time to review each and every query in a timely manner -- this isn't the case entirely. For a properly submitted query, one that follows our guidelines, we know within 40 seconds if we want to read more. By now, if we do indeed want to read more, we are reading about you, the author. If you followed our guidelines we are learning about you, your writing cridentials and how you plan to market the book. Now we are ready to learn about your story -- the who, what, when and where -- by reading the synopsis. Oh, but wait, you didn't include a synopsis. Author, we need to know what happens in your story -- from beginning to end. I bet you didn't know that fifty percent of our acquisition decisions are based solely upon the synopsis. Do you really think we have time to read  the first three chapters of every query? Ha! That's funny. The requested three chapters are for that rare book that has us begging to read more. Frankly, unless your query has truly hooked us, by now we would have deleted your query. Stinks, doesn't it?

Well, let's stay positive and continue on our query review journey under the assumption that you included the all important synopsis. Minutes pass and we have read the synopsis and want to read more but wait, where are the first three chapters we requested? Oh, they are included in the query but as attachments. Guess what? Delete! Opening attachments is too risky. We are a business. We conduct business with authors, agents, printers, Hollywood studios and so on. You get the idea. We can't afford to open an infected file nor can we afford to infect our business associates.

Realize this. We do not know you. You do not know us. But think of your query and our submission guidelines as our initial hand shake. If you do not conform to our submission guidelines you tell us that you do not want to shake our hand. Well, we don't want to shake your hand either. It's you author. That is right, you are the stymie in the process. Your seemingly odd choice to ignore submission guidelines is the root of the problem. We have taken the time to develop and post our submission guidelines. Additionally, by submitting your query you expect us to take more time to review your query. Follow them and we will take the time to review your query. We wish you well.

Pants On Fire Press