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As of November 20, 2012 (that is, Midnight Eastern Time tonight) I am closed to queries. I will reopen to queries January 7, 2013.

If I already have your work, you should hear from me by January 7. (That's the point of taking the break, I have to catch up!)

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The We The People petition website is run by the White House and bills itself as a site that gives “all Americans a way to engage their government on the issues that matter to them.” Any citizen of our great nation can create a petition and round up signatures from other constituents. The petitions that achieve over 100,000 signatures will generate a response from the Obama administration. Democracy in action…or so it would seem.

Last week, a courageous American started a petition that asked President Barack Obama to “re-enact the scene from The Incredibles where Frozone is looking for his supersuit.” The petition was supported by Incredibles director Brad Bird, who retweeted the request on his Twitter account. It made a reasonable request of the leader of the free world:

However, it turns out that Obama (or his minions who run the We the People site) do not appreciate The Incredibles as much as the rest of America’s freedom-loving, tax-paying, God-fearing citizens do. In an act worthy of the Turkish government, the petition asking Obama to re-enact a simple one-minute scene from a beloved animated film and which had received over 5,000 signatures in two days, was abruptly halted by the the U.S. government. Perhaps, then, Frozone was an appropriate character for Obama to re-enact because he clearly has no qualms about freezing the needs and desires of American citizens.

The harm that has been caused to the fundamental integrity of our democratic process is unquestionable, but we should never forget that, as Americans, we have the right to demand of our leaders to perform scenes from classic animated movies. In fact, a new petition requesting that Obama dress up as Frozone has already been launched on Change.org. We will make it happen one way or another:

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Monstore is available now. Check out Tara Lazar’s site for more information:
http://taralazar.com/
.

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Submissions needed: There are only a couple of submissions left in the pillory. If you’d like a fresh look at your opening chapter or prologue, please email your submission to me re the directions at the bottom of this post.

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The Flogometer challenge: can you craft a first page that compels me to turn to the next page? Caveat: Please keep in mind that this is entirely subjective.

Note: all the Flogometer posts are here.

What's a first page in publishingland? In a properly formatted novel manuscript (double-spaced, 1-inch margins, 12-point type, etc.) there should be about 16 or 17 lines on the first page (first pages of chapters/prologues start about 1/3 of the way down the page). Directions for submissions are below.

A word about the line-editing in these posts: it’s “one-pass” editing, and I don’t try to address everything, which is why I appreciate the comments from the FtQ tribe. In a paid edit, I go through each manuscript three times.

Storytelling Checklist

Before you rip into today’s submission, consider this list of 6 vital storytelling ingredients from my book, Flogging the Quill, Crafting a Novel that Sells. While it's not a requirement that all of these elements must be on the first page, they can be, and I think you have the best chance of hooking a reader if they are.

Evaluate the submission—and your own first page—in terms of whether or not it includes each of these ingredients, and how well it executes them. The one vital ingredient not listed is professional-caliber writing because that is a must for every page, a given.

• Story questions
• Tension (in the reader, not just the characters)
• Voice
• Clarity
• Scene-setting
• Character

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Steve sends the first chapter of Cold Water Creek. Please vote—the feedback helps the writer. 

Doctor Artemis Rite hovered over skeletal remains spread across a stainless steel examination table as if perusing through a jewelry store countertop looking at engagement rings.

“So that’s it?” Carter Blaine said. He stood at the doctor’s right shoulder gazing down at the brown mass of sticks. Rite had placed the fragments carefully in their respective places simulating a human skeleton. It was the best he could do considering the incomplete remains that were found in the sunken van.

“Not much to go on,” Rite mumbled.

The forensic dive team had collected twelve human bones, a skull and a slime covered high school class ring.

“That’s about it,” Rite said through a sigh as he clinched his Meerschaum pipe between his teeth.

“Can we do anything with what we got?”

“DNA could match something but it is a slim chance.”

“What do we know?”

“Young, female, dead.” Doctor Rite expressed through his bizarre sense of humor.

“I think the State’s Attorney will want a little more detail than that.”

“Not much more to talk about until the Feds come back with information on the vehicle.”

Would you turn Steve's first page?

Nope

For me, there just weren’t any compelling story questions related to either of the two characters introduced here. It sounds like a routine medical examination. Since I know nothing of the dead girl, there’s no particular interest there, either.

I looked ahead in the chapter, and sure enough something did happen to the protagonist, Carter, that would have gotten me to turn the page. Here, with a little editing, is an alternative opening. What’s your vote?

Carter joined the line for the bank teller. It was nearly noon and his stomach grumbled; Jenna hadn’t felt like making breakfast. Her parting words were, “Grab something from McDonald’s and don’t get yourself killed before you come home.” All he wanted was some cash and to get through the day, get back home, have a couple of beers, and watch the game.

He scanned across the front of the bank as a cop would and noticed a squirmy little guy wearing a Red Sox ball cap charge through the front doors.

“Sonovabitch,” Carter mumbled as he felt a spasm in his stomach. Not from a lack of food or the fact the runt wore a Red Sox cap in south Florida; it was that feeling as if the air was being sucked out of the room just before something bad was about to happen. Squirmy headed directly toward the teller counter. Carter reached inside his jacket and placed his hand on his service revolver.

Squirmy flung his cap to the floor and pulled a stocking over his head. Carter released the grip on his weapon as Squirmy presented a cheap 38-caliber handgun from beneath his baggy Black Sabbath T-shirt. A confrontation now would only ensure someone getting hurt, or a hostage, or possibly something worse.  

"Everybody freeze. On the ground. NOW!" Squirmy waved his gun in the air. Everyone dropped (snip)

Comments, please?

For what it’s worth.

Ray

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Free sample chapters—click here for a PDF

"I'm mad at this book. Know why? Because it's one of the best I've read about crafting compelling novels, and it's telling me that I have to revise my own novel yet again. The examples are clear and unusually frequent. For example, you won't read pages of theory before being shown exactly what is meant by creating tension. If you're writing a novel you hope will sell to an agent, then to a publisher, and finally to a great many readers, Rhamey's realistic advice will help you.”   Susan

Submitting to the Flogometer:

Email the following in an attachment (.doc, .docx, or .rtf preferred, no PDFs):

1. your title
2. your complete 1st chapter or prologue plus 1st chapter
3. Please format with double spacing, 12-point font Times New Roman font, 1-inch margins.
4. Please include in your email permission to post it on FtQ.
5. And, optionally, permission to use it as an example in a book if that's okay.
6. If you’re in a hurry, I’ve done “private floggings,” $50 for a first chapter.
7. If you rewrite while you wait for your turn, it’s okay with me to update the submission.

© 2013 Ray Rhamey

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Today’s Cartoon Brew Artist of the Day post is sponsored by the CG Master Academy. Sign up TODAY for Jason Scheier’s class Fundamentals for Creative Environment Design.

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Jason Scheier is a visual development and concept artist at DreamWorks Animation SKG. Jason creates digital paintings as well as designs concepts in 3D.

In 2008 Jason drew the above concept presentation pieces for The Guardians of Childhood project at DreamWorks that eventually became Rise of the Guardians.

The following digital paint studies were created as personal projects and class demonstrations:

This is Jason’s modified Chevy Camaro design for the upcoming DreamWorks pic Turbo. The car was built and displayed at the Chicago Auto Show. See more of Jason’s work on his blog.

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To kick off my writing vocation in Northern California, Brilliance Audio sent me to Fantasy Studios in Berkeley to record the introduction and my own contribution to OPEN MIC: RIFFS ON LIFE BETWEEN CULTURES IN TEN VOICES.

Wait, stop.

Fantasy Studios, people.

This is where Lil Wayne heads after his Bay Area concerts, where Robin Williams voices his animated characters, where Journey and Aerosmith and the Grateful Dead recorded bestselling albums.

I walked in feeling awestruck, certainly, but secretly I was slightly cocky. After all, when I read to our boys growing up, I tried to be mesmerizing, right? They seemed into it. And when I read in church, I strive for reverence and excellence, and people seem to appreciate it. So it couldn't be that hard to read my own writing aloud, right?



Wrong.

Director and master voice actor Paul Costanzo gently but firmly led me through a session that lasted two hours, giving perfect examples with his beautiful voice, using inflection, pacing, intonation, and pitch to add meaning and depth to my writing. At times I swear he sounded more like a Bengali-American woman than I did.

Paul Costanzo (left), director and voice actor, and sound engineer Alberto Hernandez (right) steered me through my recording session.

Thanks to today's experience, I certainly won't listen to an audio book in the same way. The thought, care, and talent that voice actors put into reading our novels make the purchase of an audio version well worth it. Their voices add a whole new dimension to our stories, as I sensed while listening to the audio version of Bamboo People, voiced by Jonathan Davis.

"To me, phrasing a piece of copy requires the same sensibility as phrasing a line of music," said Costanzo in an interview with the Mill Valley Literary Review. "The job of the narrator is to get the words off the page and into the theater of the mind of the listener, and the way the words take shape off the page has a profound impact on what the listener can envision."

I hope I managed to accomplish a bit of that in my own narration. The audio version of OPEN MIC releases 9.10.13, the same day as the anthology, so I guess we'll have to wait and see. In the meantime, I'm browsing libraries and bookstores to find some good audio books.

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Pop culture references abound in the new teaser trailer for The LEGO Movie directed by the creative team of Phil Lord and Chris Miller (Clone High TV series, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, 21 Jump Street). Warner Bros. will release the film in the U.S. on February 7, 2014. The highlight in this teaser is the animation, which has the chunky staccato rhythms one might expect of LEGOs animated in stop motion though it is actually achieved through computer animation.

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You'll run a gamut of emotions when your first editorial letter comes. 

http://operationawesome6.blogspot.com/2013/05/the-five-stages-of-editorial-letters.html

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A series of educational books by Tick Tock Books featuring level three reading. A brief summary of the books and their word focus are included below. This is a fun series kids will enjoy, while also learning how to read. Please also see posts on level one and level two information.

Snail Trail
Author: Sally Grindley
Illustrator: Mike Phillips
Publisher: Tick Tock Books
ISBN: 978-1-84898-763-0
Pages: 24
Price: $3.99

Buy it at Amazon

Level 3-A: The snail leaves a trail of paint, and Gail, the maid is not happy.
Focuses on ai words.

Queen Ella’s Feet
Author: Sally Grindley
Illustrator: Sandra Aguilar
Publisher: Tick Tock Books
ISBN: 978-1-84898764-7
Pages: 24
Price: $3.99

Buy it at Amazon

Level 3-B: Queen Ella’s feet are cold. When she asks for a sheet, she ends up with a sheep!
Focuses on ee words.

Puff Flies
Author: Sally Grindley
Illustrator: Valentina Mendicino
Publisher: Tick Tock Books
ISBN: 978-1-84898-765-4
Pages: 24
Price: $3.99

Buy it at Amazon

Level 3-C: Puff, the dragon, wants to fly. A magic spell works for a while. Then he learns the secret.
Focuses on ie words.

Goat in a Boat
Author: Sally Grindley
Illustrator: Mike Phillips
Publisher: Tick Tock Books
ISBN: 978-1-84898-766-1
Pages: 24
Price: $3.99

Buy it at Amazon

Level 3-D: Goat wants to cross the moat to catch the coach, so he gets into a boat. Toad joins him and makes a mess.
Focuses on oa words.

The Pop Duet
Author: Deborah Chancellor
Illustrator: Alex Paterson
Publisher: Tick Tock Books
ISBN: 978-1-84898-767-8
Pages: 24
Price: $3.99

Buy it at Amazon

Level 3-E: Jess asks Zack to join her in a pop duet at a big venue. The bus breaks down and they sing to the passengers.
Focuses on ue words.

Bart’s Go-Cart
Author: Deborah Chancellor
Illustrator: Garyfalia Leftheri
Publisher: Tick Tock Books
ISBN: 978-1-84898-768-5
Pages: 24
Price: $3.99

Buy it at Amazon

Level 3-F: Mark likes Bart’s new go-cart. He takes it for a spin and drives until dark, only stopping when he crashes.
Focuses on ar words.

Ernie and Hermie Visit Earth
Author: Lucy George
Illustrator: Claudia Venturini
Publisher: Tick Tock Books
ISBN: 978-1-84898-769-2
Pages: 24
Price: $3.99

Buy it at Amazon

Level 3-G: Space creatures Ernie and Hermie spend the day on earth. Hermie gets a perm. Ernie enjoys the opera.
Focuses on the er sound.

Dina the Rapper
Author: Lucy George
Illustrator: Andrew Geeson
Publisher: Tick Tocks Books
ISBN: 978-1-84898-770-8
Pages: 24
Price: $3.99

Buy it at Amazon

Level 3-H: Dina works in the diner, but wants to be a rapper. When T-Rex comes in, Dina finally gets her lucky break.
Focuses on the er sound.

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Well, of course, if the national Collaborative Summer Library Program (CLSP) theme is "Dig into Reading" and I am an avid gardener, how can we NOT do a children's garden this summer?

Two dedicated, innovative and energetic adult services librarians just started a Seed Saving Library here in spring and I had the fun of meeting alot of gardeners through their efforts. Two of them met with me to talk about how we might make growing things happen in our our very urbanized location.

Challenge 1 - Location
We have had a significant amount of small vandalism and we wanted to protect the children's garden. We talked with our adjoining historical museum staff and they agreed to let us put a garden in their locked courtyard.

Challenge 2 - Location Again
No place to plant the plants. My gardening buds suggested building a square foot garden. Perfect, I thought. I just happen to live with the handiest handy-guy in the world and building a frame would be presto-chango easy for him.

Challenge 3 - Location Yet Again
Our museum is moving out and has some gigantic and very heavy architectural doo-dads scattered everywhere in the courtyard - and they need to move them out this summer. Our square foot garden would bein the way. Said handy-guy sez "Well, we'll just put the whole thing on wheels." And so he did.

So last week we dug and planted seeds and herbs and veggies with the kids.

We talked and chatted about growing plants.

We watered.

We tested chive blossoms. Yes, you heard me right, the kids actually picked off the blossoms and tried them.

Each week we'll meet briefly with the kids to water, weed and test the plants and veggies. I'll keep you posted on how this weekly program goes throughout the summer.  It may end up just being me out there...but  I hardly think I'll mind!

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I am so excited to have been able to interview Sonia Manzano! She’s the person we all feel like we know personally, but who has many larger than life accomplishments. In her role as Maria on Sesame Street, she has been named one of the 25 Greatest Latino TV Role Models Ever. Her first young adult novel, The revolution of Evelyn Serrano was a 2013 Pura Belpre Author Honor book and was selected for the CCBC Choices 2013 list. She is elegant, gracious and quite a role model for us all. I hope you’ll enjoy this interview as Sonia shares a little about what has inspired her to do all that she does.

Congratulations on being named a Pura Belpre Author Honor book!

Thank you so much for agreeing to an interview! I hope it helps a few more readers find your book.

Let’s start with a few short questions to get things started.

Hello and thank you so much.  Here goes!  

Where did you grow up?

The South Bronx

Do you have any pets?

Never as a kid but as an adult I had a black lab.  But it really belonged to my husband.

What do you enjoy watching on television?

I mostly watch movies and a show called Girls on cable.  I love British dramas on PBS, and admit that I am slightly addicted to old films on Turner Classic Movies.  I guess I prefer cable and PBS because I hate commercials!

Meat or vegetables?

I love both and mostly stick to chicken.

Are there any books that stand out in your memory from your childhood?

Fifteen by Beverly Cleary, Charlottes Web, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.

What book(s) are you in the middle of reading right now?

I read a lot. Just finished Pinned by Sharon G. Flake.  A book called The Street by Ann Petry.   Rita Moreno: A Memoir, My Beloved World by Sonia Sotomayor.  I’m re-reading Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt.

1969. Spanish Harlem. To what music would Evelyn be listening?

Joe Cuba, Ray Barretto and the timeless Stevie Wonder

How did you develop an interest in Puerto Rican history? Was it taught in schools? At home?

No, no, no! Puerto Rican history was never taught in school and though my parents had some rudimentary education in Puerto Rico in the 30’s and 40’s, I don’t think Puerto Rican history was taught there either.  I must say it was The Young Lords and all the progressive groups of the Civil Rights era that bought Puerto Rican history to my attention.

How do you think things have changed from the 60s to today for young girls growing up in Spanish Harlem?

Can’t really say because I don’t live there. But what I noticed as I strolled the streets doing research for The Revolution of Evelyn Serrano, was that there were many South and Central Americans living in El Barrio as well as Puerto Ricans.

I heard you speak at the Joint Conference of Librarians Conference in Kansas City this past summer and remember you speaking about the inequity in the schools in New York and how much catching up you had to do to reach your full potential. I cannot imagine the emotions you felt when The revolution of Evelyn Serrano was named a Pura Belpre Honor book. Can you describe any of the emotions you felt?

Pura Belpre was such an icon even I knew of her in my un-literary household. Her stories with their Caribbean /Spanish sensibility intrigued me.  I felt the tales had something to do with me but I wasn’t sure what.  Surely, the Perez y Martina stories planted seeds of curiosity in me.

Needless to say I am thrilled to have been honored and feel I’ve somehow come full circle.

Will you write another teen book?

There is another teen book rumbling around in my head.  I am working on a memoir for Scholastic now! 

What does diversity mean to you?

To me diversity means many kinds of people (including young and old) solving problems together.

¡Gracias

De Nada!

Filed under: Authors, Interview Tagged: author interview, Pura Belpre Award, Sonia Manzano

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The train ride from Boston had wi-fi, views of the water, & animals!  Van Arts: Pixar Masterclass in New York!  The class features working Pixar employees. Each giving a talk on their specialty, with it being Ricky Nierva first time to the event. Since he's crazy busy as the character design/production designer.  Animation: Day 1 with Andrew Gordon The first day had the most notes

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I am trying to raise a reader! I'm hoping the reading corner I set up in Rain Dragon's room helps:

the leaf canopy is from IKEA, it reminded my of My Neighbor Totoro!

What do your favorite reading corners look like?

(see more of Rain Dragon's room at my personal blog!)

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Here is some more of the lined style I'm working on. Just a study of a couple of friends having fun together.

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K.M. Grant's Blood Red Horse is $1.99 today, and I'm tempted to buy it, because—Crusades! King Richard! Saladin!—but I am, of course, concerned about THE HORSE THING.

So, those of you who've read it: should I take the plunge?

(And let's keep in mind that although I read I Rode a Horse of Milk-White Jade back in 2005, THE PAIN IS STILL ACUTELY... ER, PAINFUL.)

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I am often asked if I offer discounts on my classes or services. Yes, I do! To make things easier and affordable each session I offer EARLY BIRD SPECIALS on classes. It’s an opportunity to save money by signing up early. You can see the list of JULY classes here. Sign up by July 1st to get the class price advantage. For Private Lessons, I offer special bundle rates so if you schedule more sessions you save big and the prices go way down.

I would love to discount even more but this is how I earn my living. Every dollar earned at this site helps me eat and pay for things like the Internet, electricity, and my computer so I can continue to offer my services and products. I do offer two-payment plans and Paypal has Bill Me Later which breaks the payments down into small pieces which makes it reasonable. I’ve used that service before and it’s very helpful.

I had one person ask not too long ago if they could have a free class because they were on a limited budget. I had to laugh — I’m on a limited budget myself and am not in the situation yet where I can give away any of my time free. Hopefully, in the future, I can offer scholarships when I am in that position.

Look forward to seeing you in class!

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Today I will be sending out the new issue of the Growing Bookworms email newsletter. (If you would like to subscribe, you can find a sign-up form here.) The Growing Bookworms newsletter contains content from my blog focused on children's and young adult books and raising readers. There are 1685 subscribers. Generally, I send out the newsletter once every two weeks. This time, however, it's been three weeks, because I was on vacation last week (my daughter's first trip to Disney World).

Newsletter Update: In this issue I have nine book reviews (three picture books, three middle grade novels, and three young adult novels). I also have two posts with children's literacy and reading-related links that I shared on Twitter and one with the WordGirl word of the month for June.

Terry Doherty, Carol Rasco, and I are taking a bit of a break from the children's literacy and reading roundups for the summer (though I think Carol will squeeze in one more this week), but we'll continue to share reading links on Twitter. Look for the #litRdUp hashtag for items of particular interest. 

Reading Update: In the past 3 weeks, I finished 2 novels for middle grade readers and 3 novels for young adults. I read: 

• Claire Legrand: The Year of Shadows. Simon & Schuster. Middle Grade. Completed June 5, 2013.
• Phoebe Rivers: Saranormal #6: Giving Up the Ghost. Simon Spotlight. Middle Grade. Completed June 6, 2013.
• Anne Applegate: The Last Academy. Point. Young Adult. Completed May 30, 2013. My review.
• Bethany Griffin: Masque of the Red Death. Greenwillow Books. Young Adult. Completed June 12, 2013, on Kindle from library.
• Sarah Jamila Stevenson: Underneath. Flux Books. Young Adult. Completed June 17, 2013, on Kindle.

Several of these were vacation reads, for my personal enjoyment - reviews may or not be to come, depending on how the week goes. 

I'm currently reading Olivia Bean, Trivia Queen by Donna Gephart on my Kindle, and Dust Girl (Book 1 of the American Fairy trilogy) by Sarah Zettel in paperback. I'm listening to Clockwork Princess (Book 3 of the Infernal Devices trilogy) by Cassandra Clare on MP3.

I recently introduced Baby Bookworm to The Gruffalo by Julia Donaldson. I don't think she completely gets it, but she's enjoying it anyway. She's also enjoying 1, 2, 3 ... By the Sea: A Counting Book by Dianne Moritz & Hazel Mitchell. We took lots of Fancy Nancy, Berenstain Bears, and Little Critter books with us on vacation, because these are relatively text-dense paperbacks, and make excellent travel books. The Fancy Nancy books are particularly good for vocabulary-building. 

How about you? What have you and your kids been reading and enjoying? Thanks for reading the newsletter, and for growing bookworms. Wishing you lots of summer reading!

© 2013 by Jennifer Robinson of Jen Robinson's Book Page. All rights reserved.  You can also follow me @JensBookPage or at my Growing Bookworms page on Facebook. 

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Hi everyone!

I've been rethinking the approach to my illustration style lately. Well, longer than lately. Here is a piece I've been experimenting with. I start with blue pencil and go over it with black to give it a darker line. This version I scanned in and using Photoshop adjusted the filter so the blue line is pushed back to gray. I guess I just really like the sketchiness of it. I may try just dropping out the blue completely and using a final clean line, but we'll see.

I used to illustrate in a similar way, where I would keep the pencil line, scan and color it in Photoshop. We'll see where I end up. I'd love any feedback, so please feel free to comment. I'll be posting more soon as well.

Thanks for stopping by!

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It’s been a week of animated film trailers and teasers. This afternoon, we see the release of the Free Birds trailer, which is the first feature film produced by Reel FX, a studio known for animating the well received CGI Looney Tunes shorts. Free Birds is directed by Jimmy Hayward (Horton Hears a Who!) and will be released by Relativity Media in the U.S. on November 1st.

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