It's 3:30 a.m. as I type this, December 31, 2010.

This year? Kind of sucked.

Not just for me. This year kind of sucked for just about everyone I love.

Breakups. Financial disaster. Deaths. Career turmoil. Health problems, family drama(s), dysfunction like you wouldn't believe.

For me personally: 2010 turned out to be the hardest year of my entire life. And that's saying something, since 2009 was excruciatingly painful and, until 2010, had been the hardest year of my entire life.

There are many, many reasons for this, none of which I speak of publicly.

But here's something I feel sort of comfortable talking about, and that is how 2010 was the year I decided I wanted to be done with the whole published author gig.

People who know me weren't shocked by this decision. People who really know me know that this was a decision a long time coming.

Rewind: Joe's birthday, 2008. I'd agreed to appear at a bookstore fundraiser for a public library (which, if you think about it, is a little twisted in and of itself). They stuck me in the cookbook section and left me alone. No one so much as talked to me for 90 minutes. I needed to use the bathroom but wasn't supposed to leave my table until someone was there to cover it for me. Eventually the need to pee won out over the need to follow the rules. When I got back to the table, I realized I had 90 minutes left on my shift. I looked at a group of kids walk past me to play Guitar Hero at the station set up behind me, packed my bag, and left.

On the long ride home - because of course this freebie thing had to be 60 miles away - I started thinking, "I hate this crap." I hate agreeing to appear at lame fundraisers where my presence is unnecessary or even useful. I hate driving two hours to sit in a booth at a book fair that no one attends. I hate driving three hours to teach workshops at libraries where the person organizing the event neglects to publicize it and three kids show up and write scary poems about cutting themselves and then stare blankly at me when I express concern over their general well-being.

I should've spent the day baking a cake for my then-boyfriend (now fiance). Instead, I spent it feeling humiliated and bitter and resentful.

There are people who get really, really angry when I say things like this. Most of them are struggling writers who think, "You've published six books. One of them got made into a Lifetime movie that still airs bimonthly. For some reason, the Dutch love your novels. So why are you complaining about any of it?"

For the record: I am not complaining.

FACT: Being a working author is maybe 15% about the writing. The other 85% is mostly selling yourself to people in one form or another, through your blog, emails, listserv postings, conference appearances, signings, library things, school visits, etc. It is exhausting.

FACT: Being a successful working author requires an enormous amount of networking (much of which falls into the tush-kissing category), self promotion (see above), and trying to come up with ideas for books that are both commercial and literary and will get your publishers excited to work with you.

FACT: Being a lower midlist author (which, let's face it, is pretty much what I was for 90% of my career as a working writer) means feeling inadequate the majority of the time, praying for shelf/review space, and having to swallow editorial advice like "Do you think you could add a C Plot involving two teachers in love, like in CLUELESS?" All while still trying to sell yourself and kiss tushies and write books that will appeal to consumers who adore vampire books with excessive adverbs.

To repeat: I am not complaining. I am simply stating my perceptions, based on nine years of experience.

Complaining would mean that I was saying all of this while still trying to make it as a working writer.

I am not.

Last s

Usually for Christmas my mom drives to this small candy shop in Southern Jersey to buy us all pounds of chocolate-covered oyster crackers. But they're super pricey, so this year both of us tried to figure out how to make them ourselves (independent of one another). Couldn't find a good recipe for that, but we both stumbled upon recipes for Saltine Candy. In the spirit of full disclosure, I haven't actually made this yet. But my mom did, for Christmas, and I'm making it Friday to bring to a New Year's Eve party. IT IS SO FRAKKIN' GOOD. Almost as good as the matzoh crunch we make at Passover.

Saltine Candy

INGREDIENTS

Nonstick spray
40 saltine crackers
1 cup butter
1 cup light brown sugar
1 ½ cups milk chocolate chips
1 cup chopped pecans

PREPARATION

Line jelly roll pan (9” x 13”) with foil and spray with nonstick spray. Lay crackers out flat on foil. Do not overlap.

In a small saucepan, melt butter and sugar together until foamy (about 3 minutes). Pour over crackers and spread with spatula to coat.

Bake in 350 degree oven for 10 minutes.

After removing pan from oven, sprinkle chocolate chips over baked layer. Let soften and melt, then spread to cover the entire top.

While chocolate is still soft, sprinkle nuts over top and press in lightly.

Let cool and refrigerate until hardened.

I've posted this recipe before, but every time I mention it (or make them), more people ask. I realized that we've modified the recipe since the first time I posted it, so here is the NEW version, which is just about perfect by our standards. Enjoy!

Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies

INGREDIENTS:

1 cup butter, softened
2/3 cup packed brown sugar
2/3 cup granulated sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 eggs
2½ cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
½ tsp. fine sea salt (kosher okay if you don't have fine sea salt)
1½ cups semi-sweet chocolate chips (original recipe calls for 1 cup semi-sweet, 1 cup white - we find that too sweet and prefer this)
1 lb. thin (read: CHEAP) bacon

PREPARATION:

Roast bacon in 375 degree oven until nice and crisp. Drain on paper towels, then pulse in food processor until in semi-fine, smallish bits (but not paste).

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Beat together the butter, sugars, vanilla and eggs until creamy. In another bowl, sift together the dry ingredients. Add the dry ingredients to the butter mixture and stir together. Dough will be slightly soft.

Add in chocolate chips and bacon bits. Stir until well integrated. Place dough on a sheet of waxed paper and refrigerate at least an hour.

Remove dough from fridge, pinch off 1½ inch pieces of dough and roll into balls. Set dough balls about 2 inches apart on an ungreased cookie sheet. Flatten dough balls slightly with your fingers in the center.

Bake cookies for about 10 to 12 minutes, or until the dough starts to turn golden brown.

[NOTE: This dough freezes well. Roll into logs in waxed paper and twist ends before sealing in a freezer bag. When you’re ready to make the cookies, slice off log and bake as above. Cook times for frozen dough varies; check on them after 10 minutes and gauge from there.]

I know I've been really bad about blogging (and answering email, and seeing my family, and just about everything else in the world), but life has been absolutely bonkers! My plate is so full, I'm like that really obnoxious woman at Old Country Buffet whose platter's piled so high the biscuits start falling off as she toddles back to her table.

Anyway.

Does anyone remember the very last scene of the series finale of SEX & THE CITY? Carrie reunites with Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte, and the four of them start walking down a NYC sidewalk, arms linked, while "You Got the Love" swells in the backgroundl? It made me bawl like a baby, because it reminded me how powerful good female friendships can be. You know, this one:



Here are some of the lyrics:

Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air
I know I can count on you

Sometimes I feel like saying, "Lord, I just don't care"
But you've got the love I need to see me through

Sometimes I see that the boy is just too rough
And things go wrong no matter what I do
Now it feels like life is just too much
You've got the love I need to see me through

Actually, I'd never realized this before, but it's kind of a Christian R&B song, because the next part goes like this:

When food is gone
You are my daily meal
When friends are gone I know
My savior's love is real
Your love is real

Huh.

Anyway, this week, I was reminded of how much my girlfriends keep me sane, and how lost I'd be without them. They are my saviors. They're the ones I can count on when I'm totally imploding. The ones who tell me to just walk away when I spent two hours trying to make a Girl Scout green cooked frosting that ends up looking like the Incredible Hulk had diarrhea in my Mario Batali mixing bowl. The ones who talk me through tears, who remind me that I will get through this, because I always get through this (whatever "this" may be).

So, yeah.

Ladies, I love you. You are my sisters.

I thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

I come from a long line of brunettes - dark chocolately brunettes who, due to the nature of pigmentation, start to go gray anywhere from 16 (my mother) to 20 (me). In the beginning, I had a lone silver hair or two that I would viciously pluck. But as they multiplied, and vanity kicked in, I started to dye them.

The first time I dyed my hair, I was fourteen years old and about to enter my sophomore year in high school (yeah, I was a little young for my grade - that's what happens when you have a January birthday). I dyed it black to be like my then-idol, Winona Ryder. Coal black is not the most flattering color on a sallow-skinned teenager with too many zits; it didn't help that I avoided the sun at all costs that summer so as to try to cultivate a creamy, pale Winona-esque skin tone (but again: nature wasn't on my side there, as I have that Eastern European yellow-ness that often leaves people guessing that I'm Hispanic - ironic because I look more Hispanic than my half-Mexican fiance). I remember my classmates at the small private school I attended from fourth through tenth grades commenting on the black hair as a sign of "rebelliousness," which was of course what I was going for but in hindsight seems kind of childish of me.

Anyway, in college I played with various shades of red, running the gamut from a coppery brown to dark, hennaed Lucille Ball kind of hue (this happened when I was in London, of all places, after I got a crazy short haircut - well, short for me, shorter than I'd ever had it before - and Lauren convinced me I needed to go BOLD). But, eventually I grew out of wanting to play with color and went back to my (literal) roots and started dyeing my hair to match the chocolately brown that surrounding and increasing number of stray grays.

The older I got, the more gray sprouted through - and when you have almost-black hair naturally, you can really see those grays. Plus, I have very fine, very thin hair, and the grays come through coarse and wiry. So about every three months, I would hit the bottle and wiped out my stubborn grays.

Then, this summer, I ended up landing the interview that got me my new job. The night before my first interview, I'd planned on dyeing my hair, but a series of events conspired that kept me from doing so (including a wardrobe crisis, but that's another post for another day). So I didn't dye it, and it made me feel weird and self-conscious.

Color me surprised when every single woman I interviewed with that day had decided to go gray gracefully. And they all looked lovely and natural and like they had more important and/or fun things to do with their time than worry about pigmentation. I'd decided it was kind of fortuitous that I hadn't had the time to touch up my roots, and made a conscious decision not to dye my hair prior to the follow-up interview. And hey - I'm pretty sure that's not why I got the job, but I didn't want to mess with a good thing. So I stayed dye-free.

Only then I entered into this new "shortest-hair-of-my-life" phase (or, as my mom likes to call it, "practically bald"). It's more of an ultra-short pixie cut, actually, created in part to correct a botched haircut I got in September that left me with a mullet. Fun fact: most of my botched haircuts leave me with mullets, or at the very least, an uglier version of Mrs. Brady's shag. Anyway, Dorothy at the Hair Cuttery in College Square Shopping Center (who's fabulous, by the way - request her by name), helped me get rid of the mullet but the result was this ultra-short pixie. I liked the cut, because it's really easy to take care of, but best of all IT'S NOT A MULLET.

However.

Ultra-short pixie cuts reveal just HOW many grays a girl like me has. I had to keep plucking one particularly wiry strand that was determined to stick straight up on my head. I cringed every time I saw silver in the mirror. I'm still a few months shy of my 35th birthday, and I'm already growing more and more con

Justyn had been raving about Nana Sherry's Cuban Black Beans and Corn Pudding ever since Christmas, when Joe and I attempted to make a corn pudding that was just ... not good. So, I asked her for the recipe. She got the black beans recipe from a native Cuban, so I'm guessing they're pretty authentic. They're super tasty and this recipe yields a ton! I ended up making them in a slow cooker (tips on conversion below). But also? That corn pudding? Joe and I were fighting over who got to lick the pan. Of course, it does have two entire sticks of butter in it ... Enjoy!

Nana Sherry's Cuban Black Beans

INGREDIENTS

2 lbs. dried black beans
2 ham shanks OR smoked pork shoulder
2 medium onions, chopped
1 large stalk of celery, chopped
1 teaspoon sugar
1 ½ tablespoons lemon juice
¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon of salt
¼ teaspoon dry mustard
½ teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 bay leaf
Yellow rice (optional)
Shredded cheddar cheese (optional)
Minced onion (optional)
Sour cream (optional)

PREPARATION

The night before, put dried beans in a stockpot and cover with boiling water to about 3 inches above the beans. Cover.

In the morning, drain the beans into the colander and rinse with cold water until it runs clear.

In the stockpot, place the ham shanks (or smoked pork shoulder – but ham shank is cheaper and will give the stock more flavor) and cover with water to about 2 inches above. Cook on medium heat for 2 ½ to 3 hours. Test meat with a fork; if it goes through easily it is done. Remove meat from broth and set aside to cool.

Add to the broth the onions, celery, sugar, lemon juice, cayenne pepper, salt, dry mustard, garlic powder, oregano, bay leaf, and drained beans. Cook over medium heat for 2 ½ to 3 hours.

While beans are cooking, remove the bones from the shanks as well as any excessive fat. Cut meat into bite-sized pieces.

When beans are done, add meat and heat to boiling. Cook for 10 minutes and check for seasoning; depending on the ham you may need to add more salt.

Serve on a bed of yellow rice garnished with cheddar, minced onion, and sour cream. Best with Corn Pudding (recipe follows).

[NOTE: I made these on a work night, so I decided to translate the recipe into my slow cooker. I soaked the beans in boiling water overnight and chopped all of the vegetables before bed. In the morning, I put those on the bottom of the slow cooker, nestled in the ham shanks, covered with water, added the broth stuff, and then poured the beans on top of everything. Put it on low for 8 hours. When I came home, I fished the shanks out, removed the bones (they'd all but fallen out of the shank), and tried to harvest some genuine meat (the shanks I used were mostly skin and bone). Then I let the whole thing stay on Warm while I made the yellow rice (a package mix from Goya) and Corn Pudding (below). Easy peasy!]

Corn Pudding

INGREDIENTS

2 sticks butter
2 eggs
1 can creamed-style corn
1 can whole kernel corn, un-drained
1 package Jiffy corn bread mix
1 small can green chilies, drained
1 cup sour cream

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

In a medium mixing bowl, beat the two eggs. Add in the canned corn (both kinds), corn bread mix, chilies, and sour cream. Mix well.

Melt two sticks of butter and add to mixture and pour into an ungreased 13 x 9” pan. Bake at 375 degrees for one hour.

Can be made ahead and refrigerated before baking or baked immediately.

[ANOTHER NOTE: Nana Sherry's recipe calls for 1/3 cup of sugar added to the Jiffy mix, but I thought the Corn Pudding was sweet enough without it. However, that is her original recipe, so I wanted to make note here.]

[LAST NOTE: Joe an

Unless Bella was backed by her army of bloodsuckers, the answer is clearly Katniss.

That's why I found it amusing when this week's EW posed the question, "Is This the Next TWILIGHT?" (The "this" being THE HUNGER GAMES trilogy, of course.) There's a cute blue call out that says "A Trilogy Takes Off!" in some kind of font leftover from the late '70s. EW bases their valuation on the number of copies MOCKINGJAY, the third installment in Suzanne Collins's bestselling trilogy, moved its first week. They quote the incomparable David Levithan as saying, "Book 3 was the breakthrough book for HARRY POTTER and TWILIGHT, too. We're hitting right on schedule."

And okay, I get that EW is really making a comparison based on book sales, Hollywood adaptations, and fan reaction to both series. But as someone who absolutely loved THE HUNGER GAMES and positively loathed TWILIGHT, I still take offense.

In response, I decided to offer three major reasons why THE HUNGER GAMES trilogy is nothing like the TWILIGHT one:

1. Suzanne Collins can actually write. I read an interview with Stephanie Meyer (in, EW, actually), where the author says something like, "I'm a storyteller, not a writer," and then went on to say how she was trying to learn to be a better writer. And for about thirteen seconds, I felt bad for her. There has been a ton of ink spilled about just how bad a writer Meyer truly is, and even I can admit that the premise for the TWILIGHT books is sexy and appealing to teens. But then I remembered that she's a gajillionaire, and my empathy went out the window.

I often quote TWILIGHT in my creative writing classes as examples of what not to do. My favorite is using it to illustrate that concept that adverbs are not your friends. I say, "If two people are having a conversation, you really don't need to use the word 'conversationally' in the speech tag. 'Blah blah blah,' she said, conversationally. Really? They're having a conversation and she said it conversationally? Oh, well, that totally changes my perception."

2. Katniss Everdeen doesn't need a boyfriend to feel good about herself. I could probably tolerate the bad writing in TWILIGHT if the story itself was good enough. But I'm someone who's very attracted to character-driven novels, and I. Hate. Bella. Swan. From the very first installment, Bella is portrayed as kind of a sad-sack beyotch who gets annoyed because there's a girl at her new school that really wants to be her friend (Jessica) and a boy who really wants to date her (Mike). And then, of course, she falls for Edward, and it's EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD until the book is over. Then I made the mistake of reading NEW MOON, in which Bella spends most of the novel in a deep, deep depression because she can't be with Edward. And when I say most of the book, I'm talking hundreds of pages of moping, not wanting to leave the house, not wanting to do ANYTHING except weep over WHY, EDWARD, WHY?

Katniss Everdeen would rather shoot an arrow into her own head than engage in that kind of behavior. While there was a lot of debate amongst fans over Team Gale or Team Peeta, Katniss herself cared more about the boys' friendship than whether or not they were going to take her to the prom. She was more concerned about making sure their families were safe than whether or not she would age faster than her BF. And granted, THE HUNGER GAMES is set in a postapocalyptic world instead of a rainy one infested with evil vampires, less-evil vamps, and nice Native Americans who turn into werewolves, but still. Katniss doesn't define herself by any boy, and that is a heroine worthy of admiration.

3. Katniss Everdeen can kick some serious ass. One of the things I like best about Katniss is that she's strong - not just physically but mentally and emotionally. Yes, her stubbornness often causes unnecessary grief and drama. But hi, at least she stands up for what she believes in. She's got conviction. She's got char

... Kelly Quinones Miller!

Kelly, wrote: "The only way I can achieve balance (on any day) is to delegate. I used to feel that something was wrong with me if I couldn't, literally, do it all. But I've come to realize there's strength (and necessity) in sharing the burdens. I decide what I really need/want to do myself, and I ask others to help me with the rest. It's changed my life!"

Kelly wins an autographed copy of JUST ADD MAGIC, lots of JUST ADD MAGIC goodies (including bookmarks, recipe cards, and wooden spoons), and an autographed PB of THE SWEET LIFE OF STELLA MADISON.*

Thanks, Kelly, and for everyone who entered!


*Full disclosure: Kelly and I went to grad school together at Emerson. But CINDY picked the winner, and she didn't know that about Kelly until AFTER she picked her.

All week, my friend and debut author Cindy Callaghan has been blogging here at "Girl Uninterrupted" to celebrate the release of her new book, JUST ADD MAGIC.

Originally, Cindy and I had talked about Friday's post being a sort of run-down of a "Day in the Life" of a busy working mom/author. But alas, Cindy got snowed under with non-author-y job stuff and didn't have the time to work in an extra post.

This got me thinking about balance, and how bad I am at achieving it. I marvel at how adept Cindy is at juggling all of her various commitments: she has husband and three kids, a full-time non-writing job, volunteer work, AND she coaches soccer for her daughter's team. Plus, Cindy is one of the most prolific writers I know; she writes constantly and is already doing a polish edit on her second book.

So, the prize pack part:

Leave a comment either on LiveJournal or Facebook with your best tip for achieving balance in a busy day. Enter by 11:59 p.m. this Saturday, October 16th for your chance to win:

• Autographed copy of JUST ADD MAGIC


• Lots of JUST ADD MAGIC goodies, including bookmarks, recipe cards, and wooden spoons


• Autographed paperback of THE SWEET LIFE OF STELLA MADISON

</i>All week long, “Girl Uninterrupted” is celebrating the release of Cindy Callaghan’s JUST ADD MAGIC, a humorous middle grade mystery starring the adorable Kelly Quinn and her quirky friends and family. You can read Cindy’s other guest posts here.

Cindy’s Tips for Writing & Selling Your First Book

Welcome to the World According to Callaghan. Oh, what a world that would be! Seriously, though, I do have five sure-fire tips that I would like to share with you aspiring writers out there:

Cook Up a Well-Written Story

And by well-written, I don’t just mean a good book (thought obviously you need that – more on this below). By well-written I mean well written, which includes all of the basics: spelling, grammar, punctuation, formatting. You can have the most genius idea in the world, but if you aren’t adhering to the traditional grammar rules and you’re buried in typos, no one will take you seriously. This lesson took me a very long time to learn. I am a terrible typist and an awful proof-reader, and even though I was an English major, I make LOTS of spelling and grammatical errors. I really try not to, but it takes a tremendous amount of effort.

Cook up a Well-Told Story

To me, a well-told story has a unique idea populated with rich, colorful characters involved in an interesting or intriguing plot. These three things are huge so I want to say them again:

• A unique story idea (“or concept”)


• Rich, colorful characters


• An interesting and intriguing plot