Hooray for chickens!
They know everything.
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Hooray for chickens!
They know everything.
A paper cut tiger.
Just wanted to say, thanks to everyone, big and little, who have taken the time to review my books.
I really appreciate it, and they are part of the reason I keep on doing this.
Here is my kindle author rank on amazon, which may be of interest to other ebook self-publishers, or those thinking of it.
I think it is safe to say if I were a stock investors would probably resist temptation!
Well in spite of everything I am carrying on! (I don't have much choice, as this is all I can do, really.)
Here is latest work in progress! (Not a rhyming book this time, for a change, and with a plot and everything!)
I am tempted! If only my books were selling, I might have treated myself :(
Happy Hippo is now FREE for FIVE WHOLE DAYS!
Hooray for Happy Hippo!
An early Christmas gift for you.
Stinky Santa is FREE for five days!
Get it before the Christmas rush!!!
OK , there are small rumours that the reporting system at Amazon is having a bit of a hiccup.
Fingers crossed that it is not the end of the world after all.
Better stop fussing about and get some work done! (With crossed fingers)
Anyway, I have set Piddles The Penguin to go FREE for five whole days starting tomorrow, regardless.
So if you are amused by incontinent penguins (the subject matter has had a mixed reception, to be honest), then FILL YOUR BOOTS, as it were.
Having said I wasn't going to put any free books out again, it looks like I shall have to relent.
Having sold only four books in the last twenty four hours, it seems my idea of putting prices up and not going free has led to the worst day of sales since I started self publishing two years ago!!
Hello. I am still here. Things not going so brilliantly on the ebook front at the moment!
Sales on Amazon for all my titles have collapsed almost completely :(
Why, I have no idea.
So I have decided to put up my prices slightly, and stop giving away free ebooks. We will see what happens, but I think my bubble has burst, as it were.
Oh well, it was fun while it lasted :)
I shall be revamping this blog shortly, I hope, and thinking of other things to keep me busy now my Kindle empire has crumbled!
Otto Fishblanket has gone on an extended ghost-hunting tour of the canals of Britain in a specially converted narrowboat.
Cheerio for now!
|Here is my grand daughter enjoying an ice lolly!|
I am putting If You Have A Hat up for free again today!
I just did some adding up and I have discovered that to date I have had over 38,000 free downloads from my previous free days!!!
Also, since February 2011 I have sold over 22,000 If You Have A Hat ebooks.
Obviously I'm not selling so many now. I don't know if it is because I have given so many away!
|If you Have A Hat - Free Ebook|
If you like happy hippos then have a look at my latest Kindle title.
It isn't really a story, more of a jolly, illustrated poem.
It introduces you to the Happy Hippo, who has happy hippo thoughts all day (they pop into his head, and then they float away).
If you would like to meet the Happy Hippo, click on the links below to find him in the Amazon store!
|Hooray for happy hippos!|
I have decided my next bestselling book will be about penguins. Or, rather, one penguin in particular.
I am putting the chickens to one side for the moment.
As you were.
Happy New Year!
Otto Fishblanket here!
Gerald Hawksley is living on his nerves at the moment, and requests to be left in peace until he has finished the last of his Christmas chocolates.
Meanwhile, I am taking to being a bestselling famous author like nobody's business.
Stinky Santa got up to number seven hundred and something out of all Kindle books on Amazon.co.uk!
How do I follow up such rip-roaring success, you might ask?
Well, I was thinking of writing a best-selling book about chickens, as I think I mentioned previously.
But then I got to thinking about penguins as well.
You can see my dilemma.
Write about both, you might say!
This has crossed my mind. But which would be the most best-selleringest? Which do I turn my recently discovered best-selling author's brain to first?
You can see this is not a job to be envied. This decision will take much staring out of the window at the cows in the field.
You will, of course, be the first to be informed when I have made my choice.
What ho! Otto here!
Here is my new bestselling work of children's literature!
It is about a penguin called Piddles who widdles everywhere.
"Brilliant!" I hear you say, wondering why no-one has penned such a tome before. That is why I am a Bestselling Author and International Poet and you are not. (Statistically speaking it is very unlikely another Bestselling Author and International Poet is reading this. But if you are actually a Bestselling Author and International Poet, I apologize.)
It will be free, of course, for a short period, purely out of the goodness of my heart, on Monday and Tuesday. Probably this coming Monday and Tuesday, the 28th and 29th of January. But as it is only 99 cents, or 77 pence, why not buy it anyway? You can always return it if you don't like it!
Click on this rather shakily drawn cover image to view the thing on Amazon.com, or click on the links underneath!
Gerald Hawksley here!
I have stopped sulking now, and will be announcing some new books shortly!
I just have to catch up on some stuff I said I would do for other people, and then hopefully I will have a long stretch of time to work on my own efforts.
Otto Fishblanket sends his regards, and he, too, will have some new books available soon.
I really should set up some sort of mailing list, but I am extraordinarily badly organized.