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These are my stories of my abuse, years that I suffered while living in a Jacksonville, Florida orphanage. The pain, suffering and mental anguish is not easy to read. These stories tell of my feelings. How I took that suffering boldly and how I tried, as best I could, to ease the pain of others. The abuse, hurt and pain I suffered as a child has never left my mind and I feel it as strongly today a... More

These are my stories of my abuse, years that I suffered while living in a Jacksonville, Florida orphanage. The pain, suffering and mental anguish is not easy to read. These stories tell of my feelings. How I took that suffering boldly and how I tried, as best I could, to ease the pain of others. The abuse, hurt and pain I suffered as a child has never left my mind and I feel it as strongly today as I did when I was a child. Forever these memories live with me as a reminder of where I came from and who I am. If the quote above is indeed true, then why I did not turn out to be an abuser. Many who read my stories of my abusive childhood marvel at how I could become a contributing member of society. How I can become a published author with only a 6th grade education, how I can focus on the horrible abuse, and how I earnestly strive, through my books and my media coverage, to seek public and government reform. How can I help others when so much in me goes unhealed? So, why did I not turn out to be an abuser myself ? It is because I could no longer stand to see the pain abuse causes in the hearts and mind of my fellow man. I know the desperation very well. I was there and it happened to me. I cannot recall even one instance where I physically abused my children. I suppose this is because the abuse, the hurt and the pain that I suffered as a child has left such a devastating effect on me I promised myself I would never do this to my children. I find I make that conscious decision everyday. My children are grown and have children of their own. Now, I reaffirm my decision for my grandchildren's sake. I choose not to abuse. It is a decision that I make every day of my life. I help others because I have no choice. When I see the pain of others, my own past reappears and it hurts me so badly. I see myself in their faces, I understand their mental torture, and I know their hopelessness. I need to let them know that I am here and I am a friend. I understand because I have been where they are. Nobody was there for me but I am determined I will be there for them. I must do what I can to save them in order to save myself.

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